So many comics, so little time! And we start with Sex Criminals #3. A great little issue, and I spoil one really cool bit of it here. But you know how I sometimes like to juxtaposition one panel from comic with another? No, you do, you really do. Well how about I just get that out of my system by following Sex Criminals #3 with Cataclysm: The Ultimates?
There, I think I've got that out of my system. From sex to death…
And this is why I want Bruce Willis to play the Savage Dragon. Can't you just hear him speak those lines, turn his head like that. As for the preacher, well the kid who played Ron Weasley must be all grown up now… and yes there's quite a bit of religion here too.
Eternal Warrior knows how to sort them out at least. If you can believe in it, you can kill it, apparently. Belief can be a dangerous thing.
Exactly, courtesy of Batman And Two Face.
Obviously, it's Adventure Time. It's comics Wednesday isn't it? Always time for an adventure.
From Daredevil, it appears the Sons Of The Serpent ordered their copy of The Darkhold from Amazon.com. Look, it still has the logo.
Don't make my angry, Indestructible Hulk, you wouldn't like it when I'm… actually I'm fine! Everything's okay! Who's for a beer? So if the Bruce isn't hulking out… who is?
From Forever Evil: Rogues' Rebellion, yeah, don't make pop culture references to a guy on another Earth, they probably don't even have Breaking Bad over there, you'll just confuse the guy.
You remember, Bryan O'Malley did a variant cover for the first issue of Young Avengers, right? Totally suck ups, Kieron and Jamie… talking of Scott Pilgrim…
Swipe file material from A+X perhaps?
Shaggy gets all metatextual in Scooby Doo Team Up #1, accosting Man Bat.
Although I'd like to have seen him try the same thing in Red Hood And The Outlaws in their Zero Year crossover. I don't think Shaggy would have lasted that long trying to take off a certain someone's bandages…
Seriously now Bloodshot & Hard Corps, that's just showing off. It's not big and it's not clever. A little like swearing.
And The Wake, honestly, get a mature readers label on the cover and you think you can just take liberties.
There you go Batwoman, proof if you needed it, that superheroes just go looking for trouble. They probably cause all the very problems that they then try to save us from. Who's with me on this?
But so does Imagine Agents #2. Heroes just don't get the respect they deserve no more.
Well, we're getting a mostly-black Avengers, why not a black Fantastic Four? Who seem to be in about as fit a state as the white Fantastic Four.
Adam Hughes gets meta-critiqued in Harley Quinn #0. To be fair, so do everyone. Especially Jim Lee, who only had the time to offer an already drawn page from a previous comic, to the mix.
Birds Of Prey goes Wildstorm in Zero Year. You know, I've been hearing more rumours of a new WildCATS after Jim Lee finishes Superman Unchained. I wonder how many DC characters will sneak their way into the lineup?
I'm sorry Pandora, but nothing is quite that funny.
Okay, Dejah Thoris seems to differ. Laughing in the face of death. And in the golden pasty tits of death as well, it seems.
What can't he do on a cruise ship, TMNT Animated folk? Well apparently you're not allowed to start a mutiny, take control of the vessel and then sail the seven seas in search of fortune. They disapprove of such things. I'm not the only one who is angry about that.
See? One of the blue ponies agrees with me.
I'm not so sure about the blue kitties in Samurai Jack though. Ninjas vs pirates, who'd win? There should be a comic about that. There was? Oh good. Saves me the bother.
Oh that's a compliment, courtesy of Ben 10. Hey mermaid, you've put on a few pounds. Hey mermaid, lay off the whelks. Hey mermaid… of is that a blubber whale? Terrible example for the kiddiwinks.
It's hard to take Optimus Prime seriously as a battle commander when he's in bright yellow, you know. I mean, compare to this…
Starbuck #1, giving us a dietary guide to the Battlestar Galactica universe. Take one blaster, dip in egg yolk, cover in tarragon and parsley and then lightly fry for around twelve minutes, making sure that the charge doesn't go off. Then serve with a white wine sauce, steamed green beans and a large mutant squid. Where can you get one of those?
I'm sure Hopeless Maine will be able to help you out. Not to hopeless now, eh? Although with such tentacle fanciers out and about, some people might want to stay inside.
Yeah, Fives from Regular Show, you stick to that explanation. But to go out, something intelligent, mature, sophisticated, that uses the comics medium to its fullest. Something that might hang in the Tate Modern…
Yeah, that will do. Thank you Bravest Warriors! And you have to be brave to go in toilets…
Zero #3 there. And what a well timed ending, as it nicely segues into today's credits and plugging…
Comics courtesy of Orbital Comics, London. With Ales Kot and Tom Murphy of Zero #3, out today, signing tonight. And Sean Murphy signing on Friday…