Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: Raw, retribution, wrestling, wwe

Retribution Unmasks on WWE Monday Night Raw, Revealing Identities

WWE Monday Night Raw opened up with a bang tonight when Retribution, the gang of Antifa-inspired, hoodie-wearing WWE superstars that have been engaging in acts of vandalism against WWE for weeks, took the ring and took off their masks… sort of. They definitely took their hoodies off, and they were now wearing more revealing masks. Ones that allow us to identify them. Or most of them.

From our weekly Raw recap (out tomorrow), here's how it went down.

The WWE intro plays, the messed up Retribution one with weird rewinds and, perhaps most hilariously, upside down footage. Retribution is at ringside and then in the ring on Raw. Tom Phillips announces they've signed contracts. Wait, what? They remove their hoods and they're wearing masks, but masks that show most of their faces. Hannibal Lector masks. Bane masks. That sort of thing. Mia Yim talks. She says giving them contracts won't save WWE. They're still gonna destroy it. Dominik Dijakovic calls everyone in WWE whores who collect paychecks. Retribution will make them pay. They're gonna drain the blood from Raw or something. They're the judge, the jury and the executioners. Dio Madden is there. Mercedes Martinez is there. Some other guy is there… maybe they didn't decide who would be that guy yet. Rumors say Shane Thorne, but we didn't get to see his face.

Hurt Business comes out. This is their new group theme song, I guess? Last week, I thought it was Cedric Alexander's new theme. Anyway, Hurt Business take off their suit jackets and then head to the ring. Retribution retreats to the outside. MVP gets a mic. He accuses them of cowardice. He challenges them to a match tonight. Bobby Lashley says Hurt Business aren't kids hiding behind masks. They'll beat them down and look good doing it.

A bunch of Retribution flunkies arrive and surround the ring. A brawl breaks out but it's like twenty vs. four. Hurt Business gets beat down. Raw goes to commercials.

So yes, you heard that right. WWE, for some reason, gave the anarchists who have been attacking them for weeks contracts. Then Retribution took off their masks and got punked out by Hurt Business. Then a bunch of flunkies showed up and beat down Hurt Business. Basically, nobody looks good here. Also, if Retribution is insulting people working for WWE for money… why did they sign contracts? For that matter, why did they need to sign contracts when they all already had contracts? Hey, you don't think WWE is making this crap up as they go along, do you?

Ah well. This will play out with a match later, it seems. We'll let you know how that goes in our Raw report tomorrow morning.

UPDATE: Later in the night, we learned the names of the three male members of Retribution: T-Bar, Mace, and Slapjack. It's also notable that WWE is pretending they are completely different persons from the NXT wrestlers they obviously are.

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