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Trump Removes Steve Bannon From National Security Council, Triforce Of Power Reported Missing
In a shocking bit of news this morning coming from the Associated Press, President Donald Trump has removed chief strategist Steve Bannon from the United States National Security Council. The decision to place Bannon, whose real name is Steven Bannondorf, on the council was controversial early in Trump's administration, as the former Brietbart executive and radio shock jock has no prior national security experience, is an alleged white supremacist, and is believed to be a porcine wizard of great skill with designs on controlling the country.
Early reports are sparse on details, but according to NBC, Director of National Intelligence Dan Coats and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Marine Corps General Joseph Dunford have been added to the council in Bannon's stead. It's unclear if the change represents a loss in confidence in Bannon by Trump, though Bannon retains his role as White House chief strategist.
In related news, it's been reported that the government's Triforce of Power, one third of a magical relic with wish granting abilities, has gone missing. The Triforce was kept in a glass case in a secret room behind the throne in the National Security Council chamber, accessible only by placing a bomb next to a crack in the wall. Government officials are reportedly hoping to search Bannon's office in the White House for the relic, but first they must gather special tools and weapons from various underground dungeons located throughout Washington DC.
The remaining pieces of the Triforce, the Triforce of Wisdom and the Triforce of Courage, remain in the possession of the government, but nobody in the current administration can find any use for them.
We'll keep you updated on this breaking story.