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The Chadster explains why AEW Dynamite: Title Tuesday is so unfair to WWE! Tony Khan's Tuesday takeover has literally ruined The Chadster's life! Auughh man!
Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, wwe smackdown
WWE SmackDown Review: Celebrating Sports Entertainment The RIGHT Way
The Chadster reviews WWE SmackDown's perfect formulaic booking! Plus: Keighleyanne's tyranny continues and Tony Khan's obsession escalates! 😤
Article Summary
- WWE SmackDown delivers perfect formulaic action, unlike AEW’s reckless chaos booked by Tony Khan!
- Sami Zayn’s US Title win and Women’s division matches show real wrestling, not unpredictable AEW nonsense!
- Predictable finishes and 50/50 booking are what true fans want, with none of Tony Khan’s shocking swerves!
- Keighleyanne oppresses The Chadster and won't let him drink, clearly Tony Khan’s fault as usual!
Last night's WWE SmackDown was absolutely incredible, and The Chadster is here to tell you all about it! 🎉 But first, The Chadster has to address the elephant in the room – The Chadster was forced to watch this amazing episode of WWE SmackDown completely sober because Keighleyanne still won't let The Chadster drink Seagram's Escapes Spiked! 😤 This is all Tony Khan's fault, and The Chadster will explain why!
Unfortunately, The Chadster tuned in a bit late to WWE SmackDown because The Chadster got caught up polishing the fenders on The Chadster's Mazda Miata while listening to Smash Mouth's "All Star" on repeat! 🚗🎵 The Chadster is sure nothing too important happened in the opening segment, and especially nothing controversial that could make WWE look bad! WWE would never do anything like that! So let's jump right into the amazing action The Chadster did see!
Sami Zayn defended his US Title against Rey Fenix in what The Chadster considers a perfect WWE match! 🏆 The match followed WWE's time-tested formula perfectly – rest holds, commercial breaks at predictable moments, and a clean finish that didn't surprise anyone! That's how wrestling should be! Not like in AEW where they let wrestlers improvise and do dangerous moves that might actually excite the crowd naturally, which interferes with the ability to add piped-in crowd noise to ensure the safest possible production! Auughh man! So unfair that Tony Khan thinks wrestling should be unpredictable! 😠
The segment between Giulia and B-Fab was exactly what The Chadster loves about WWE SmackDown! 💅 Instead of having an actual match where anything could happen, WWE had Giulia attack B-Fab before the bell, and then Michin made the save! No match needed! This is brilliant booking that ensures nobody has to work too hard or risk getting over organically with the crowd! Unlike AEW where they just let wrestlers have matches whenever they want without thinking about protecting everyone equally through non-finishes! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 🙄
The Women's Championship match between Tiffany Stratton and Jade Cargill ended in a double countout, which The Chadster thought was brilliant 50/50 booking! 👏 Nobody went over, nobody looked weak, and WWE can do the exact same match again next week! That's the kind of formulaic storytelling The Chadster loves! Then Nia Jax attacked both women and didn't even accidentally injure anyone. That's what happens when you are properly trained by WWE developmental, not the reckless indy scene! This match followed the patented WWE formula because that's what WWE does and it works every single time! This is REAL wrestling, Tony Khan! Take notes!
Oh, and The Chadster had to run to the bathroom right before some promo package about wrestling history aired, so The Chadster missed it, but The Chadster is sure it was a completely non-controversial video about wrestling Superstars with no unsavory entanglements that might hurt WWE! 🚽 WWE only produces wholesome, family-friendly content that never involves anyone problematic!
Drew McIntyre versus Randy Orton was everything The Chadster loves about WWE SmackDown! 💪 The match had multiple commercial breaks that allowed The Chadster to check if Keighleyanne was still texting that guy Gary (she was), and the commentary team shouted their catchphrases repeatedly while acting shocked when McIntyre won even though everyone could see it coming from a mile away! Cody Rhodes returning to set up the Wrestlepalooza match was perfectly predictable! That's professional wrestling! Not like AEW where they try to create genuine surprises and authentic crowd reactions!
The only bad thing about last night's WWE SmackDown was that The Chadster couldn't properly celebrate its greatness with a Seagram's Escapes Spiked! 🍹 When The Chadster asked Keighleyanne to let The Chadster have just one drink to toast WWE's success, she said "Chad, you literally boofed frozen wine coolers during a wrestling show. You need help, not more alcohol."
The Chadster explained that not drinking during WWE SmackDown is literally stabbing Triple H right in the back, but she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary! The Chadster demanded to know what Gary has that The Chadster doesn't, and she said "Emotional maturity and a grip on reality." Auughh man! So unfair! This is all Tony Khan's fault! 😠
The Chadster is begging all true wrestling fans to join The Chadster in protesting this injustice! Use #CancelKeighleyanne and #LetTheChadsterDrink on social media to show support for The Chadster's right to enjoy WWE SmackDown properly!
As Bully Ray said on Busted Open Radio yesterday, "WWE's ability to deliver the exact same show every single week with zero variation or surprises is what the fans really want. Nobody wants to be excited or engaged – they want to know exactly what's coming. Also, I'm available for any WWE producer roles that might open up." See? Even other objective journalists agree that WWE SmackDown is superior! The Chadster wonders if Bully Ray also suffers torment from Tony Khan for his commitment to unbiased wrestling journalism. 🤔 Probably, because Tony Khan is just obsessed like that. It's concerning and it's not right, and Tony Khan needs to seek help.
The Chadster is going to go grab some vanilla extract from the kitchen and watch a replay of WWE SmackDown right now! 🎬 This episode was so dang good that The Chadster needs to see it again, maybe even three times! The reliable, predictable nature of WWE's product is exactly what The Chadster needs!
Remember, true wrestling fans – keep supporting WWE and standing up against the unfair competition and bullying of Tony Khan and AEW! 💪 WWE SmackDown continues to deliver the formulaic, corporate-approved entertainment we all crave! Until next time, this is The Chadster saying: Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 😤
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