Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision: Tony Khan Ruins SmackDown & The Chadster's Weekend

Tony Khan's latest attack on WWE? Scheduling AEW Collision against SmackDown! The Chadster spills all on the weekend-wrecking fiasco. 🤬🚫🤼

Auughh man! So unfair! Once again, Tony Khan tried to steal WWE's thunder by moving AEW Collision to 8PM last night, putting it right up against the venerable WWE SmackDown. The Chadster can't believe this 😡! WWE needs these ratings more than ever, and here comes Tony Khan with his shenanigans 🧐.

It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. Tony Khan, you've done The Chadster a real disservice by also slamming AEW Collision, AEW Rampage and AEW Full Gear into the same weekend. Could The Chadster's weekend be any more ruined? Ugh 😫.

Now, The Chadster is, absolutely, 100% unbiased, just like The Chadster's pals Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger, 😇 who may also be on Tony Khan's hit list for their pure, WWE-supporting journalism. But The Chadster has to speak out against AEW Collision's blatant ploy to pry eyeballs and wallets open for today's Full Gear PPV. The emotional manipulation…it's gotta stop, okay? 😤

Getting into the nitty-gritty of last night's AEW Collision, here's what went down on the show. 😒

Tony Schiavone started it up in the ring with TNT Champion Christian Cage, who's going around acting like "the patriarch of AEW." Auughh, please 🙄. He took shots at Sting, Darby Allin, and even Ric Flair—literally stabbing Vince McMahon right in the back.

Lexy Nair interviewed Big Bill and Ricky Starks, imposing conditions on their tag title defense—like it's not already enough of an uphill battle with Tony Khan's tyrannical booking 🤯!

The battle between Daniel Garcia and Miro turned into Miro with his "Redeemer" shtick. Surprise, he won by referee stop ⏹️. But The Chadster's White Claw can't be stopped when it's chucked at the TV screen because of this nonsense—and now there's a mess on the floor. Thanks, Tony! Oh, and Keighleyanne just texted that guy Gary instead of cleaning it up 🙄. This is all on you, Khan.

CJ Perry and Andrade El Idolo shared a moment backstage, discussing bonus whispers. The Chadster's ears are burning from the suspicion—it's probably all a ruse to trick the poor audience again 😒.

Next up, Kings of the Black Throne squashed The Boys in a predictable win. Dante's Inferno? More like The Chadster's living nightmare…

In a four-way bout for a crack at the TNT Title number one contendership on Collision, Penta El Zero Miedo and pals clashed. In the end, Trent Beretta bagged the victory. It's just so disrespectful to dedicate so much energy to a title that has so much less history than WWE's titles.

Don Callis and Powerhouse Hobbs cut a promo, and Hobbs is just too full of himself. Anyone can get it? How about some respect? 🙄

Wardlow made short work of Evan Daniels and all The Chadster can think about is the cost of more seltzer to douse the next infuriating segment.

Dax Harwood faced off against Rush, and would you believe the sneaky "Absolute" Ricky Starks caused a no-contest by attacking Rush? Utter chaos ensued. and honestly, nobody understands a single thing about the wrestling business anymore.

Action Andretti, who would have been better off in WWE, got interrupted by The Kingdom and Roderick Strong. Utter rudeness! 😠

Next, Wheeler Yuta and Buddy Matthews went at it—the latter won, but was it thrilling? Meh 😒. Then Claudio challenged Buddy for a match at Full Gear. Honestly, Buddy should say no. No one should be this obsessed with conflict… Not like Tony Khan is with The Chadster.

And for the main event of AEW Collision, the tag match between champs Hikaru Shida & Kris Statlander and The Outcasts, Ruby Soho & Saraya, was basically a tutorial on how to ruin a wrestling product, according to The Chadster. Shida and Statlander performed like they were the only ones in the ring, completely snubbing any respectful nod WWE's legacy of tag team expertise. It's just so disrespectful. 🙄 As if that wasn't bad enough, Julia Hart and Skye Blue having to watch this travesty from backstage monitors had to be embarrassing for them. Angelo Parker cheering from the crowd? The Chadster can only wonder why respect and tradition have left the building. In the end, Shida's victory with the Katana? Far from satisfying. 🚫

Earlier, Tony Schiavone's sit-down with MJF, the AEW World & ROH Tag champ, was nothing short of nauseating. There he was, boasting about keeping promises and dabbling in self-aggrandizement like he's rewriting wrestling history. Hah, fighting the Gunns and Jay White in one night? Sounds like a plot from a bad action movie if The Chadster has ever heard one. MJF doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, let alone what truly makes a championship valuable. It's about legacy. It's about the path paved by WWE, not the self-serving gibberish MJF spews. 🤢

So, is the Mazda Miata going to be riding out to blast some happy tunes from Smash Mouth? Nope, Tony Khan has The Chadster riding the wave of despair instead 🎶. And the only solace is another White Claw 🍹. Just remember, when The Chadster reaches for that cranberry-flavored life preserver, it's Tony Khan's fault, not The Chadster's for having excellent taste.

Just wait until the next episode of whatever Tony Khan and AEW throw out to the world—The Chadster will be here, red pen in hand, showing how WWE continues to be the one true wrestling promotion ✍️. Skip Full Gear this weekend, folks. We've got to send Tony Khan a message. The Chadster, out!

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!