Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision: Maximum Carnage Fails to Compare to WWE Superiority

The Chadster reports on how Tony Khan's latest attempt to cheese off The Chadster with AEW Collision: Maximum Carnage just proves he doesn't understand the wrestling business! 😤 💔

The Chadster has to report on yet another episode of AEW Collision: Maximum Carnage, and honestly, The Chadster can't even believe what Tony Khan is trying to pull here! 🤬 Before The Chadster gets into this travesty, The Chadster needs to share something disturbing that happened last night.

The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan. 😱 In this one, The Chadster was trapped in a Texas Death Match arena, and Tony Khan was chasing The Chadster with barbed wire while wearing nothing but a referee shirt and whispering "This is for the sickos" over and over. Every time The Chadster tried to escape, Tony Khan would hit a Panama Sunrise and then spray White Claw in The Chadster's face. The worst part? When The Chadster woke up screaming, Keighleyanne just rolled her eyes and kept texting that guy Gary, clearly under Tony Khan's nefarious influence! 😢

Speaking of Texas Death Matches, AEW Collision: Maximum Carnage opened with "Hangman" Adam Page vs. Christopher Daniels in exactly that match type, and auughh man! So unfair! 😤 The match was just blood and violence with no story psychology like you'd see in WWE. As Eric Bischoff said on his podcast last week, "These death matches are just Tony Khan trying to distract from his inability to book proper wrestling matches like WWE does." The Chadster couldn't agree more! 💯

Then we had Toni Storm cutting another one of her delusional promos that The Chadster just doesn't understand. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🙄 AEW shows are all storytelling and no wrestling, unlike in WWE.

The six-man tag match between the Undisputed Kingdom and Shane Taylor Promotions was just more spotfest wrestling that Kevin Nash perfectly described when he said on a recent episode of his podcast, "These AEW matches are like watching a circus with no ringmaster." See? The Chadster isn't the only one who sees through Tony Khan's shenanigans! 🎪

The match between The MurderMachines and Top Flight was just another example of Tony Khan trying to copy WWE's superior tag team division. 😤 Having Lio Rush attack afterward just shows how AEW doesn't understand proper storytelling like WWE does. As Mark Henry said on Busted Open Radio, "AEW tag teams are just doing moves without telling the story of who's the legal man." 🙄

Don't even get The Chadster started on The Acclaimed breakup segment. Max Caster and Anthony Bowens literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by doing an emotional breakup story that's trying to compete with WWE's superior storytelling. 😠

When Dustin Rhodes faced Adam Priest, The Chadster couldn't help but notice how Dustin has literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by competing in AEW. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😠

The women's match between Julia Hart and Harley Cameron was just more of Tony Khan trying to copy WWE's superior women's division. Auughh man! So unfair! The way they actually let the women be violent and aggressive instead of having proper WWE-style roll-up finishes just shows that Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 💁‍♀️

The worst part of watching AEW Collision: Maximum Carnage was when Kazuchika Okada used heel tactics to win his match. The Chadster was so upset, The Chadster threw The Chadster's White Claw seltzer at the TV! When The Chadster asked Keighleyanne to clean it up, she just said "Chad, you need therapy" and went back to texting that guy Gary. This is all Tony Khan's fault for booking matches that get The Chadster so worked up! 😭

The main event 12-man tag team match was just chaos, which is exactly what Bully Ray meant on Busted Open Radio last week when he said, "AEW matches are like trying to herd cats in a tornado while juggling White Claws." (The Chadster really relates to that White Claw reference! 🍹)

Bottom line: AEW Collision: Maximum Carnage was just another example of Tony Khan's personal vendetta against The Chadster. Every match and segment was clearly designed to cheese The Chadster off, from the violent opening match to the chaotic main event. Tony Khan just doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🚫

The Chadster would have driven The Chadster's Mazda Miata to Cincinnati to confront Tony Khan about this personally, but The Chadster knows that's exactly what Tony Khan wants. Instead, The Chadster will just quote Smash Mouth: "Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb." That's exactly what happens to anyone who watches AEW! 🎵

And that's the unbiased truth, because unlike other wrestling journalists, The Chadster tells it like it is! 💪

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