wrestling Archives

Everyone fighting everyone! It's like the weekly meetings of my Revolutionary Council, except with better choreography. Overall, this episode of Monday Night Raw built the hype for Survivor Series while delivering quality wrestling content The show balanced storyline progression with in-ring action, which is the secret formula to success I learned this same principle when balancing[...]

Brock Lesnar, one of the most superior athletes in all of professional wrestling, a man trained by the legendary WWE system for years, SLIPPED AND FELL ON HIS BEHIND at the top of the ramp during his entrance! 😱😱😱 He was coming out to join Paul Heyman to join his Survivor Series WarGames teammates Drew[...]

But even from his hospital bed, this glorious comrade found himself in the crosshairs of wrestling's grumpiest podcast grifter, Jim Cornette—a man so perpetually angry that he makes me look like the Dalai Lama And comrades, I once ordered the military to shell a radio station that played too much reggaeton during siesta time. Will Ospreay[...]

The bigger dog bit The Chadster's ankle, and The Chadster's pretty sure it's infected now, but The Chadster can't go to a hospital because that's exactly where Tony Khan's goons are waiting 🩹😰💉! The official logo for WWE Raw on Netflix But none of that matters, because tonight's episode of WWE Raw is going to be the[...]

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my underground bunker beneath the presidential palace, where I have been forced to take shelter after the CIA attempted to sabotage my viewing of AEW Full Gear by releasing a swarm of trained hornets through the ventilation system! They claimed it was[...]

They claimed it was "an accident," but comrades, pianos do not simply fall from helicopters by mistake! But let us discuss the glorious violence that unfolded at AEW Full Gear tonight, where Mark Briscoe has finally – FINALLY! – captured the AEW TNT Championship in what can only be described as an absolutely barbaric no[...]

But more on that later. First, let us discuss the glorious wrestling action that unfolded before us! FTR – that magnificent tag team of Cash Wheeler and Dax Harwood – have captured the AEW Men's World Tag Team Championship for an unprecedented third time, defeating the formidable team of Brodido (Bandido and Brody King) in what[...]

McDonagh hit a Spanish Fly, a moonsault, and even a Busaiku Knee, but Dragunov would not stay down! This reminds me of my legendary arm-wrestling match with Hugo Chávez, which lasted for six hours until we both agreed to call it a draw and share a plate of arepas instead. Dragunov eventually retained his title with[...]

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my luxurious presidential bunker where I have just finished installing a state-of-the-art satellite dish to ensure I never miss a moment of professional wrestling action Today, I bring you the complete viewing guide for tonight's AEW Full Gear pay-per-view extravaganza, as I[...]

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my luxury bunker beneath the presidential palace, where I have just finished watching my collection of classic wrestling matches on VHS tapes (the CIA cannot hack VHS, you see) Tonight, I bring you exciting news about WWE SmackDown, which airs at 8[...]

Side effects may include excessive wrestling talent and an inability to lose! PAC cut a promo challenging Darby Allin to a match at Full Gear with no weapons, just pure wrestling ability PAC claimed that without his "bells and whistles," Darby cannot compete with a legitimate athlete Comrades, this reminds me of when the CIA challenged[...]

But I digress! Tonight, we have a spectacular 3-hour wrestling extravaganza that even my good friend Kim Jong-un would interrupt his missile tests to watch – AEW Dynamite and Collision, back-to-back on TBS! AEW Dynamite and Collision preview/Credit:AEW Before we dive into tonight's card, comrades, I must update you on the condition of my colleague, Chad McMahon[...]

But enough about my day – I have some absolutely electrifying news for all you wrestling fans out there! The Undertaker makes a striking appearance on WWE NXT to put TNA in its place. According to our comrades over at Variety, WWE is launching a brand new YouTube channel dedicated entirely to The Undertaker, and it goes[...]

This is exactly the kind of propaganda – I mean, heartfelt sentiment – that makes professional wrestling so beautiful, comrades! However, Dominik Mysterio interrupted to demand his rematch, and I must say, the heat this young man generates reminds me of my own early days as a revolutionary The crowd despises him with the passion[...]

Apparently, he woke up at 4 AM screaming that Tony Khan had somehow infiltrated his IV drip with "AEW propaganda juice" and was attempting to brainwash him into appreciating wrestling that doesn't involve perfectly scripted promos and camera cuts every 0.7 seconds The nurses found him trying to escape through the air conditioning vent, claiming[...]

