Dave Bautista Stages Coup, Replaces Mike Pence as Vice President

Guardians of the Galaxy star Dave Bautista has declared himself the new Vice President of the United States in an unprecedented coup attempt by the wrestler-turned-actor. Bautista, who has long been involved in a feud with fellow WWE Hall-of-Famer President Donald Trump, turned his attention toward Mike Pence earlier this week, calling the Vice President a "sorry sycophant traitorous piece of shit."  Bautista's allies, including Guardians of the Galaxy director James Gunn, have also ramped up attacks against Pence this week. With Pence most vulnerable following the humiliating announcement that members of the new U.S. Space Force will be known as "Guardians," Bautista made his move, dismissing Pence and declaring himself the new Vice President of the United States.

Hollywood megastar Dave Bautista is no fan of fellow WWE Hall-of-Famer President Donald Trump or any of his allies, including Vice President Mike Pence
Hollywood megastar Dave Bautista is no fan of fellow WWE Hall-of-Famer President Donald Trump or any of his allies, including Vice President Mike Pence

". @VP is this payback for me changing my name to Super Duper Fly? Cmon dude that shit was funny! That fly sat on that pile of shit you call a head for 30 fucking minutes! How bout this! You can call me Vice President. Until the REAL Vice President steps in that is. #Traitor," Bautista tweeted. He added a puking emoji to emphasize his disgust at Pence.

Guardians of the Galaxy and Suicide Squad director James Gunn.
Guardians of the Galaxy and Suicide Squad director James Gunn.

Because this is the first time a Hollywood actor has declared himself Vice President while a sitting Vice President was in office, laws are unclear on what happens next, just as the fact that Bleeding Cool Editor-in-Chief Kaitlyn Booth has been keeping me locked in the Bleeding Cool dungeon and forced to write clickbait articles about the tweets of Dave Bautista is a legally gray area (please send help). However, it's worth noting that Bautista's new "Vice President Drax" Twitter handle carries a blue checkmark, indicating that Bautista's status is considered "verified" by the social media giant. President Trump and his allies have been involved in a heated war with Twitter since the company began labeling Trump's tweets about election fraud conspiracies as fake news.

The question a post-Trump America must ask is: if social media accepts that Dave Bautista is Vice President, doesn't that make it true?

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

About Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events. Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!
Comments will load 8 seconds after page. Click here to load them now.