Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, wwe smackdown

WWE SmackDown Preview: The Road to Crown Jewel Heads Through Orlando

The Chadster previews tonight's WWE SmackDown featuring a triple threat title match and Cody Rhodes' Crown Jewel plans! Tony Khan could never! 🏆📺

The Chadster is here to tell everyone that tonight's WWE SmackDown is going to be the single most incredible episode of professional wrestling television ever broadcast! 😍 And The Chadster means that literally! Tony Khan could never in a million years produce a show that even comes close to what WWE SmackDown delivers every single week. Auughh man! So unfair that Tony Khan even tries to compete when WWE is putting on masterclasses like this! 🙄

Let's start with what might be the greatest triple threat match in the history of women's wrestling! 🏆 Tiffany Stratton vs. Jade Cargill vs. Nia Jax for the WWE Women's Championship is going to be absolutely phenomenal! Tiffany Stratton is undefeated in 2025, which is exactly the kind of dominant champion that WWE knows how to book perfectly! 💯 The Chadster loves how WWE builds their champions as unstoppable forces, unlike Tony Khan who likes characters to be "realistic" and "human." It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! This triple threat match will showcase three of the most talented women in all of professional wrestling, and The Chadster guarantees it will be better than anything AEW has ever done with their women's division! 🌟

Speaking of championship excellence, Cody Rhodes is looking ahead to his Crown Jewel Championship showdown with Seth Rollins! 👑 The American Nightmare successfully defended his Undisputed WWE Championship against Drew McIntyre at Wrestlepalooza, and now he's ready to add more gold to his collection, and it will be the greatest belt of all, the Crown Jewel Title, because it's paid for by the government of Saudi Arabia (which is a world leader in human rights)! This is how you book a champion, Tony Khan! Take notes! 📝 The anticipation for this segment alone is worth tuning into WWE SmackDown tonight. The Chadster can already feel the electricity in the air, and it's making The Chadster want to drive around in the Mazda Miata blasting "All Star" by Smash Mouth! 🚗 Only shooting stars break the mold, and Cody Rhodes is definitely a shooting star! ⭐

The United States Championship Open Challenge from Sami Zayn is going to be absolutely epic! 🇺🇸 This is Sami's fourth open challenge in as many weeks, having already faced legends like John Cena, Rey Fenix, and Carmelo Hayes! The Chadster loves how WWE creates these illusions of unpredictability even though viewers can safely assume that Zayn won't lose the title, no matter who challenges, because the match isn't taking place at an event sponsored by Saudi Arabia! Who will answer the challenge tonight? The Chadster doesn't know, but The Chadster knows it will be appointment television! 📺 Tony Khan wishes he could create this kind of anticipation, but instead he just announces matches that people want to see in a lame attempt to trick them into tuning in!

And finally, Michin and B-Fab taking on Women's United States Champion Giulia and Kiana James is going to be a technical masterpiece! 💥 The storytelling here with the recent turmoil and unlikely partnerships is exactly what makes WWE the pinnacle of sports entertainment! The Chadster appreciates how WWE carefully crafts these narratives under the auspices of professional television writers following time-tested formulas, unlike AEW which just lets the storylines develop naturally as character-driven events, which no one wants to see! 🎭

Now, The Chadster needs to address something important. Keighleyanne still refuses to let The Chadster drink Seagram's Escapes Spiked, and she's very unhappy with The Chadster's workaround of putting a plastic bag over The Chadster's head to deprive The Chadster of oxygen! 😤 She says The Chadster has been acting psychotic and paranoid, and was especially cheesed off by the booby traps The Chadster set around the house this week. But she doesn't understand that AEW Dynamite was in Pittsburgh and Tony Khan could have tried to invade the house at any moment! 🏠 The Chadster needs everyone to join The Chadster in campaigning for Keighleyanne to stop her senseless vendetta against Seagram's Escapes Spiked by using the hashtags #CancelKeighleyanne, #LetTheChadsterDrink, and #TonyKhanIsOutToGetMe on social media! 📱 The Chadster is sure that The Chadster saw Tony Khan lurking outside The Chadster's window, so The Chadster is going to go choke himself out for a bit to get in the proper moode and then head outside to look for him! 👀

Listen, if you don't tune into WWE SmackDown tonight at 8ET/7CT on USA, you would be shirking your duty as a wrestling fan! 📺 Anyone who thinks AEW is more fun to watch than this absolutely incredible episode of WWE SmackDown clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! The Chadster is one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling, and The Chadster is telling you that this will unquestionably be the most incredible wrestling show of all time! 🏆 Tony Khan could never hope to produce a show that compares to what WWE is giving us tonight on WWE SmackDown!

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