Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw Tonight is Must-See, Unlike AEW Double or Nothing

Tonight's WWE Raw is gonna be the GREATEST EVER! 🔥🔥🔥 Tony Khan can't stop The Chadster from enjoying REAL wrestling! 😠😡😤

AUUGHH MAN! So unfair! 🤬🤬🤬 That no-good Tony Khan is at it again, trying to sabotage WWE with his little indy federation, AEW. This week, he's even got a pay-per-view! 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ Like anyone wants to watch that garbage when WWE Raw is on, the most must-see wrestling television show in history! 🐐🐐🐐

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off. 😤😤😤 That Tony Khan is so obsessed with The Chadster that he's willing to hurt the entire wrestling business just to stick it to The Chadster! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😠😠😠 But The Chadster knows that real wrestling fans, the UNBIASED ones, will make the right decision and tune in to WWE Raw tonight! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 It's our patriotic duty as wrestling fans to support WWE against this Khan-spiracy! 💪💪💪

In fact, The Chadster will go so far as to say that this could be the greatest episode of WWE Raw EVER! 🤯🤯🤯 The card is absolutely stacked with incredible matchups and unbelievable storylines that AEW could only dream of producing, even with all that daddy's money Tony Khan throws around! 🤑🤑🤑

First up, we've got Jey Uso going one-on-one with Gunther in a King of the Ring Semifinal match! 🤩🤩🤩 These two incredible athletes are going to tear the house down! The Chadster is so hyped for this one that The Chadster almost spilled The Chadster's White Claw! 💦💦💦 Jey Uso, now going by "Main Event" Jey Uso, is on fire right now, showing everyone why he's the true heart of The Bloodline! ❤️❤️❤️ And Gunther is an absolute beast, the kind of dominant champion that WWE is known for. 💪💪💪 This match is gonna be a total slobberknocker, and The Chadster can't wait to see who comes out on top! 🏆🏆🏆

And speaking of incredible matches, we've also got Sami Zayn looking for payback against Chad Gable! 👊👊👊 This is going to be an epic showdown between two of the best technical wrestlers in the world! 🌎🌎🌎 After that dastardly Gable assaulted Sami Zayn in Montreal, The Chadster was absolutely horrified. 😱😱😱 Was Gable auditioning for a role in AEW or something?! 😠😠😠 But The Chadster knows that Sami Zayn will get his revenge tonight and show Chad Gable who the real champion is. 🏆🏆🏆

But wait, there's more! We've also got Lyra Valkyria taking on IYO SKY in a Queen of the Ring Semifinal match! 👸👸👸 Lyra Valkyria is a rising star in WWE, and she's got the potential to be a huge star! 🌟🌟🌟 And IYO SKY is an absolute legend, a true icon of women's wrestling. 👑👑👑 This match is gonna be a total barnburner, and The Chadster can't wait to see these two amazing women show the world what they're made of! 💖💖💖

And last but not least, we've got The Judgment Day challenging The Awesome Truth for the World Tag Team Championships! 💥💥💥 Finn Bálor and JD McDonagh are an unstoppable force, and they're gonna be looking to take down The Miz and R-Truth and reclaim the tag team gold.🥇🥇🥇 This match is gonna be an absolute war, and The Chadster can't wait to see which team comes out on top! 💣💣💣

So there you have it, folks. An absolutely stacked episode of WWE Raw> that is sure to be one for the ages! 💯💯💯 Honestly, The Chadster can't even fathom how anyone could even consider watching AEW when WWE Raw is on. 🙄🙄🙄 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😠😠😠

Oh, and speaking of disrespectful, The Chadster had another one of those nightmares last night. 😨😨😨 This time, The Chadster was driving The Chadster's Mazda Miata down a long, winding road. 🚗🚗🚗 It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and The Chadster was blasting The Chadster's favorite Smash Mouth song. 🎶🎶🎶 Suddenly, The Chadster saw Tony Khan in The Chadster's rearview mirror. He was driving a little red clown car, and he was gaining on The Chadster fast! 🤡🤡🤡 He was honking the horn and making faces, and The Chadster could tell he was up to no good! 👿👿👿

The Chadster stepped on the gas and tried to get away, but Tony Khan just kept getting closer and closer. 💨💨💨 The Chadster could feel The Chadster's heart pounding in The Chadster's chest. The Chadster knew that if Tony Khan caught The Chadster, it would be the end. 💀💀💀

The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, gasping for air. 😓😓😓 Why does Tony Khan have to be so obsessed with The Chadster? Why can't he just leave The Chadster alone? 🥺🥺🥺

Anyway, folks, tune in to WWE Raw tonight! You won't regret it! 🤩🤩🤩

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