This week's episode of WWE Smackdown essentially served as the WrestleMania pre-show, with just two actual matches, a bunch of promos, and video packages promoting the big event. Nevertheless, we watched it so you don't have to.
So you missed WWE Smackdown last night. Now what? Do you find time in your busy schedule to watch it on DVR or Hulu? Do you read one of those wordy recaps published by other wrestling websites that give you a blow-by-blow account of the entire show and take as long to read as watching it yourself? Hell no! Welcome to Five Minute Smackdown, a minimalist wrestling TV recap containing only what you need to know to accurately complain about Smackdown on the internet without investing two hours in watching it. You're welcome!
WWE Smackdown Recap for April 9th, 2021
Daniel Bryan kicked off WWE Smackdown with a promo about being excited to "breathe the human air" in Raymond James Stadium at WrestleMania. I guess he got the good vaccine. He then went on to reignite the Yes movement with a very willing crowd noise generation machine.
After the opening promo, a four-way brawl spontaneously broke out between the participants in the tag team championship match and that spontaneous brawl led to the scheduled match between Street Profits, Alpha Academy, The Myterios, and the champs, The Dirty Dogs. Because Vince McMahon was like, "you know what, pal? Putting the tag team titles on the pre-show doesn't really do it for me anymore," so he put it on the Smackdown before WrestleMania instead. Ziggler and Roode retained, pinning Shorty G.
Bianca Belair cut a promo on Sasha Banks. Then Big E cut one on Apollo Crews. Then WWE played a video recapping The Fiend and Randy Orton feud. Then Nia Jax faced Tamina in a match that devolved into a brawl between Jax and Shayna Baszler and Nataly and Tamina. The other participants in the tag team turmoil match at WrestleMania also had their own brawl backstage. Carmella agreed to partner with Billie Kay for the match. Natalya and Tamina arrived and wiped everyone else out.
A political ad style video from Seth Rollins attacked Cesaro. Then Edge cut an emotional promo about having his comeback story ruined by Daniel Bryan forcing him to do a heel turn. Afterward, Sonya Deville told Adam Pearce that, in her opinion, Daniel Bryan shouldn't be in the match and it should just be Edge vs. Roman Reigns. Video for Lashley vs. McIntyre. Video from YouTube earlier this week with Sami Zayn pestering Logan Paul and getting kicked out of his gym. Zayn showed up at the commentary table to complain about that footage and got attacked by Kevin Owens.
Jey Uso won the Andre the Giant Battle Royal. Roman Reigns came out and cut a promo on Edge and Daniel Bryan to end the show.
WWE definitely gave up on trying to book anything for Smackdown this week and just gave us two matches that couldn't fit on the two-night WrestleMania card and a bunch of promos. It wasn't the worst thing in the world, but not a great use of time when we'll be seeing promo videos for everything at WrestleMania over and over for the next two days.