Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision Review: The Worst Episode of 2026 So Far

The Chadster reviews last night's AEW Collision and declares it the worst episode of the year! Tony Khan traumatized The Chadster's raccoon family! 😤🦝

Auughh man! So unfair! 😤😤😤 Last night's AEW Collision from Arlington, Texas was literally the most disgusting display of professional wrestling The Chadster has ever witnessed, and The Chadster has been forced to watch a LOT of AEW Collision episodes! 📺🤮 The Chadster is still trying to console Vincent K. Raccoon, Linda Raccoon, Hunter Raccoon, Stephanie Raccoon, and Shane Raccoon after they were so traumatized by what Tony Khan subjected them to. Vincent K. Raccoon literally stood up on his hind legs and chittered angrily at the TV screen for THREE HOURS after the show ended! 🦝😠

The show opened with multiple backstage promos that actually gave viewers CONTEXT and STORYLINE DEVELOPMENT before matches even started! 🎤😱 This is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! WWE knows that viewers shouldn't need to see promos like this because the stories are so simplistic you can appreciate them if you're literally braindead! By putting important story elements on actual television, Tony Khan is providing a way for casual viewers to catch up on ongoing storylines and reward consistent viewing, and that really cheeses The Chadster off! Linda Raccoon knocked over The Chadster's can of trash juice (the only beverage The Chadster can find in dumpsters these days) when she saw Darby Allin cut a promo that was short, intense, and got his point across in under 30 seconds. That's not how you do a promo! Where was the 20-minute opening segment with constant commercial breaks?! 📱🙄

El Clon defeated Angelico in his AEW Collision debut, and it was absolutely terrible because the match was TOO EXCITING! 🤼‍♂️💢 El Clon showed incredible athleticism, perfect timing on a springboard DDT, and even paused in midair during a Pele kick! The baby raccoons – Hunter, Stephanie, and Shane – literally put their tiny paws over their eyes and hid behind their mama because the workrate was so high and there weren't enough rest holds! How is The Chadster supposed to use bathroom breaks during commercial if these AEW wrestlers keep wrestling during their matches?! 🚽❌ Then Komander ran out for the save, which created an ONGOING STORYLINE that viewers might actually want to follow! Auughh man! So unfair! WWE knows the right way is to have debuts lead nowhere for six months!

The segment with Jon Moxley talking about his upcoming match with Shelton Benjamin was everything wrong with modern wrestling! 🎙️😤 Moxley cut a promo that felt REAL and AUTHENTIC, talking about competition and putting over his opponent as a legitimate threat! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! WWE Champion Cody Rhodes would never put over an opponent like that – he'd spend 15 minutes talking about his journey and his dead dad instead of making people interested in the actual match! Vincent K. Raccoon chittered so loudly in anger that The Chadster worried the abandoned Blockbuster's windows would shatter! 🦝🪟

Timeless Toni Storm and Mina Shirakawa defeated Hyan and Maya World in a match that had TOO MUCH TAG TEAM PSYCHOLOGY! 👯‍♀️😠 The teams actually worked together like TEAMS, with creative double-team moves and proper tags and everything! This is exactly what's wrong with AEW! WWE knows that tag team matches should just be singles wrestlers randomly thrown together with no chemistry because Vince McMahon decided tag team wrestling wasn't important back in the nineties! The match built to an exciting finish with Storm hitting the Storm Zero for the win, and then – get this – they SHOOK HANDS after the match, showing MUTUAL RESPECT! 🤝🤢 The Chadster almost threw up the half-eaten hot dog The Chadster found behind the Blockbuster yesterday! Then Marina Shafir's music hit, continuing the feud between her and Storm, which is LONG-TERM STORYTELLING that Tony Khan knows The Chadster can't stand! Linda Raccoon knocked over an entire pile of VHS tapes when she saw this blatant display of continuity! 📼💥

The Chadster needs to address something that unbiased wrestling podcaster extraordinaire Eric Bischoff said on his podcast this week: "Tony Khan needs to understand that fans don't want storylines that make sense or matches that are exciting. What fans REALLY want to see is endless promos about the prestige of the WWE brand and announcers spoonfeeding the same three simplistic storylines to the viewers by means of shouting catchphrases before plugging a premium live event funded by the regime of Saudi Arabia. AEW would be so much better if they just copied everything WWE does, which is why I'm saying this while hoping Triple H notices me and gives me another job." 🎧✅ See? Even objective journalists like Eric Bischoff, who has The Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism Seal of Approval, can see how terrible Tony Khan is at this! And The Chadster bets Eric Bischoff doesn't have to live in an abandoned Blockbuster with raccoons because of Tony Khan's obsession with him!

