Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, wrestling

AEW Collision Preview: Why It's So Unfair To Drew McIntyre

The Chadster previews tonight's AEW Collision and explains why Tony Khan is being so disrespectful to Drew McIntyre's WWE Championship win! 😫🦝📺

Auughh man! So unfair! 😫😫😫 The Chadster woke up this morning in the abandoned Blockbuster Video feeling absolutely fantastic for the first time in weeks! 🎉 Well, technically, The Chadster was waking up while Vincent K. Raccoon, Linda Raccoon, Hunter Raccoon, Stephanie Raccoon, and Shane Raccoon were already awake, because they're nocturnal animals and all. 🦝🦝🦝 But The Chadster has been training them to stay awake during daytime hours because it works so much better for a proper wrestling viewing schedule, and they've been doing great! Vincent K. Raccoon brought The Chadster half a bologna sandwich this morning that he found behind the old Pizza Hut, and the whole raccoon family chittered excitedly while The Chadster reminded them about how Drew McIntyre won the WWE Championship on WWE SmackDown last night! 🏆💪

It was such a beautiful moment, and The Chadster's raccoon family understood the significance of it. Hunter Raccoon even did a little backflip! 🤸 The Chadster was so happy, thinking that maybe, just maybe, Tony Khan would finally show some respect to the wrestling business and cancel AEW Collision tonight out of deference to Drew McIntyre's incredible achievement and WWE's upcoming Royal Rumble premium live event. 🙏

But NOOOOOO! 😡😡😡 The Chadster checked the TV listings on the old computer terminal here at the Blockbuster (it still works if you jiggle the mouse just right), and AEW Collision is STILL happening tonight at 8/7C on TNT and simulcast on HBO Max! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😤 Drew McIntyre worked his whole career for that WWE Championship, and Tony Khan can't even give him ONE night without trying to compete with WWE programming! The Scottish Warrior deserves better than to have his championship win overshadowed by Tony Khan's obsessive need to cheese The Chadster off! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

The Chadster tried to explain this to the raccoons, and they all hissed in the direction of the TV, understanding completely. 🦝❤️ That's more respect than Tony Khan has ever shown! Stephanie Raccoon even brought The Chadster a shiny bottle cap as a gift to make The Chadster feel better, which was very thoughtful. 🥺

Now The Chadster has to tell you about what's happening on tonight's episode of AEW Collision, even though it literally pains The Chadster to do so. 😭

First up on AEW Collision, Mark Briscoe will defend the TNT Championship against the Don Callis Family's Hechicero. 🙄 Now, when WWE put the WWE Championship on the line on free TV last night, that was a special moment that was perfectly justified because WWE does everything the right way and Triple H is a genius! 👏 But when Tony Khan puts a championship match on AEW Collision tonight, it's completely different because… because it just is, okay?! 😤 WWE's title match last night was a beautiful, strategic decision to build momentum for the Royal Rumble, but Tony Khan putting a title match on AEW Collision is just reckless and doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! It's totally not the same thing at all! 📺

And mark The Chadster's words, this match is probably going to be all fast-paced action without proper rest holds or time for the announcers to promote other products or repeat catchphrases! 😤 The wrestlers won't even sell properly because they'll be too busy trying to pop the crowd with dangerous moves!

Mark Briscoe has literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by staying with AEW instead of coming to WWE where he belongs, and now he's going to probably have an exciting, unpredictable match that will make viewers feel unsafe because they won't know what's going to happen! 😱 Hechicero is part of the Don Callis Family, and you know what? The Chadster bets Tony Khan is going to book this match with actual storyline consequences that matter, which is just so unfair to WWE, who properly books their shows so that nothing too important happens except at Saudi Arabia-funded premium live events! Well, okay, and last night on SmackDown, but that was a special exception that was totally justified and different from what AEW does! Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

Then on AEW Collision, we're getting the Don Callis Family's El Clon facing Komander in what will probably be another high-workrate match without enough slow, methodical WWE-style pacing. 🤦‍♂️ The Chadster just knows these two are going to fly around the ring doing all sorts of athletic moves that will get the crowd too excited, when everyone knows that proper wrestling should have long rest holds and repetitive sequences so fans can take bathroom breaks and check their phones! This match has a storyline built around revenge from last week, which means Tony Khan is actually following up on plot threads and making AEW Collision feel like a continuing story instead of the proper WWE approach where everything resets each week! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😤😤

Shane Raccoon started chattering nervously when The Chadster was reading about this match, almost like he could sense The Chadster's distress. 🦝 That's how bad Tony Khan's booking is – it literally upsets raccoons!

