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Knox County Mayoral Candidate Glenn Jacobs Reflects On "Sick And Depraved" Acts

In a bizarre campaign stump speech delivered Monday Night at the Phillips Arena in Atlanta, Georgia,Knox County Mayoral Candidate Glenn Jacobs referred to himself as "sick and depraved" and graphically described his attempted murder of a rival, before engaging in a brawl later in the night that ended with unknown injuries for both of the men involved and thousands of dollars of property damage.

Knox County Mayoral Candidate Glenn Jacobs Reflects On "Sick And Depraved" Acts

"Even someone as sick and depraved as I am can smile," Jacobs told voters Monday, highlighting that the libertarian Republican can identify with his constituents in Knox County, Tennessee, as long as you don't count the fact that Jacobs still has all of his teeth. With a sadistic grin on his face, Jacobs recounted the night that he stuffed rival Braun Strowman into the back of a garbage truck and turned on the compactor, only one of the horrible crimes he's committed throughout his long pro wrestling and political career.

"All I have to do is remember what I did to Braun Strowman," Jacobs, who has been endorsed by Senator Rand Paul, admitted to a live audience and television cameras. "I can still remember the sound of that garbage truck crushing his body. A true symphony of horrors."

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"Tonight, I'm going to show Braun Strowman that there are worse things in life than death," Jacobs explained, perhaps referring to high taxes and big government, two important issues in Jacobs' mayoral campaign. "That's me."

Later that night, Jacobs squared off with Strowman in a violent brawl that ended when Strowman power slammed both men straight through the wood and canvas of the ring, causing untold structural damage. No plan was announced to pay for the damage, but WWE will likely pass on the cost to taxpayers and/or ticket buyers.

In May 2018, Jacobs will square off once again, this time in a triple threat primary match with fellow Republican candidates Bob Thomas and Jimmy "JJ" Jones. If Jacobs' battle with Strowman Monday night is any indication, the candidates are in for a real slobberknocker of an election fight.

At press time, a retired man with a brain injury, also a former partner of Jacobs', was expected to make his first public appearance Tuesday since being violently assaulted by Jacobs in a dark room two weeks ago.


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Jude TerrorAbout Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events. Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!
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