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WWE RAW Report 6/15/2020 Part 1: Big Show, Bigger Ninja, and Divorce

Last night, we witnessed what may have been THE GREATEST WRESTLING MATCH EVER. May have been, but wasn't. It was okay. The match was dragged down by WWE's hype and by the weird and distracting decision to pipe in crowd noise. And then, to make matters worse, Edge tore his tricep… while filming reshoots! Reshoots! Damn you , cinematic era of wrestling! It's time for WWE Monday Night Raw, three hours of your life you'll never get back.

Raw opens with Woke Randy Orton coming to the ring. It feels like it was just a few months ago that Randy was dropping the n-word (not a hard R) on a gaming podcast, and now he's supporting Black Lives Matter. People really can change.

Even so, The Viper won THE GREATEST WRESTLING MATCH EVER with a nut-shot last night. Orton says he did exactly what he said he was going to do by embarrassing Edge and ending his career, but that he also gave him closure. Randy knew Edge could never be as good as he used to be, and he should have listened to Randy, but he didn't.

Orton says he's THE GREATEST WRESTLER EVER because he won THE GREATEST WRESTLING MATCH EVER. He thanks Edge for reigniting the fire in his gut. Randy is the Legend Killer again. Randy brings up tearing Edge's tricep. He says he knew when it happened but he kept going because he had to make Edge suffer and send him back home to his family. Randy wishes Edge well in his recovery and hears Edge will be out for another nine years.

Christian comes out to defend his best friend. He calls Randy cold, calculating, and a son of a bitch, which causes several performance center trainees in the audience to faint. It's unclear if that's because they were so shocked by the language, or because they've been standing for twelve hours during these tapings and haven't been allowed to eat lunch yet. Christian says Edge will be back and he'll get his closure on his own terms.

Randy says this isn't about Christian, and Christian is jealous of his friend Edge. Randy says he knows Christian better than he knows himself. Christian wants one more match. Christian denies it, but Randy isn't having it. He knows that Christian isn't cleared to compete, but he'll fight Christian in an unsanctioned match tonight on Raw. Christian has to accept the offer by the end of the night, and if he doesn't, then Christian is a coward.

Charly Caruso talks to Angel Garza and Zelina Vega backstage about Apollo Crews beating Andrade last night at Backlash. Zelina says Angel didn't cost Andrade the championship, but Angel interrupts. He says he was only trying to help and Andrade needs to let it go. Angel says he wants a special interview with Charly in the ring after he beats Andrade tonight (he meant to say Owens, but it looks like he just gave away where this feud is going). Andrade shows up and says he hopes Angel beats Kevin Owens, but if he doesn't, he hopes he gets over the disappointment. Angel Garza takes on Kevin Owens right now on Monday Night Raw! Well, after a commercial break.

Owens and Garza head to the ring. Owens and Garza start brawling, but they stop for a moment as Andrade's music plays and he comes to ringside. Owens goes for the stunner early, but Garza bails out of the ring. Andrade and Garza start bickering. Zelina says she's sick of this and walks out. Oh, it's not that easy, girl. If it were, I would have stopped watching this show sometime around 2011! Raw goes to commercials again.

Raw comes back as Garza takes control from Owens. Owens goes for a comeback but Andrade trips him and distracts the ref. But when Garza tries to take advantage, he eats a stunner and a pin. Owens leaves and Andrade gets in the ring as Zelina comes back out. Zelina tells them they need to start working together. When a woman in nine-inch heels and a supervillain cape tells you to work together, you listen, boys.

Tom Phillips queues up a recap of Bobby Lashley vs. Drew McIntyre last night. Lashley really should win the title, IMO. Backstage, MVP is discussing business with Lashley. They've got a match tonight against R-Truth and McIntyre. Not-Charly-Caruso wants to know about Lana, but MVP interrupts. He says things didn't work out last night, but they're going to address that situation right now. Well, after the commercials. This isn't a charity event.

Lashley and MVP come to the ring. MVP says Lashley should be WWE Champion, but he had his night ruined. He scolds McIntyre for taking advantage of the situation and calls out Lana for ruining the match. He says it's exclusively Lana's fault Lashley lost, and he says McIntyre is hiding behind Lana and should have offered Lashley a rematch immediately.

Lana comes to the ring. She says it was Lashley's "stupid idea" to banish her from ringside in the first place. Lana says she does everything for Lashley, including getting a divorce. Lana says she's responsible for Lashley's success and MVP is the problem. MVP calls Lana a thot. Lana says MVP is manipulating Lashley. MVP says Lashley wasn't even around the championship until MVP came around.

Lashley jumps in. He takes MVP's side and says Lana makes everything all about her. He's tired of Lana putting their social life and sex life on social media. He accuses her of being a golddigger. Lana says if she wanted to use Lashley to become famous, she would have slept with someone way more famous. She says she should have slept with Drew. Lashley says he wants a divorce. The performance center trainee crowd does a Jerry Springer chant.

Time for a recap of the Viking Raiders/Street Profits segment from last night. Once was enough for me on that one. I'll check back in a few minutes. Both teams are backstage together with Sarah Schreiber. Montez Ford compares their supergroup to the Avengers. Akira Tozawa shows up with his ninjas and demands a sequel. Tozawa calls his giant ninja (WWE trainee Jordan Omogbehin) over and laughs like a maniac. After the ninjas leave, Ford says he has an idea. Is it to forget any of this nonsense ever happened? Because that's my idea. Mercifully, Raw goes to commercials.

When the show comes back, we get an eight-man tag team match, the Viking Profits vs. Akira Tozawa and his ninjas. The big ninja is not in the match, apparently, but he is at ringside. It's a squash match, over in about a minute. The big ninja comes in the ring after the match. The Viking Profits huddle. The Big Show's music hits and The Big Show comes out for some reason. The little ninjas charge and Big Show hits his signature moves on them. The big ninja backs out of the ring and up the ramp with Tozawa. What a waste of time. Want to waste more time? Click here for part two of this WWE Raw report.

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