Knox County Mayoral Candidate Kane Commits Murder On Camera At WWE TLC Event

A candidate running for mayor of Knox County, Tennessee is shaping up to be the next Rob Ford. Glenn Jacobs, running as a libertarian Republican in next year's election, appeared at WWE's Tables, Ladders, and Chairs events last night, where he was captured on camera inflicting acts of violence on his opponents as well as attempted murder against his own teammate, Braun Strowman.

Jacobs, under his wrestling identity "Kane," was meant to team with Strowman, along with The Miz, Sheamus, and Cesaro to take on Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose, and Seth Rollins in a 3 vs 5 match at Sunday's event. However, due to illness, Reigns was replaced by former Olympic gold medalist Kurt Angle. During the match, Jacobs accidentally hit Strowman with a steel chair, but his teammates were able to diffuse the tension.

Later in the night, however, Jacobs attacked Strowman from behind after the brawl had moved to the top of the entrance ramp, and then he chokeslammed Strowman off the stage and pulled a pile of chairs suspended from the ceiling onto Strowman. When that wasn't enough to keep Strowman down, Jacobs and his teammates — Sheamus, an Irish national, and Cesaro, a Swiss national — stuffed Strowman into the back of a garbage truck and turned on the trash compactor, presumably killing Strowman, though WWE has not released an update on his condition.


It's unknown what Strowman did to enrage the mayoral candidate. Is Strowman a fan of big government and higher taxes? American politicians have long had a history intertwined with the sport of pro wrestling. Presidents from Abraham Lincoln to Donald Trump all had successful wrestling careers. However, this isn't the first time Jacobs has resorted to extreme, sadistic violence in the course of pursuing his love of athletic competition. Jacobs once lit WWE announcer Jim Ross on fire, and electrocuted the testicles of WWE executive Shane McMahon.

About Jude Terror

A prophecy says that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero will come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events.

Scourge of Rich Johnston, maker of puns, and seeker of the Snyder Cut, Jude Terror, sadly, is not the hero comics needs right now... but he's the one the industry deserves.

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