Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, wwe smackdown

WWE SmackDown Preview: Knight vs Gunther for Cena's Last Match

El Presidente previews tonight's WWE SmackDown! Knight vs Gunther for Cena's final match, Survivor Series fallout, and Wyatt Sicks spookiness! 8PM on USA!

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my luxury bunker beneath the Palace of the Revolution, where I am currently hiding from both the CIA and my personal trainer who insists I stop eating empanadas while watching wrestling. But nothing—NOTHING—can keep me from bringing you the most important news (or WWE SmackDown previews) in all of sports entertainment!

Tonight, WWE SmackDown airs at 8PM Eastern on USA Network, and comrades, this is not just any episode. This is the kind of episode that makes even a hardened dictator like myself weep tears of joy into my commemorative John Cena foam finger! You see, we have the FINAL match of the Last Time is Now tournament, where LA Knight will face the absolutely terrifying Gunther to determine who will have the honor—nay, the PRIVILEGE—of facing John Cena in his final match ever at Saturday Night's Main Event later this month.

Comrades, if there is one thing I have learned from my various battles with the CIA, it's this: never underestimate the underdog. However, in this case, Gunther is heavily favored to win, and honestly, who can blame the oddsmakers? The man chops harder than my finance minister cuts social programs to redirect the funds to my palace luxuries budget! Gunther has been an unstoppable force, much like my own rise to power, except with more ring generalship and fewer midnight coups.

That said, LA Knight has the charisma of a thousand revolutionaries! I once spoke to my good friend Kim Jong-un about LA Knight during our monthly karaoke night, and even he admitted the man knows how to work a crowd. Will Knight pull off the upset? Or will Gunther march to Saturday Night's Main Event to face Cena in what promises to be a legendary encounter? Tune in tonight to find out!

But wait, there's more! Could we learn more about the mysterious masked man who interfered in the men's WarGames match at Survivor Series? The one who helped The Vision, Drew McIntyre, Logan Paul, and Brock Lesnar defeat the team of Cody Rhodes, CM Punk, Roman Reigns, and The Usos? Comrades, this mystery is more intriguing than the time the CIA tried to replace my chef with one of their agents (I noticed immediately because the new guy's arroz con pollo was TERRIBLE).

Speaking of Rhodes, what is next for our WWE Champion? And what about McIntyre, who is currently "suspended"? Comrades, we all know what suspended means in wrestling—it means he's about to show up at the most dramatic moment possible! It's like when I suspend my political rivals, except instead of returning a few weeks later, they're never seen again.

Tonight we may also see the continuation of the brewing feud between WWE Women's Champion Jade Cargill and United States Champion Chelsea Green. Ah, comrades, this reminds me of the time I feuded with my neighboring dictator over who had the better state-sponsored television programming. But I digress! These two competitors are absolute powerhouses, and their rivalry has all the makings of something special. Could we see a champion vs. champion match in Saudi Arabia next month? Or even sooner?

And we cannot forget about Solo Sikoa and the MFTs, who secured victory in the traditional Survivor Series match on last week's SmackDown, only to be attacked post-match by the returning Wyatt Sicks faction! Comrades, this faction is spookier than my secret police showing up at your door at at 3AM! What havoc will they wreak tonight?

Plus, we must look ahead to the Royal Rumble in Saudi Arabia next month! The road to WrestleMania begins there, and the pieces are already being set on the chessboard. I should know—I once played chess with Fidel Castro, and he taught me that you must always think several moves ahead. Also, he taught me never to trust anyone who brings their own pieces to the game, but that's another story.

So comrades, set your viewing devices to USA Network at 8PM Eastern tonight for WWE SmackDown! It will be more entertaining than my state-run television network (though please don't tell my Minister of Propaganda I said that—he's very sensitive).

¡Viva la revolución! ¡Viva la lucha libre!

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