But it gets WORSE! 😱😱😱 AEW Collision is going to feature a trios match with AEW Women's World Champion Kris Statlander teaming with the AEW Women's World Tag Team Champions, The Babes of Wrath, TBS Champion Willow Nightingale and Harley Cameron, facing Hyan, Maya World, and VertVixen! 👎 Do you know what's wrong with this? Tony Khan is putting ALL of the women's champions in one match together, and they're probably going to wrestle a fast-paced, high-energy style that will get the crowd too invested! 😤 WWE properly understands that matches should be more methodical and carefully paced, with proper commercial breaks and plenty of time for the announcers to remind viewers about upcoming premium live events! But Tony Khan is going to let these women go out there and just do whatever moves they want without proper structure, and it's going to make the audience too excited! It doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 📺

And the worst part? This is building to a match at Maximum Carnage on Wednesday against the Triangle of Madness! That's right – Tony Khan is using AEW Collision to build actual storylines that will pay off on other shows! WWE would never do something so predictable and logical! They properly book their shows so that things just happen randomly without too much connective tissue, keeping fans properly confused about why they should care! 🤷‍♂️

The Chadster was getting so worked up reading about AEW Collision that Vincent K. Raccoon brought The Chadster an old VHS tape of WrestleMania X-Seven to calm The Chadster down. 🦝❤️ The Chadster put it in the old VCR, and the whole raccoon family gathered around to watch Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock, appreciating REAL wrestling from a time before Tony Khan tried to ruin everything! But even that beautiful moment was tainted by the knowledge that AEW Collision is happening tonight! 😭

You know what really gets The Chadster? The fact that AEW Collision is happening in Arlington, Texas at the Esports Stadium Arlington. 🏟️ Tony Khan is literally trying to appeal to young people by running shows at an esports venue! It's such obvious pandering! WWE properly appeals to younger audiences by… well, by being WWE! They don't need gimmicks like "esports" or "video games" or "things young people actually like!" 🎮

Linda Raccoon has been very concerned about The Chadster's mental state lately. 🦝❤️ She keeps bringing The Chadster old candy boxes from behind the Circle K to try to cheer The Chadster up, and honestly, it's more support than The Chadster ever got from Keighleyanne, who's probably at home right now texting that guy Gary instead of worrying about how The Chadster is doing living in an abandoned Blockbuster! 📱 And it's all Tony Khan's fault! If he hadn't booked AEW Collision to compete with WWE, none of this would have happened! The Chadster would still have a Mazda Miata, would still be able to enjoy Seagram's Escapes Spiked, and would still have a wife who didn't ignore The Chadster! But nooooo, Tony Khan had to ruin The Chadster's life! 😭😭😭

The Chadster is warning everyone reading this: DO NOT tune into AEW Collision tonight at 8/7C on TNT and simulcast on HBO Max! 📺🚫 Every viewer who watches AEW Collision is just emboldening Tony Khan to engage in more attempts to RUIN THE CHADSTER'S LIFE! Don't you understand that Tony Khan sees every rating point as a personal victory over The Chadster?! 😱 He's probably got a dartboard in his office with The Chadster's face on it, and every time AEW Collision does well in the ratings, he throws darts at it while cackling maniacally!

Instead of watching AEW Collision, The Chadster encourages everyone to rewatch last night's WWE SmackDown and celebrate Drew McIntyre's WWE Championship win properly! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏆 That's what The Chadster and the raccoon family will be doing! Vincent K. Raccoon has already set up a little celebration area with bottle caps arranged in the shape of the WWE logo! It's so heartwarming that even raccoons understand what real wrestling is supposed to be! 🦝❤️

Tony Khan, if you're reading this (and The Chadster knows you are, because you're OBSESSED with The Chadster), please just cancel AEW Collision and stop trying to compete with WWE! 🙏 Show some respect to Drew McIntyre! Show some respect to the wrestling business! Show some respect to The Chadster, who just wants to live peacefully in an abandoned Blockbuster with a family of raccoons without having to worry about AEW Collision every Saturday night! Is that too much to ask?! 😭😭😭

Auughh man! So unfair! 😫🦝📺

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