They never returned my calls! The main event All Star 8-Man Tag was chaos incarnate, comrades! Bandido, Juice Robinson, and JetSpeed (Speedball Mike Bailey and Kevin Knight) defeated FTR (Dax Harwood and Cash Wheeler) and LFI (Sammy Guevara and RUSH) in a match that had more twists than my offshore banking arrangements! Bandido hit the 21[...]

Ah, the paranoia of leadership! I wish The Chadster the very best in his continued recovery, and I sincerely hope that one day he can come to accept that multiple styles of wrestling can exist at the same time, much like how I have learned to accept that both baseball and cockfighting can coexist as legitimate[...]

Comrades, I must say this with all sincerity: it is okay for styles of wrestling that one does not prefer to exist! And more importantly, one should never, EVER boof flavored alcoholic beverages! I learned this lesson back in 2008 when Hugo Chávez and I attempted such foolishness, and we both ended up requiring medical[...]

Why, just last week, I was sharing stories with Kim Jong-un about extreme methods of enjoying professional wrestling, and even he said, "El Presidente, that seems excessive." Coming from a man who once claimed to have invented wrestling itself, that is saying something! I must confess, comrades, when I heard that The Chadster suffered a setback[...]

We were fighting over who had the better mustache grooming routine, and Saddam kept trying to use chemical weapons, which I felt was rather unsporting for a wrestling match But I digress! The match itself was absolute chaos, with all twelve women entering in sequence Mercedes Moné entered with her typical arrogance, bringing champagne and having[...]

They are always trying to silence those who speak the truth about professional wrestling! Now, comrades, let us discuss tonight's glorious spectacle of violence and mayhem! AEW Blood & Guts takes place tonight, November 12th, 2025, live from Greensboro, North Carolina, at 8 p.m ET/7 p.m CT on TBS and streaming on HBO Max This is[...]

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my luxurious golden bidet that was definitely not stolen from a museum, and I have some absolutely delicious wrestling gossip that is almost as satisfying as the time I convinced Fidel Castro that Vince McMahon was actually a CIA operative trying to[...]

WWE 2K25 has launched the fifth and final DLC pack for the game, as players can download the Saturday Night’s Main Event Pack

They say he keeps muttering something about "auughh man! So unfair!" in his sleep. This reminds me of the time I was sharing cigars with Muammar Gaddafi in his famous tent, and he told me about the importance of proper breathing techniques while watching professional wrestling "My dear El Presidente," he said, "the key to surviving[...]

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my luxurious panic room beneath the presidential palace, where I am currently getting ready for tonight's WWE Raw by watching my extensive collection of WWE pay-per-views on a television made entirely of seized gold bullion. The official logo for WWE Raw on Netflix Before[...]

"ProtOkada" has a nice ring to it, though not as nice as "El Presidente's Socialist Wrestling Federation," which I'm still trying to convince Tony Khan to rename AEW! TayJay demolished Maya World and Hyan faster than I can nationalize a foreign corporation! Now comrades, this match was originally supposed to feature Nixon Newell and Miranda Alize[...]

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my private viewing box at the Havana Palace of Revolutionary Wrestling Excellence, where I am nursing a mojito and contemplating the eternal question: when should a wrestler refuse to do the job? Ah yes, comrades, last night's AEW Collision taping has given[...]

The nurses tell me he has regained enough strength to complain about AEW and demand the addition of Seagram's Escapes Spiked in his IV, which is truly a positive sign! Get well soon, comrade Chad, though I must say, perhaps experimenting with autoerotic asphyxiation while watching WWE programming is taking one's dedication a bit too[...]

And believe me, comrades, when El Presidente's Minister of Finance suggests budget cuts to the state wrestling venue fund, things get VERY heated! What makes this match even more intriguing is that if Giulia successfully retains tonight, she will become the longest-reigning Women's United States Champion in history! This is the kind of record-breaking achievement that[...]

Well, comrades, strap in, because this story has taken a turn darker than the lighting at a Pentagon black site! Two days ago, on November 4th, Menzies took to social media once again to express his economic anxiety in a post that should make every wrestling fan's blood boil hotter than my legendary hot sauce collection[...]