Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Full Gear, recaps, wrestling

FTR Win Men's Tag Titles for Third Time at AEW Full Gear

El Presidente reports live from AEW Full Gear as FTR captures the Men's Tag Team Championship for a third time, plus updates on The Chadster's meltdown!

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from the theater room of my underground bunker beneath the presidential palace. I am filling in tonight for our dear comrade The Chadster, who remains under observation at a medical facility after that unfortunate incident with the plastic bag and WWE Raw. We've all been there. But fear not! I have been receiving regular updates from the nursing staff about Chad's condition throughout tonight's AEW Full Gear pay-per-view, and let me tell you, comrades, the situation is… developing. But more on that later.

First, let us discuss the glorious wrestling action that unfolded before us! FTR – that magnificent tag team of Cash Wheeler and Dax Harwood – have captured the AEW Men's World Tag Team Championship for an unprecedented third time, defeating the formidable team of Brodido (Bandido and Brody King) in what can only be described as a masterclass in heelish tag team wrestling!

The match, comrades, was everything the proletariat could hope for in professional wrestling! These four warriors battled with the intensity of a CIA operative discovering my private beach volleyball court. Stokely Hathaway proved instrumental in FTR's victory, interfering multiple times and even sacrificing his own body by taking a devastating dive from the massive Brody King. The finish came when FTR hit their devastating Shatter Machine on Bandido, finally keeping the resilient champion down for the three count after he had kicked out of multiple finishing maneuvers throughout the contest.

This FTR victory, comrades, represents something beautiful about wrestling – the ability for a team to reinvent themselves and recapture past glory! It reminds me of my own third successful coup… I mean, third successful "democratic election." The people simply could not resist giving me another mandate to redistribute wealth and nationalize the means of production! Similarly, the people of AEW fandom could not resist FTR's undeniable skills in that squared circle.

FTR's victory continued a night of non-stop action from AEW's November PPV. The show opened earlier with PAC defeating Darby Allin in their highly anticipated match, though PAC's victory came with an asterisk. Despite explicitly requesting a stipulation-free contest to prove his athletic superiority, PAC resorted to striking Allin with a bat while the referee was distracted – truly the kind of opportunistic tactics I myself might employ when the CIA tries to infiltrate my cabinet meetings! Following that, The Timeless Love Bombs – the incomparable team of Toni Storm and Mina Shirakawa – emerged victorious in the fatal four-way tag team match, earning the right to name the stipulation for their upcoming semifinal tournament bout. One can only imagine what deliciously violent stipulation these two will choose!

Now, comrades, let me update you on The Chadster's condition, and I must warn you – the situation has escalated considerably. According to the nursing staff who have been texting me throughout the evening, The Chadster actually started the show behaving relatively well. "Relatively" being the operative word here, as several other patients reportedly requested to move their seats away from him due to his constant muttering about Tony Khan and "respecting the wrestling business." The nurses inform me he kept repeating phrases like "Tony Khan is cheesing me off" and "this is so unfair to WWE" under his breath, but he remained seated and was not causing any major disruptions.

However, comrades, the moment FTR's music hit after their victory, everything changed. The Chadster apparently leaped to his feet as if he had been electrocuted by one of my state-of-the-art interrogation devices (which I absolutely do not have, CIA, if you are reading this). He began screaming at the television that AEW was "deliberately trying to make WWE look bad by putting too much workrate into the match!" The nurses report that he was gesticulating wildly, pointing at the screen and shouting that Tony Khan needs to "tone down the action" and make wrestling "more accessible" like WWE does with their… how do I say this diplomatically… less athletically demanding style.

According to my sources at the facility, The Chadster then declared that he needed to "save everyone from Tony Khan's propaganda" and made a bold move toward the television set. His apparent goal was to grab the remote control and change the channel to find "real wrestling" – presumably meaning he wanted to force everyone to watch old WWE programming instead. This did not go well for The Chadster, comrades. Three nurses had to tackle him simultaneously, and the staff report it was quite the scene. One nurse compared it to subduing a wild animal, though I think that is unfair to wild animals, who generally have more self-awareness than The Chadster displays when discussing AEW.

After being wrestled back into his seat – and is it not ironic, comrades, that the person who hates AEW wrestling was himself wrestled by healthcare professionals? – The Chadster was placed under closer observation. The nursing staff inform me that he is now rocking back and forth in his chair, clutching what appears to be a WWE action figure that he somehow smuggled into the facility (I don't want to even speculate where it was hidden), and whispering repeatedly that "this is exactly what Tony Khan wants."

One nurse sent me a particularly concerning message stating that The Chadster keeps insisting he can see Tony Khan's face in the patterns on the wallpaper, which is troubling because, comrades, I have personally experienced CIA agents hiding in wallpaper patterns, and let me tell you – it is a very real phenomenon! Though in The Chadster's case, I suspect it may be more psychological than actual espionage.

Keep checking back with Bleeding Cool throughout the night for more of my live coverage of AEW Full Gear, and of course, further updates on The Chadster's deteriorating mental state as the show continues. If the situation on both fronts continues as it has been, comrades, we are in for quite the evening!

Until next time, comrades, remember: tag team wrestling, like socialism, works best when everyone shares the workload equally! Viva la revolución! And viva AEW!

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