Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, Rampage, recaps, wrestling

AEW Rampage: 4 Ways Last Night's Show Ruined The Chadster's Weekend

Well, Tony Khan, The Chadster hopes you're happy with yourself. Halloween Havoc is this weekend, a big show for WWE NXT, but once again Tony Khan has tried to UPSTAGE WWE with the latest episode of AEW Rampage. And making things worse, The Chadster couldn't even ignore Rampage if he wanted to because The Chadster's editor, Ray Flook, is in cahoots with Tony Khan in his plan to RUIN THE CHADSTER'S LIFE because Ray forced The Chadster to watch and review AEW Rampage. Auuugh man! So unfair!

Of course, The Chadster is the only unbiased reporter in all of wrestling journalism (except for Ryan Satin), so The Chadster will do his job and present a completely objective, unbiased view of this week's episode of AEW Rampage. So what did The Chadster think of AEW Rampage? He absolutely hated it! But what did The Chadster hate the most? The Chadster can only possibly convey this with a listicle.

1. The Acclaimed Win Their Catchphrase Back from Varsity Athletes on AEW Rampage

In a match that just goes to show how unfair the US trademark system is, The Acclaimed defeated The Varsity Athletes in a match to not only retain the AEW Tag Team Championships, but to win back the right to say "scissor me" again. The Chadster finds this to be just so disrespectful. The Chadster was led to believe that Mark Sterling trademarked the catchphrase and would be preventing The Acclaimed from ever saying it again. But then he goes and loses it in a match the next week! The Chadster chucked his White Claw seltzer right at the television when he saw this happen, so now Tony Khan owes him a new TV on top of everything else.

2. Hook Beats Ari Daivari to Retain the FTW Championship on AEW Rampage

If there's one person in the wrestling business The Chadster absolutely can't stand, it's Tony Khan. And after that, it's everyone on the AEW roster. But one roster member in particular that The Chadster can't stand is Hook. Not only is this guy over with the AEW audience, which is the first sign that he can't be trusted, but whenever he's on the TV, Keyleighanne stops texting that guy Gary and pays attention to Rampage. Now Tony Khan has got The Chadster's own wife betraying him by watching AEW! Why are you doing this to The Chadster, Tony Khan?! Why?!

3. Willow Nightingale Wins Her Match and Gets a Job on AEW Rampage

Tony Khan pulled a massive bait-and-switch on AEW Rampage last night. He advertised Willow Nightingale vs. Penelope Ford, but Nightingale faced and beat Leila Grey instead. The Chadster is outraged at this deception by Tony Khan. Not that The Chadster was looking forward to seeing the original match — The Chadster hates every match AEW puts on — but it's the principle of the matter for The Chadster. After the match, Nightgale was given an AEW contract, but Jade Cargill interrupted the celebration to demand her TBS Championship back from Nyla Rose… but Rose stole Cargill's car instead. No surprise that AEW wrestlers would break the law… their leader sets the example, and when a billionaire playboy spends his money torturing an innocent wrestling journalist with compelling television, what else could you possibly expect?!

4. Orange Cassidy Successfully Defends the All-Atlantic Championship in a Triple Threat

By this point in the night, The Chadster had more than enough. But instead of ending Rampage early as a mercy to The Chadster, Tony Khan kept it going with one more match, a match that cheesed The Chadster off more than any other! Big surprise! Orange Cassidy put the All-Atlantic Championship on the line against both Preston Vance and Rush in a triple threat. Danhausen got involved in this match too to help Cassidy, and you know how The Chadster feels about Danhausen (he hates him). How dare AEW put on an epic triple threat title match on Friday night before Halloween Havoc? It just goes to show that Tony Khan has absolutely zero respect for the wrestling business and everything Shawn Michaels has done for it.

In conclusion, The Chadster hated AEW Rampage this week. The Chadster feels it was the worst episode of the show of all time. But even worse was everything Tony Khan did to personally target The Chadster with this show. The Chadster is more convinced than ever that Tony Khan is purposely trying to make his life miserable. Every week, AEW Rampage airs and The Chadster is forced to watch it and write a review. The Chadster's wife Keighleyanne has even started to watch AEW and text that guy Gary all the time instead of paying attention to her husband. The Chadster is sure that Tony Khan is doing all of this on purpose, and he won't rest until The Chadster is driven insane. The Chadster will never forgive Tony Khan for what he's done, and he will never stop trying to expose him for the monster that he is, and that's the bottom line 'cause Chad said so!

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!