It's a very bad day for the sport of pro wrestling. Thanks to collusion between Tony Khan, the wrestling media, Major League Baseball, and the Neilsen ratings company, The Chadster's beloved WWE Smackdown tied with AEW Rampage in the key demo last Friday when Smackdown aired on FS1. This was despite WWE adding an extra half-hour to Smackdown to bring Rampage's rating down, and despite Smackdown winning in overall viewership. The Chadster was devastated when he heard the news.
Numb. That's how The Chadster feels right now knowing that AEW's B-Show, Rampage, could even come close to WWE Smackdown. Of course, Rampage had a huge advantage because Smackdown was on FS1, which means it was in the same number of homes as Rampage on TNT, rather than more than 10 million more homes on Fox. The Chadster finds it to be extremely unfair that Smackdown didn't have its usual unfair advantage in competing with Rampage. Additionally, Tony Khan and YouTube colluded to air Bryan Danielson vs. Minoru Suzuki on an hour-long pre-show ahead of Rampage, which also unfairly hurt Smackdown by giving viewers the option of watching something else.
Let's just say it plainly: Tony Khan cheated. There's no other way that Rampage and Smackdown would be so close, with Showbuzz Daily reporting that both shows scored a .24 in the key 18-49 demo. In other demos, Smackdown won some (like Women 18-49, Men 12-34, and People 50+, and Chads), and Rampage won others (like Men 18-49 and People 18-34). Smackdown had 866,000 overall viewers and Rampage had 578,000.
If that was it, The Chadster would obviously be very hurt, but he could move on. But that wasn't all. Brandon Thurston of Wrestlenomics also colluded with Tony Khan to unfairly show that AEW Rampage won in head-t0-head competition with Smackdown during the half-hour that both shows were on the air at the same time.
And do you want to know the worst part? AEW Dynamite on Saturday probably beat Smackdown in the demo easily.
Devastating. Normally, upon receiving terrible news like this, The Chadster would head out to his garage, turn on Smashmouth on the car radio of his Mazda Miata, and drink White Claw Seltzers until The Chadster passed out in a puddle of his own drool and his wife Keighleyanne had to wake him up in the morning when she goes to work. But not even the deliciousness of White Claw Seltzer can get The Chadster out of this funk. The pain of Smackdown's loss will probably be with The Chadster for the rest of The Chadster's life.
The Chadster know what you're probably expecting here. For The Chadster to get really cheesed off and use cuss words like "dang" and complain that The Chadster has been rendered sexually impotent by Tony Khan's campaign to destroy The Chadster's life. But The Chadster doesn't feel cheesed off. The Chadster just feels… empty inside. Like nothing matters. Like nothing will be okay ever again.
Maybe The Chadster should take this as a sign. Maybe The Chadster just isn't cut out to be the lone unbiased voice in all of wrestling journalism (except maybe for Ryan Satin, who is equally as unbiased as The Chadster). Maybe The Chadster should give it up, go get a regular job, and let Tony Khan win.
Ha! Tony Khan would like that, wouldn't he? To know that he utterly humiliated The Chadster, ruined The Chadster's marriage, and drove The Chadster out of the esteemed profession of wrestling journalism. But The Chadster isn't going to give Tony Khan that satisfaction. Just like The Chadster's hero, Baron Corbin, The Chadster will persevere until The Chadster's luck turns around and things start going his way. Take that, Tony Khan! You may have tied WWE Smackdown in the demo, but you'll never beat WWE and you'll never beat The Chadster, just as surely as The Chadster will never again have sex with his wife thanks to your wrestling company. But not having sex with The Chadster's wife is a small price to pay for doing the right thing and standing up for WWE in the face of Tony Khan's bullying.
Now, The Chadster is going to break out a six-pack of White Claw, bring his portable television out to the garage, and get ready to watch some Monday Night Raw! And that's the bottom line 'cause Chad said so!