Will WWE's New Goldberg Documentary Update Us on His Poop Status?

WWE will release two new documentaries on the WWE network this week, one that breaks new ground for the company by exploring the world outside Sports Entertainment, and another that gets to the bottom of a mystery that has intrigued WWE fans for the last four years: Goldberg's poop schedule. The former WCW star revealed that at age 50, his body required him to poop twenty times a day to keep up with his wrestling training schedule. How is he doing at 54?

Dolph Ziggler to Wrestle Goldberg, Not Shawn Michaels, at WWE SummerSlam
Bill Goldberg was pooping twenty times a day back in 2017. How often does he poop now?!

From WWE.com:

Highlighting the schedule is this Sunday's world premiere of HEAVEN, which tells the story of high school athlete Heaven Fitch. Fitch made history in 2020 by becoming the first female to win a boy's state wrestling championship in North Carolina. Narrated by Beth Phoenix, this film marks WWE Network Documentaries' first foray outside the genre of sports-entertainment, and it will be available to stream on demand on the Free Version of WWE Network and across WWE social channels.

And as for the other:

Also premiering Sunday is Goldberg at 54, which follows the WWE Hall of Famer as he prepared for his WWE Championship Match against Drew McIntyre at Royal Rumble in January. This intimate look at the former Universal and World Heavyweight Champion reveals the mental and physical challenges that Goldberg was forced to confront during his most recent comeback as he readied to challenge a world-beater 20 years his junior.

And so while they don't outright say it, it seems clear we can surmise from "this intimate look" and "mental and physical challenges" that what they mean here is Goldberg's poop issues.

"I am nothing but a machine now," Goldberg said back in 2017. "I get up in the morning. I eat. I train. I eat. I go to the bathroom about 20 times intermittently throughout the day because I'm shoving 15 to 20,000 calories in my body and it doesn't know what's going on. At 50 years old, it has no idea."

And that was four years ago. How often does Goldberg poop now, at 54? We're thinking upwards of 47, maybe 63 times a day. The man is probably just constantly pooping. They had to stick a cork in his butt just so he could go out and lose to Drew McIntyre at the Royal Rumble.

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A prophecy claims that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events. Unfortunately, nobody can tell when the comics industry has reached its "darkest days" because it somehow keeps finding new lows to sink to. No matter! Jude Terror stands vigilant, bringing the snarkiest of comic book and pro wrestling clickbait to the undeserving readers of Bleeding Cool.
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