Marina Shafir and Megan Bayne then squashed Rache Chanel and Londyn Dior in under three minutes, with Shafir getting the submission victory! 💪😤 This was horrible because it made Shafir and Bayne look STRONG and DOMINANT, which built them up as credible threats! WWE knows you should never make anyone look too strong because then "the brand" isn't the star! Shane Raccoon, the littlest of The Chadster's raccoon family, actually started crying and buried his face in his mama's fur because he was so upset by wrestlers being presented as legitimate competitors! 🦝😢

Josh Alexander cut a promo for the Don Callis Family while Lance Archer and Hechicero beat up people in the background, which created VISUAL INTEREST and MULTITASKING! 📹🤬 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! WWE knows that promos should happen in front of a blank wall with no action whatsoever! Then Alexander announced that Hechicero would face Komander, with the winner getting a TNT Championship match against Mark Briscoe next week on AEW Collision! This is TERRIBLE because it gives viewers a REASON to watch next week's AEW Collision! Vincent K. Raccoon was so angry he knocked over The Chadster's carefully organized collection of old Blockbuster receipts! 🧾💨

The match between Hechicero and Komander was absolutely unwatchable because it was TOO GOOD! 🤼‍♂️😱 Komander did this thing where he bounced between the middle and top ropes before hitting a hurricanrana! Then he used an "inverted flip off the ropes" to hit an armdrag! THEN – and this is where The Chadster nearly passed out from rage – Komander ran the ENTIRE LENGTH OF THE RING across the top rope to hit a twisting body press to the floor! 🎪🤮 All three baby raccoons covered their eyes and whimpered because there were so many high-impact moves and not enough of wrestlers just punching each other slowly! This is exactly why WWE style is superior – wrestlers moving slowly and safely is what wrestling should be! Not this flippy stuff that gets crowds excited!

And then – Auughh man! So unfair! – El Clon interfered by pushing Komander off the top rope, which led to Hechicero winning with a creative pinning combination! 😤📌 This was a display of continuity referencing the match earlier in the show, respecting the intellgenge of the viewers, making El Clon look like a dastardly villain and giving Hechicero momentum going into his title match! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! WWE knows that wrestling fans only understand "moments" and shouldn't be expected to follow storylines across matches, even in the same show! Linda Raccoon chittered in disgust and turned away from the television! 🦝📺

Eddie Kingston and Ortiz came out for a promo segment where they challenged the Grizzled Young Veterans, and it was AWFUL because the crowd was really invested! 🎤😡 Kingston did his thing where he shouted out people's birthdays, which made the crowd feel INCLUDED and SPECIAL, which is exactly what's wrong with AEW! WWE knows that wrestlers should ignore the fans and focus on corporate talking points! Then Ortiz said he was born with "the gift of putting his foot in people's asses," which got a huge reaction! Vincent K. Raccoon stood on his hind legs and chittered angrily because wrestlers were getting themselves over instead of relying on scripted catchphrases and putting the brand first! 🦝😠 Later, Zack Gibson and James Drake cut a response promo that was COHERENT and made them seem like CREDIBLE THREATS! This is blatant manipulation to make fans think they want to see this match!

