Not Kayfabe News: The Rock Buys XFL from Vince McMahon

In the biggest swerve since the name on the contract to purchase WCW did read McMahon, but not Vince McMahon, former WWE Superstar turned Hollywood megastar The Rock has purchased the XFL from former boss Vince McMahon. According to a report from Sportico, The Rock, who tends to go more often by his birth name Dwayne Johnson these days, formed a tag team with RedBird Capital to purchase the failed football league for $15 million. Who is RedBird Capital? IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO THEY ARE!

Dwayne Johnson, aka The Rock, is the new owner of the XFL.
Dwayne Johnson, aka The Rock, is the new owner of the XFL.

The XFL, which originally launched in 2001 as a smashmouth football league powered by the sleaze and drama of the pro wrestling business, was rebooted earlier this year by McMahon, who has ironically spent his entire life building a pro wrestling empire in WWE just so he could have enough money and prominence to make his mark as something other than a pro wrestling promoter. McMahon's last-ditch effort to be taken seriously actually seemed to be going well until the coronavirus pandemic ran into the ring and smashed the inaugural season in the head with a steel chair.

With fans disallowed in live sporting events and the future of sports for the next year in question, McMahon decided to close down the league and declare bankruptcy. The XFL was set to go up for auction hours after The Rock made the last-minute save, telling authorities to take their little auction, shine it up real nice, turn it sideways, and stick it straight up their rudie-poo, candy asses. According to the report, The Rock and RedBird split the bill 50/50. Now all they have to do is wait for someone to develop a coronavirus vaccine and try again to launch the XFL. Third time is, traditionally, the charm, right?

About Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!

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