Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from Lara Trump's charity dog rescue, where I have been posing undercover as a chihuahua for months in order to investigate allegations of the siphoning $1.9 million to Donald Trump himself through Trump's various properties, including Mar-a-Lago. I think we have finally got him this time, comrades! Haw haw haw haw! But I'm here for another equally serious report, comrades, because it seems that Vince McMahon has denied Superstar Andrade's request for a release.
Yesterday, my friends, we told you how Andrade reportedly requested his release after WWE forgot that he worked there around last October. Andrade has shown up for work every week since then, but WWE has nothing for him to do creatively. Making matters worse, Andrade is currently involved in a romantic relationship with Charlotte Flair, one of Vince's biggest stars, putting Vince in a very awkward position. Yesterday, your El Presidente brought you the true heaping scoop on this story that no other dirt sheet has:
Amigos, take this with a grain of salt, but your El Presidente has even heard rumors that this has been in the works for a long time. Vince McMahon would actually like to get rid of Andrade, but first he has to deal with the problem of him dating Charlotte Flair. Sources tell me that Vince has been heard many times backstage yelling, "Charlotte! Wouldn't you rather date someone like Baron Corbin, pal? That would be good shit. I'll owe you one!" But Charlotte is happy being with Andrade, comrades, which has led Vince to keep Andrade employed rather than following his instincts and striking his enemies before they can strike him, like a true El Presidente would do!
And now, comrades, it seems that Vince has made his decision. According to F4WOnline, Andrade's request for a release from WWE has been denied. Sorry, Andrade! But on the bright side, it means you will get to spend many more months enjoying free catering without having to do any actual work. Haw haw haw haw! Until next time, amigos: socialism or death.