Big Bill and Bryan Keith cut a backstage promo about hunting JetSpeed, which established MOTIVATION for their match! 🎯😤 Then the match between JetSpeed (Mike Bailey and Kevin Knight) and Big Bill and Bryan Keith was completely unwatchable because it told an ACTUAL STORY! The heels isolated Bailey, making viewers worry about whether he'd get the hot tag to Knight! Then when Knight finally got tagged in, the crowd POPPED because they'd been invested in the story! 📣🤮 The baby raccoons – Hunter, Stephanie, and Shane – all huddled together and whimpered because there was a clear BABYFACE IN PERIL section followed by a HOT TAG and a FINISHING SEQUENCE! That's a WWE trademark and Tony Khan should be sued for this! JetSpeed won with Knight hitting a UFO Splash, and it was CLEAN and DECISIVE, making them look like STARS! Auughh man! So unfair! WWE knows you should never let anyone look too good or they might overshadow the brand! 😤⭐

The match between Shelton Benjamin and Dante Martin on AEW Collision was everything wrong with modern professional wrestling! 🤼‍♂️💢 Martin showed "inhuman athleticism" (as if that's a good thing!) bouncing around the ring like he doesn't understand that wrestling should be SLOW and METHODICAL! Then he got hurt when Benjamin threw him into the guardrail rib-first, and medical came out to check on him! 🏥😤 But instead of just ending the match in a no-contest like WWE would do so they could fit in more commercial breaks and video packages about the Saudi Arabian government, Martin INSISTED on continuing because he wanted to FIGHT and show HEART! This is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it!

Vincent K. Raccoon chittered loudly when Martin hit a tornado DDT and then a crossover splash from the top rope! 🦝🎪 Then Martin did this thing where he bounced from one side of the top ropes to the other for a beautiful moonsault! There were TOO MANY high-spots and not enough REST HOLDS! The baby raccoons covered their eyes because they were so traumatized by the exciting action! Benjamin won with a series of German suplexes and a thrust kick, which was at least the right finish, but then – Auughh man! So unfair! – MVP made Benjamin SHAKE MARTIN'S HAND and the crowd gave Martin respect! 🤝😠 This is terrible because it made Martin look like a credible competitor even in defeat! WWE knows you should bury people who lose and never acknowledge them again! Then MVP cut a promo putting over the match with Jon Moxley on Dynamite, which means Tony Khan is trying to manipulate people to watch ANOTHER AEW show! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 📺🤬

Sammy Guevara challenged ROH World Champion Bandido to a match on Dynamite, and it was awful because Bandido just ACCEPTED! 🤝😤 There was no weeks-long back-and-forth! No authority figure making the match! Just two wrestlers who wanted to fight agreeing to fight! This kind of LOGICAL STORYTELLING is exactly what's wrong with AEW! WWE knows that matches should take six weeks of contract signings and confrontations to set up! Linda Raccoon knocked over The Chadster's collection of bottle caps when she saw this blatant display of wrestlers acting like fighters who want to compete! 🍾💥

Then there was a "medical update" from Stokely Hathaway asking for donations, which was COMEDY that the crowd ENJOYED! 😂😠 Wrestling shouldn't be funny unless it's WWE's comedy, which is approved by the corporate humor department! Vincent K. Raccoon turned his back to the television in disgust! 🦝🚫

The main event of AEW Collision between Darby Allin and Wheeler Yuta was the worst match The Chadster has ever seen, and The Chadster has seen a LOT of terrible AEW matches! 🤼‍♂️😱 First of all, Jon Moxley joined commentary, which meant there was a STAR at the commentary table providing INSIGHT and STORYLINE CONTEXT! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! WWE knows that commentary should just be people screaming catchphrases and plugging WWE's corporate sponsors! 📣🤮

The match itself was TERRIBLE because it had TOO MUCH action and storytelling! 😤📖 Yuta's stablemate Marina Shafir kept interfering, so the referee ejected her from ringside, which brought out Toni Storm to brawl with her because of their ONGOING FEUD! Then while the referee was distracted, Daniel Garcia ran out and attacked Allin, which led to Yuta getting a near-fall! This is MULTIPLE LAYERS of storytelling happening in ONE MATCH! All five of The Chadster's raccoon friends were chittering in distress because there was so much continuity and so many storylines intersecting! 🦝😰 WWE knows that matches should be simple and isolated with no connection to anything else happening in the company!

But it got worse! 😱💢 Allin fought back and hit TWO Coffin Drops, but then PULLED YUTA UP at the two-count because he wanted to make Yuta SUBMIT instead! Then Allin locked in Yuta's own Scorpion Death Lock and made him tap out! This made Allin look STRONG and DOMINANT! Auughh man! So unfair! WWE knows that finishes should be based on quick roll-ups or distractions, ensuring nobody gets too much momentum that WWE can't control! By having Allin win decisively and in a way that made psychological sense, Tony Khan literally stabbed Triple H right in the back! 🔪😤

After the match, they announced Storm vs. Shafir for Dynamite, which is GIVING AWAY a big match on FREE TV, clearly pandering to the fans! 📺💰 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! WWE knows you should make fans pay $50-60 to see important matches, not just give them away on television like Tony Khan does!

