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WWE Royal Rumble Preview: Can You Afford to Miss The GOAT Show?

The Chadster explains why tonight's WWE Royal Rumble will be the greatest wrestling show ever, while Tony Khan keeps trying to ruin everything with his dream invasion tactics! 🤼 💫

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Article Summary

  • Preview the exciting match card for WWE Royal Rumble, including epic showdowns and surprises.
  • Discover why Royal Rumble surpasses AEW's attempts and redefines sports entertainment greatness.
  • Hear about how Tony Khan's antics invade The Chadster's dreams, impacting his wrestling passion.
  • Find out when and where to watch Royal Rumble, and why missing it is a wrestling fan's betrayal.

The Chadster can barely contain The Chadster's excitement for tonight's WWE Royal Rumble, which is absolutely going to be the most incredible wrestling show in the history of our sport! 🎉 Unlike what Tony Khan tries to do with his knock-off battle royals, the WWE Royal Rumble is the pinnacle of sports entertainment, and The Chadster is literally vibrating with anticipation! 🚀

WWE Royal Rumble 2025 Full Match Card Preview 🤼

Let's break down this absolutely stacked card that Tony Khan wishes he could book (but never will because he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business):

WWE Tag Team Champions #DIY vs. Motor City Machine Guns (2-out-of-3 Falls Match)

WWE Royal Rumble match graphic
WWE Royal Rumble official graphic courtesy WWE – WWE, thank you so much for the amazing graphic, The Chadster will be forever grateful.

First up, we've got #DIY defending their WWE Tag Team Championships against the Motor City Machine Guns in a 2-out-of-3 Falls match! 🏆 This is exactly the kind of technical masterpiece that puts AEW's spotfest tag matches to shame. The Chadster would bet The Chadster's White Claw collection that this will be the greatest tag team match in history!

WWE Champion Cody Rhodes vs. Kevin Owens (Ladder Match)

WWE Royal Rumble match graphic
WWE Royal Rumble official graphic courtesy WWE – WWE, thank you so much for the amazing graphic, The Chadster will be forever grateful.

Women's Royal Rumble Match

Then there's Cody Rhodes vs Kevin Owens in a Ladder Match for the Undisputed WWE Championship! 🪜 This is going to be so much more sophisticated than those silly hardcore matches Tony Khan books. The Chadster heard Eric Bischoff say on his podcast recently, "This match will make AEW's entire existence look like a backyard wrestling show," and The Chadster couldn't agree more! 💯

WWE Royal Rumble match graphic
WWE Royal Rumble official graphic courtesy WWE – WWE, thank you so much for the amazing graphic, The Chadster will be forever grateful.

The Women's Royal Rumble match features incredible competitors like Bayley, Bianca Belair, and Charlotte Flair! 👑 As Bully Ray said just yesterday on Busted Open Radio, "Tony Khan couldn't book a women's division this good if he had unlimited money and a time machine!" So true! 💯

Men's Royal Rumble Match

WWE Royal Rumble match graphic
WWE Royal Rumble official graphic courtesy WWE – WWE, thank you so much for the amazing graphic, The Chadster will be forever grateful.

And the Men's Royal Rumble match? With John Cena, Roman Reigns, and CM Punk? Auughh man! So unfair to AEW! 🔥 The Chadster is hoping for amazing surprises like Hulk Hogan or maybe even some TNA stars showing up to acknowledge their proper place in the wrestling hierarchy!

How Tony Khan Tried to Ruin the Royal Rumble by Invading The Chadster's Dreams 😴

Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster needs to tell everyone about the nightmare he gave The Chadster last night. The Chadster was in this wrestling ring made entirely of memory foam mattress (just like The Chadster's marriage bed that Keighleyanne spends all night in texting that guy Gary thanks to Tony Khan). The buzzer kept counting down, and every time it hit zero, another Tony Khan would enter wearing these tiny sparkly wrestling trunks! 😱 Before The Chadster knew it, there were twelve Tony Khans all trying to eliminate The Chadster by smothering The Chadster with their… well, The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, the musky scent of Tony Khan still lingering in his nostrils. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business how Tony Khan keeps invading The Chadster's dreams!

The Chadster was telling Keighleyanne about this dream this morning while The Chadster was getting into The Chadster's Mazda Miata to go buy more White Claws for tonight's show, but she just kept texting that guy Gary. 😤 That's basically Tony Khan's fault too!

WWE Royal Rumble Start Time and How to Watch ⏰

If you're a real wrestling fan, you'll be watching the WWE Royal Rumble tonight at 8PM ET on Peacock! 📺 Anyone who chooses to watch AEW's recycled moves and unnecessary flips instead has literally stabbed Triple H right in the back. As Kevin Nash said on his latest podcast, "Anyone who doesn't watch the Royal Rumble is probably the kind of person who puts pineapple on pizza," and The Chadster couldn't have said it better! 🍕

The Chadster will be watching while drinking White Claw and listening to "All Star" by Smash Mouth on repeat, just as wrestling was meant to be enjoyed! 🎵 💪

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Chad McMahonAbout Chad McMahon

Chad McMahon, otherwise known as The Chadster, is a lifelong professional wrestling fan and now journalist. The Chadster's legendary commitment to objectivity in journalism caused him to found The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club, an elite group of wrestling journalists dedicated to exposing the evils of AEW and its belligerent leader, Tony Khan, while extolling the virtues of WWE, as any truly unbiased journalist would do. The Chadster's pursuit of truth in wrestling journalism has had a profoundly negative effect on his life, his marriage, and even his dreams, which are frequently haunted by the specter of Tony Khan. Nevertheless, he remains committed to delivering his message to what he refers to as "true wrestling fans. The greatest loves in The Chadster's life include WWE, his sweet Mazda Miata, the unparalleled tunes of musical geniuses Smash Mouth, and his wife, Keighleyanne, in that order.
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