Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, wrestling

AEW Collision Preview: Tony Khan's Worst Show Ever… Or Maybe Not?

The Chadster previews tonight's AEW Collision while battling strange sober thoughts. Is Tony Khan using sobriety to mess with The Chadster's mind?! 😱

Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan has the audacity to put on another episode of AEW Collision tonight, continuing his personal vendetta against The Chadster. This could potentially be the worst wrestling show of all time, and The Chadster is here to warn everyone about what's coming on AEW Collision tonight at 8/7C on TNT and MAX.

But something strange is happening to The Chadster. 🤔 Ever since Keighleyanne banned The Chadster from drinking (and caught The Chadster boofing last weekend, forcing him to stop for real), The Chadster has been stone cold sober. Earlier this week, when The Bradster published his glowing review of AEW Dynamite, The Chadster found himself thinking… "well, he's entitled to his opinion." What?! 😱 Is the lack of Seagram's Escapes Spiked in The Chadster's bloodstream affecting The Chadster's ability to be a true, loyal WWE fan? The Chadster vows to get to the bottom of this, and Tony Khan is surely behind it!

Your Guide to Tonight's Live Coast-to-Coast Episode of AEW Collision

Let's start with the women's trios match on AEW Collision. "Timeless" Toni Storm, Mina Shirakawa, and Queen Aminata vs. Billie Starkz, Skye Blue, and Julia Hart? 🙄 This match will probably have way too much action and not enough rest holds for proper commercial breaks! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. WWE knows how to pace a match properly with plenty of time for Michael Cole to repeat catchphrases! But maybe… no, The Chadster must resist these strange thoughts!

Big Bill vs. Juice Robinson on AEW Collision is another example of Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster. 😤 This rivalry has been building with actual continuity and storytelling – how dare they?! WWE wisely resets feuds every few weeks to keep things fresh! As Eric Bischoff recently said on his podcast, "AEW needs to stop letting these storylines develop organically and start scripting everything word-for-word like the professionals at WWE do. That's real wrestling!" See? Even unbiased journalists like Bischoff understand! Though… is it possible different approaches can coexist? No! The Chadster must stay strong! 💪

The tag match featuring Kyle Fletcher and Josh Alexander vs. Tomohiro Ishii and Kyle O'Reilly on AEW Collision will probably be another workrate fest. 😩 These guys will likely have a hard-hitting match with unpredictable sequences that make viewers feel unsafe because they can't predict everything that's going to happen! WWE knows better – every match should follow the exact same formula so fans know what to expect! It's called consistency, Tony Khan!

Hologram vs. Jay Lethal on AEW Collision? More creative freedom allowing wrestlers to speak from the heart! 🤮 Don't they understand that wrestlers need producers telling them exactly what to say and do? That's how you create real stars! Unlike Tony Khan whose methods are literally RUINING THE CHADSTER'S LIFE!!! Although… The Chadster did sleep through the entire night last night with zero nightmares about Tony Khan. What is he playing at?! 😰

The Chadster tried to explain to Keighleyanne why AEW Collision is ruining wrestling. "Don't you see, honey? They're having important developments on regular TV instead of saving them for premium live events sponsored by the government of Saudi Arabia!" Keighleyanne just sighed and said, "Chad, maybe you should focus on why this bothers you so much instead of blaming Tony Khan for everything." Then she went back to texting that guy Gary! 📱 The Chadster was about to reply, but then he sort off… agreed with her? See what Tony Khan has done to The Chadster's marriage?!

FTR vs. Adam Priest and JD Drake will probably end with a decisive, clean finish that allows FTR to gain momentum with the audience. 😡 Where's the 50/50 booking to ensure "the brand" is the real star? WWE understands that no wrestler should ever look too strong! Tony Khan just doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! Then again, AEW has lasted this far, so maybe there is something to– no! The Chadster needs to stop falling for this!

And finally, Alex Windsor in action? The Chadster bets the commentary team will talk like real people instead of shouting catchphrases! 🙄 So unprofessional! Though… wait, why does The Chadster feel less angry about this than usual? Must be Tony Khan messing with The Chadster's mind through sobriety!

The Chadster Speaks Out: AEW Collision MUST Be Stopped

The Chadster wrote a sternly-worded complaint email to TNT this afternoon in hopes of preventing tonight's tragedy from ocurring:

Dear TNT Programming Department,

The Chadster demands you immediately cancel AEW Collision! This show features wrestlers having matches that excite crowds without proper supervision from a team of writers and producers! They allow talent to get over based on their in-ring work instead of carefully managed storylines! Some of these wrestlers even literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by leaving WWE!

Furthermore, The Chadster has been sober for a week and it's making The Chadster have confusing thoughts about wrestling! This is clearly Tony Khan's fault! Cancel this show before more people start thinking there's room for different wrestling philosophies!

Sincerely,
The Chadster
Objective Wrestling Journalist

How NOT to Watch AEW Collision Live Coast-to-Coast Tonight

Look, The Chadster is warning everyone: DO NOT tune into AEW Collision tonight at 8/7C on TNT and MAX! 🚫 It will only embolden Tony Khan to continue his reign of terror against The Chadster! Tony Khan could never hope to produce a show that compares to WWE… but maybe it's his business if he wants to try and it shouldn't affect The Chadster's enjoyment of the wrestling The Chadster prefers?

No! That can't be right! 😨 What is happening to The Chadster?! This sobriety is clearly another one of Tony Khan's schemes! The Chadster needs a Seagram's Escapes Spiked immediately! Or maybe… maybe The Chadster just needs to accept that… NO! Just don't watch AEW Collision tonight, okay? 😤 The Chadster can't handle any more of these confusing thoughts!

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!