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Vince McMahon to Andrade: No WWE Release for You

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from Lara Trump's charity dog rescue, where I have been posing undercover as a chihuahua for months in order to investigate allegations of the siphoning $1.9 million to Donald Trump himself through Trump's various properties, including Mar-a-Lago. I think we have finally got him this time, comrades! Haw haw haw haw! But I'm here for another equally serious report, comrades, because it seems that  Vince McMahon has denied Superstar Andrade's request for a release.

Andrade is all like WTF comrade when Vince McMahon doesn't have any plans for him in WWE.
Andrade is all like WTF comrade when Vince McMahon doesn't have any plans for him in WWE.

Yesterday, my friends, we told you how Andrade reportedly requested his release after WWE forgot that he worked there around last October. Andrade has shown up for work every week since then, but WWE has nothing for him to do creatively. Making matters worse, Andrade is currently involved in a romantic relationship with Charlotte Flair, one of Vince's biggest stars, putting Vince in a very awkward position. Yesterday, your El Presidente brought you the true heaping scoop on this story that no other dirt sheet has:

Amigos, take this with a grain of salt, but your El Presidente has even heard rumors that this has been in the works for a long time. Vince McMahon would actually like to get rid of Andrade, but first he has to deal with the problem of him dating Charlotte Flair. Sources tell me that Vince has been heard many times backstage yelling, "Charlotte! Wouldn't you rather date someone like Baron Corbin, pal? That would be good shit. I'll owe you one!" But Charlotte is happy being with Andrade, comrades, which has led Vince to keep Andrade employed rather than following his instincts and striking his enemies before they can strike him, like a true El Presidente would do!

And now, comrades, it seems that Vince has made his decision. According to F4WOnline, Andrade's request for a release from WWE has been denied. Sorry, Andrade! But on the bright side, it means you will get to spend many more months enjoying free catering without having to do any actual work. Haw haw haw haw! Until next time, amigos: socialism or death.

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El PresidenteAbout El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!
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