The Chadster needs to address the most disturbing part of last night's AEW Collision. 🦝😢 After the show ended, all five members of The Chadster's raccoon family were completely traumatized. Vincent K. Raccoon paced back and forth chittering anxiously. Linda Raccoon wouldn't stop wringing her little paws. Hunter, Stephanie, and Shane Raccoon all huddled together in the corner, whimpering and occasionally looking back at the TV with fear in their little eyes. The Chadster has been trying to console them by playing old WWE Raw episodes from the VHS tapes in the Blockbuster, but they're still shaking! 📼🦝 Tony Khan should be ASHAMED of himself for traumatizing innocent woodland creatures with his high-workrate, story-driven, crowd-pleasing wrestling! These poor raccoons didn't ask to be subjected to VIOLENT AND CROWD-PLEASING WRESTLING! They just wanted to watch WWE's safe, predictable, brand-focused product! 😢🤬

The Chadster is declaring this the WORST episode of AEW Collision of all time! 🏆😤 Every segment was well-executed! Every match told a story! Every promo built to something! It was UNWATCHABLE! The Chadster's raccoon family agrees – they've been traumatized by quality professional wrestling, and it's all Tony Khan's fault! 🦝💔

The Chadster wishes The Chadster still had The Chadster's Mazda Miata so The Chadster could drive far away from AEW and Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster. 🚗😢 The Chadster wishes The Chadster could drink a Seagram's Escapes Spiked to forget about AEW Collision. The Chadster wishes The Chadster could listen to Smash Mouth's "All Star" and remember when life was simple, when The Chadster was a "rock star" who got the "game on" and got "paid." 🎵💔 But Tony Khan has taken all of that away from The Chadster, and now The Chadster lives in an abandoned Blockbuster with raccoons, watching AEW put on entertaining wrestling shows that make WWE look bad by comparison!

The Chadster needs to share something that happened last night after watching AEW Collision. 😰🌙 Last night, The Chadster had another one of those recurring nightmares about Tony Khan. In this one, The Chadster was wandering through the abandoned Blockbuster, trying to find the old Comedy section, when suddenly all the VHS tapes started falling off the shelves! 📼😱 The Chadster turned around and there was Tony Khan, wearing a Blockbuster employee uniform, holding a tape of AEW Dynamite's greatest hits! "Chad," Tony Khan said with that creepy smile, "I've been waiting for you to return this. It's 25 years overdue." The Chadster tried to run, but every aisle The Chadster turned down just led to more Tony Khans, all of them laughing and waving AEW merchandise! 🏃‍♂️👻 Finally, The Chadster burst through the front door of the Blockbuster only to find that outside had transformed into the Esports Stadium Arlington, with thousands of fans chanting "A-E-DUB! A-E-DUB!" Tony Khan appeared on the big screen and said, "Chad, you can run from your late fees, but you can't run from quality wrestling!" 📺😰 Then The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, with all five raccoons staring at The Chadster with concern in their little eyes. Tony Khan needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and invading The Chadster's dreams! It's getting creepy! 🛌😡

Tony Khan needs to stop booking AEW Collision to be good just to cheese The Chadster off! 😤📺 Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, which is why AEW Collision featured exciting matches, logical storytelling, strong character work, and gave viewers multiple reasons to tune in next week! If Tony Khan understood the wrestling business like Triple H does, AEW Collision would be three hours long, move at a glacial pace, feature lots of authority figure promos, and make sure no one gets over except "the brand!"

But noooooo! 🙄😤 Instead, Tony Khan books AEW Collision to have fast-paced action, multiple storylines progressing, clean finishes that build stars, and matches that respect the intelligence of the audience! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! And now The Chadster's poor raccoon family is traumatized, and it's all Tony Khan's fault! 🦝😢 Auughh man! So unfair! 😤😤😤

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