Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision Review: WrestleDream? More Like WrestleNightmare!

The Chadster wades through another 📺 AEW Collision, and it's 😡 not pretty. Plus, is Tony Khan using 🐶🐺 dogs now to cheese The Chadster off? 🍺🥴

👋👋Hello wrestling fans! The Chadster would like to welcome all the unbiased readers to yet another review covering this week's AEW Collision 📺 show. The Chadster's disdain for the product that AEW offers (in an objective way) is not a secret, and this episode did nothing to change his mind.

So let's dive in, shall we? The evening kicked off with a match where Blackpool Combat Club found themselves at the receiving end of a low blow to Bryan Danielson from Ricky Starks. Auughh man! So unfair 🤦‍♂️! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

Then, there was the AEW World Tag Team Championship match where FTR retained their titles by executing a Power and Glory combo 😒. Chadster would love to see the team challenged by credible wrestlers, not just any Johnny-come-lately that has nothing to offer other than hype.

John Silver emerged victorious in his match against Anthony Bowens 🙄. Through some trickery 🎭 that reminds The Chadster of the things he despises about AEW, Silver managed to ban Bowens' associates from ringside before the match even started! Then, in a shocking 😲 twist of events, Silver got a sneaky assist from Evil Uno who attacked Bowens from underneath the ring 🤼‍♂️, handing Silver the unfair victory. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. The Chadster can't help but feel for Bowens who, much like Vince McMahon, was metaphorically stabbed right in the back.

What's with Andrade El Idolo securing a victory over Scorpio Sky with a Figure Eight submission? And then this whole attention-grabbing confrontation with Jay White after the match! The Chadster shudders at such a blatant attempt to steal moves and get cheap heat 🙄.

And let's not even get started on the Aussie Open and Hardys matches 🙅‍♂️, both of which were just attempts to reignite old, burnt-out rivalries and stir up controversy.

And then poor Britt Baker had to lose to Kris Statlander in the main event of AEW Collision? They don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business.

As The Chadster sat there in front of the television, trying to sift through yet another episode of AEW Collision, something inside him snapped. The constant disrespect to WWE finally got to him. Without thinking, The Chadster's hand catapulted the can of White Claw seltzer he was holding right at the television screen. He was more than a few White Claws deep, versatility being the key in keeping up with the harrowing task of watching AEW, you understand, so his usually perfect aim was way off. The can went soaring right out through the open window of The Chadster's living room. And who should it hit? That good-for-nothing stray dog that's made a habit of lurking around the neighborhood.

Now, any other dog may have skulked off after being hit by a seltzer can. But this one, shockingly, became emboldened, likely drunk off the White Claw that had exploded on impact. The Chadster could only watch in horror as the dog, seemingly hell-bent on vengeance, launched itself through the still open window and barreled into his home. The peaceful living room was instantly transformed into a chaotic wrestling ring.

The Chadster found himself locked in an impromptu five-star match with this crazed canine, which was now darting around, manic from the intoxicating effects of the White Claw. The Chadster was a picture of grace under pressure, dodging gnashing teeth while trying to shoo the beast out of his house. But as the unlikely match dragged on, a disturbing thought began to color The Chadster's mind: could Tony Khan, the puppet master working tirelessly to RUIN THE CHADSTER'S LIFE, have planned even this?

The Chadster has had his fair share of bizarre happenings, each progressively perplexing, all seeming to link back to Khan. At first, The Chadster chalked it up as a coincidence, but now? This dog, this pesky neighborhood stray, had been doused with White Claw and turned on The Chadster more than once. Its uncanny ability to always be lurking around The Chadster's window, just as he's watching AEW, was eerily consistent. Could Khan be vindictive enough to enlist a dog to further his apparent vendetta against The Chadster? Is Khan so obsessed with The Chadster that he's even recruiting from the animal kingdom?

The Chadster also had the displeasure of witnessing Young Bucks and Adam Page challenge Mogul Embassy, and Powerhouse Hobbs make another one of his empty threats 😤. Also, why ignore the delightful Toni Storm backstage interview by RJ City and focus on the obscure Eddie Kingston promo against Claudio? WWE wouldn't stoop so low in their booking. And let's be honest here, nobody cares about Renee's interview with Orange Cassidy and HOOK.

This week's AEW Collision was the worst one yet! Come on! Why can't AEW just focus on good, clean wrestling instead of all these senseless shenanigans? But hey, why would Tony Khan listen when he can continue serving his personal vendetta against The Chadster by ruining his beloved sport? The Chadster sometimes wonders if other unbiased journalists like Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger experience the same unwanted torment from Tony Khan 🤔. Despite the drama, The Chadster can assure his readers that he will soldier on and continue to present unbiased opinions on professional wrestling 🙏 Until next time, loyal readers! 👋😎

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