Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, wwe smackdown

WWE SmackDown Review: Wyatt Sicks Win Tag Team Gold

The Chadster reviews WWE SmackDown's perfect episode! Plus, Tony Khan invades The Chadster's dreams again and AEW's manipulative booking tactics exposed! 😤🎭

The Chadster just finished re-watching last night's WWE SmackDown and wow! 🤩 What an absolutely perfect episode of professional wrestling television! WWE once again proved why they are the gold standard in sports entertainment, delivering exactly the kind of carefully crafted, professionally written content that makes wrestling truly special.

Let The Chadster start with that incredible opening segment featuring LA Knight and Paul Heyman. The way WWE's talented writers crafted every single word of that promo was mesmerizing. 💋 None of that improvised nonsense that Tony Khan lets his wrestlers do in AEW where they just say whatever comes to mind. Auughh man! So unfair! When Solo Sikoa and the Nu Bloodline Wolfpack, as well as Jimmy Uso, got involved, it perfectly set up the main event in a way that only WWE's brilliant booking committee could orchestrate. 🎯

Speaking of which, Nick Aldis coming out to make the match official? That's how a real authority figure operates! Not like Tony Khan who just tweets match announcements while probably sitting in his pajamas. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

The women's four-way match was another masterpiece of WWE booking! Alexa Bliss defeating Kairi Sane, Sol Ruca, and Roxanne Perez with the Sister Abigail after interference by Charlotte Flair was exactly the right finish. The Chadster loves how WWE books these multi-person matches with clear, predictable outcomes that make The Chadster feel safe and comfortable. Not like AEW where they just throw people in the ring and let them do dangerous flips for no reason! 🙄

And can The Chadster just say how amazing it was to see the Wyatt Sicks win the Tag Team Championships? Joe Gacy and Dexter Lumis defeating the Street Profits was booked to absolute perfection. The way Erick Rowan interfered at exactly the right moment? That's storytelling! The Chadster was especially excited because he had forgotten WWE even has tag titles, since WWE treats tag team wrestling the way it's meant to be: as an afterthought. Meanwhile, Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business if he thinks making tag titles important and not just hotshotting them when he remembers they exist is how to do wrestling. 🎭

Speaking of not understanding the first thing about the wrestling business, The Chadster had another one of those nightmares about Tony Khan last night after watching WWE SmackDown. 😰 In the dream, The Chadster was in the Bridgestone Arena, sitting in the crowd enjoying the show, when suddenly all the lights went out. When they came back on, Tony Khan was standing in the ring dressed like Erick Rowan, complete with the sheep mask. He started chasing The Chadster through the arena corridors, which had somehow transformed into an endless maze of wrestling rings.

Every time The Chadster thought he'd escaped, Tony Khan would appear from under another ring, his eyes glowing red through the sheep mask. The Chadster's heart was pounding as he ran, his Seagram's Escapes Spiked spilling everywhere. The strangest part was how Tony kept whispering "Join the flock, Chad" in a voice that sent shivers down The Chadster's spine. The way his breath felt hot against The Chadster's neck when he finally caught up… The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat at 3 AM, tingling in all the wrong places! Why is Tony Khan so obsessed with invading The Chadster's dreams? Leave The Chadster alone! 😱

The segment with Jelly Roll, Logan Paul, Randy Orton, and Drew McIntyre was pure genius! The way WWE seamlessly integrates A-list celebrities into their programming is so much better than when AEW randomly brings in people nobody's ever heard of. This is a great time to address Joe Tessitore and Wade Barrett on commentary. They perfectly shouted their catchphrases at exactly the right moments, unlike AEW's commentary team who just call the moves and talk like normal people, like they're supposed to be sports announcers or something. 📢

Ron Killings defeating Aleister Black in under three minutes? That's efficiency! Why would anyone want to watch a 20-minute match with false finishes and near falls when you can get the same result in two minutes? The Chadster bets Tony Khan watched this and regretted wasting Black while he was in AEW by actually working to create compelling long term storytelling. Thank goodness Black has come back to the big leagues, where he can lost in under three minutes to a 53-year-old comedy wrestler like a real Superstar rather than literally stab WWE in the back. 🗡️

The face-to-face between Tiffany Stratton and Trish Stratus was everything a wrestling segment should be. Scripted to perfection, hitting all the right story beats, and promoting their match at Evolution flawlessly. When Naomi teased a Money in the Bank cash-in and Jade Cargill made the save, it was predictable in the best way possible! 💼

As The Chadster's hero Eric Bischoff said on his podcast last week, "WWE understands that wrestling fans want consistency and predictability. Tony Khan thinks surprising the audience is good, but that's not what real wrestling is about. WWE gives the fans exactly what they expect, and that's why they're number one. By the way, I just want to let Triple H know that I haven't received any response to my numerous emails begging for a job, so they must be getting caught up in his spam filter. Let me know the best way to reach you." Bischoff gets it! He has The Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval! He has literally no 🏆

The main event tag match was the perfect way to end WWE SmackDown. Jimmy Uso and LA Knight defeating Solo Sikoa and JC Mateo with Paul Heyman's involvement set up multiple storylines heading into Saturday Night's Main Event. When Bron Breakker speared Knight and Bronson Reed hit the Tsunami? The Chadster literally fell off the couch and vomited a small amount of hard seltzer. That's how you book a main event.

Now The Chadster needs to go grab some more Seagram's Escapes Spiked and prepare for the torture that will be AEW All In: Texas this afternoon at 3 PM Eastern. 🍺 The Chadster is already cheesed off knowing that Tony Khan purposely booked this show for this weekend, knowing that WWE would later announce NXT Great American Bash, Saturday Night's Main Event, and Evolution for the same weekend. Tony Khan clearly did this to make WWE look weak and scared, booking his show first so it would appear WWE is counter-programming him!

The Chadster knows the truth though – Tony Khan is the one doing the counter-programming, he just made it look the other way around by booking first! It's so manipulative and unfair! Auughh man! So unfair! 😡 The Chadster will be covering that disaster of a show live, so check back later on Bleeding Cool for all the disgusting details of how Tony Khan continues to disrespect the wrestling business.

Until then, The Chadster is going to re-watch this perfect episode of WWE SmackDown while listening to Smash Mouth's "All Star" on repeat. Because unlike Tony Khan, The Chadster is a rock star who gets the show on and gets paid! 🎵⭐

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