Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: Tony Khan's Anti-Wrestling Assault on Knoxville

The Chadster breaks down tonight's AEW Dynamite, exposing how Tony Khan is booking matches specifically to torment The Chadster and disrespect WWE. 😤

Auughh man! So unfair! 😤 Tonight's episode of AEW Dynamite is just another example of how Tony Khan is booking shows specifically to cheese off The Chadster. The lineup is literally stabbing Triple H right in the back multiple times! 😡 The Chadster doesn't even want to talk about it, but as an unbiased journalist, The Chadster knows it's his duty to do so. So get ready for some objective truth!

First up, we've got "The Rated R Superstar" Cope taking on "The Bastard" PAC. The Chadster can't even believe how disrespectful it is to have someone with such an obvious WWE-inspired nickname competing on AEW Dynamite. 🙄 This is just Tony Khan trying to confuse casual viewers, which is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

The tag team championship match between Private Party and Hurt Syndicate is particularly offensive to The Chadster. 😠 Having Bobby Lashley and Shelton Benjamin in AEW is like they're literally stabbing Triple H right in the back with a rusty knife. As Eric Bischoff said on his podcast last week, "AEW's tag team division is just trying too hard to entertain people, which is the wrong way to do wrestling." See? Even Eric knows! 📢

Speaking of people who don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, Kenny Omega and Will Ospreay are going to have a face-to-face confrontation. 😤 The Chadster showed this preview to Keighleyanne, and she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. The Chadster knows she agrees that this kind of fast-paced, athletic wrestling style is ruining the business!

Then we have Julia Hart versus Jamie Hayter, and The Chadster can't even with this match. 😤 Using mist in wrestling? That's not what WWE does, which means it's wrong! As Mark Henry said recently, "If you can't win a match with basic moves and rest holds, you're doing it wrong." The Chadster couldn't agree more! 💯

Swerve Strickland taking on AR Fox is just Tony Khan trying to show off with his "flippy wrestling" style that doesn't draw a dime. 🙄 The Chadster showed this match announcement to Keighleyanne, but she just mumbled "whatever" and kept texting that guy Gary. See? Even she knows this kind of wrestling is wrong!

Samoa Joe versus Nick Wayne is just another example of Tony Khan trying to cheese off The Chadster. 😫 As Bully Ray wisely stated on his podcast, "What AEW needs is more rest holds and less excitement." But Tony Khan won't listen because he's too obsessed with tormenting The Chadster!

Speaking of Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster, last night The Chadster had another terrible nightmare. 😱 The Chadster was driving the Mazda Miata through the Knoxville Coliseum parking lot, drinking a White Claw seltzer responsibly, when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror! He was wearing a silk robe covered in AEW logos and chasing The Chadster while throwing booking sheets everywhere! The Chadster tried to escape, but Tony Khan kept teleporting in front of the Miata, doing jazz hands and whispering "Watch AEW Dynamite tonight, Chad…" in this really sensual way. When The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, Keighleyanne just sighed and said The Chadster needs therapy. 😰

The Chadster is begging viewers not to watch AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7c on TBS and MAX. Every viewer who tunes in just encourages Tony Khan to keep booking shows that literally violate the sanctity of everything WWE has built. As Kevin Nash so eloquently put it, "AEW's biggest problem is that people actually enjoy watching it." 💯

Tony Khan, The Chadster demands that you stop haunting The Chadster's dreams! This is getting ridiculous, and The Chadster knows you're doing it on purpose! The Chadster can barely even get through a case of White Claw without having flashbacks to your torment! 😭

And that's the bottom line, because The Chadster said so! 🎤

*Smash Mouth lyric of the day: "My world's on fire, how 'bout yours? That's the way Tony Khan likes it and I'll never get cured…" 🎵

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