Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision: The Opposite of Everything Crown Jewel Had to Offer

The Chadster breaks down AEW Collision' and Tony Khans latest attack on WWE's legacy. Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster is just so unfair! 😡🤼‍♂️💔

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off after watching AEW Collision last night! 😡😡😡 Tony Khan has once again gone out of his way to personally upset The Chadster with his blatant disregard for the wrestling business. Auughh man! So unfair! 🤬

Let's start with a celebration Private Party winning the AEW World Tag Team Championships. 🏆 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan would force The Chadster to relive the horrific moment from last Wednesday when he manipulated the crowd into a massive pop for Private Party's victory over the Young Bucks. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it for AEW to pretend to have cohesive long-term storytelling with a popular payoff. 😤

Then we had that ridiculous Day of the Dead match between Thunder Rosa and Harley Cameron. 💀 The Chadster doesn't understand why AEW Collision needs to have these gimmicky matches. It's like Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. In WWE, they know how to do proper wrestling matches without all this unnecessary pageantry, except when they do have crazy gimmicks, in which case it's done the correct way, the WWE way. 🙄

And don't even get The Chadster started on that match between Kyle Fletcher and Komander. 🤼‍♂️ The way they were flipping and flying all over the place, it's like they were trying to turn wrestling into some kind of circus act. That's not what wrestling is supposed to be! WWE would never allow such blatant disregard for traditional wrestling norms. 😤

As if that wasn't enough, AEW Collision had the audacity to put on a squash match with Lance Archer and Brian Cage against Shaun Smith and Joe Keys. 😒 The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan insists on wasting time with these pointless displays of dominance. It's like he's trying to make Archer and Cage look strong or something. Doesn't he know that's not how real wrestling works? The way to make wrestlers look strong is to have them rise through the ranks of the WWE developmental system and earn their spot. 🙄

The Chadster was particularly upset by the Jon Moxley segment. 🎤 Moxley, who literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by leaving WWE, had the nerve to talk about loyalty and fighting for something bigger than yourself. It's just so hypocritical! And then Action Andretti came out and just decided to insert himself into a match. Doesn't he know that's not how a real wrestler behaves? 🤦‍♂️

PAC took the Challenge, because of course he did. 🤦‍♂️ The Chadster can't believe PAC hasn't come to his senses and returned to WWE already. It's like he literally stabbed Triple H right in the back, disregarding the wonderful gimmick of Neville to be involved in this second-rate Bloodline. And Action Andretti? More like Inaction Andretti, because that's what The Chadster wishes he would do instead of participating in this mockery of professional wrestling. 😠

And let's not forget about the match between Lio Rush and Ariya Daivari. 🙄 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan would book two former WWE talents against each other like this. It's like he's trying to show that AEW can use WWE's cast-offs better than WWE did, but if those castoffs were going to make it, they would have made in WWE. So disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it to challenge WWE's wisdom! 😤

The match between Roderick Strong and Shane Taylor was just another example of how AEW Collision doesn't understand the wrestling business. 🤷‍♂️ Strong, who spent most of his career in Ring of Honor, hasn't spent any time in the WWE developmental system, warning his spot, so how can he compete on televised matches like this? Does he know how to fit the optimal number of catchphrases in a promo? Does he understand the proper WWE match formula to be used every single time he steps in the ring? The Chadster just doesn't understand it. 😖

The women's championship match between Mariah May and Anna Jay was another example of how AEW Collision just doesn't get it. 👎 The match was way too competitive for The Chadster's liking, and no one here even had the decency to shatter their orbital socket. It's like they don't even care enough about the match to do themselves grievous bodily harm! You woudn't see that in WWE. 😠

Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster had another nightmare about him last night. 😱 In the dream, The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata down a lonely highway, listening to Smash Mouth's "All Star" on repeat, when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror. 🚗 He was riding a giant AEW logo like it was a skateboard, gaining on The Chadster at an alarming speed. The Chadster tried to escape, but no matter how fast the Miata went, Tony Khan kept getting closer. Just as Tony was about to catch up, he yelled, "Hey now, you're an All Elite, get your game on, go play!" The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, his White Claw knocked over on the nightstand. 😰 Tony Khan needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and stay out of The Chadster's dreams!

The Chadster tried to tell Keighleyanne about the nightmare and how it was clearly inspired by last night's episode of AEW Collision, but she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 The Chadster can't help but feel that Tony Khan is somehow responsible for the strain in The Chadster's marriage too. 💔

But back to the matter at hand, AEW Collision continues to be a thorn in The Chadster's side. 🌹 It's clear that Tony Khan and AEW don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. They keep putting on shows that appeal to their fanbase instead of doing things the right way like WWE does and using astroturf campaigns to make the audience fall in line. The Chadster can only hope that one day, Tony Khan will realize the error of his ways and stop trying to compete with the greatest wrestling company in the world. Until then, The Chadster will continue to be the voice of unbiased journalism in the wrestling world, calling out AEW's blatant disregard for everything that makes professional wrestling great. 📝💯

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