Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, AEW Dynamite, recaps, wrestling

Gory, Violent Blood and Guts Match Ends Worst AEW Dynamite Ever

Read as The Chadster bemoans the horrific, blood-filled spectacle on AEW Dynamite tonight. Blood and Guts is disrespectful to WWE's legacy!

Oh no, folks! The Chadster is here to tell you about another egregious offense to the very essence of wrestling from AEW Dynamite that went down tonight in the Blood and Guts main event. Can you believe the audacity of these AEW guys? Once again, they are out here turning the beautiful, sanitized world of professional wrestling into a freakish nightmare straight out of an Eli Roth film! Auughh man! So unfair!

In a horrifying spectacle that The Chadster can only describe as an absolute disgrace to the WWE-loving city of Boston, The Golden Elite — Kenny Omega, Hangman Adam Page, The Young Bucks, and Kota Ibushi — took on the nefarious Blackpool Combat Club — Jon Moxley, Claudio Castagnoli, Wheeler Yuta, Konosuke Takeshita, and PAC. They went head-to-head in an ordeal filled with broken glass, forks, thumbtacks, tables, and even a bed of nails. 😡

Folks, this ain't wrestling! It's just disrespect and further proof that Tony Khan and his AEW crew don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. How can these performers, many from the hallowed halls of WWE, agree to participate in such madness? By doing so, they have literally stabbed Vince McMahon right in the back. 💔

Oh, and don't even get The Chadster started on that raucous crowd! With every pained cheer that erupted for this unreasonable violence, this so-called "wrestling" crowd spat in the face of WWE and all it stands for. 😭 How anyone can appreciate this bloodsport travesty is beyond The Chadster's comprehension! Tony Khan, this is a rock bottom moment for you, sir, a new low in your obsession to ruin everything The Chadster holds dear! 👎

Jon Moxley's use of a fork to stab Kenny Omega in the ear and to gouge Hangman Page's face was the grotesque opener to this festival of violence. As if that weren't enough, Moxley showcased his art of ruthlessness with a bucket filled with broken glass. 😱 Poor Nick Jackson had a heated encounter with this broken glass, presenting a spectacle enough to horrify any true WWE loyalist. Enter Wheeler Yuta, ushered into the mayhem with a chair in hand, because clearly, this event needed more weaponry.

But, oh no, folks, that was just the gruesome appetizer. The main course saw Moxley pulling out a bed of nails and shotgun dropkicking our beloved Kenny Omega onto it. Kota Ibushi, rather than showing any mercy, chose to moonsault Moxley into this very bed of nails. It's beyond disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😖

Next up, we had Matt Jackson and Wheeler Yuta receiving double back body drops onto thumbtacks. It's just so painful to watch. But wait! There's more! PAC climbs the roof of the cage and double stomps himself through a table in one of the most unsettling spots of the night. The insanity continued as Hangman Page setup for Buckshot and took out Claudio Castagnoli, while Yuta had his face gruesomely grinded into Matt Jackson's tack shoe. The Chadster could barely watch as Page choked Wheeler Yuta with a chain leading to Moxley's submission.

This wasn't wrestling, folks. This was the undermining of everything WWE's PG product stands for. These inhumane spots are literally stabbing Vince McMahon right in the back. Tony Khan and his team of sadistic performers clearly don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😭😡

The Chadster is spent, truly exhausted after wading through all that chaotic mayhem and recapping it, all in the name of unbiased journalism. Sometimes The Chadster wonders if Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger, fellow members of The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club, slog through such tormenting content as well.

But, duty calls, and The Chadster shoulders the responsibility with stoic determination. Now, it's time for The Chadster to retire and hope that this visual ordeal doesn't give fuel to the frequent nightmares about Tony Khan. Oh, the horrific dreams The Chadster has endured in recent times!

Khan in a ghoulish clown makeup, cackling as he wrestles control of WWE from Vince. Tony, a malevolent puppet master, forcing The Chadster's beloved Superstars to perform monstrous Blood and Guts matches night after night. Another time, Tony appearing as a werewolf stalking The Chadster through a misty graveyard, gnashing his teeth over another stolen WWE talent. Even one where he held The Chadster hostage in an AEW Thunder Cage, taunting The Chadster with manipulations of the wrestling business. 😱

And many more, of course. The Chadster prays his dreams tonight will be free of Tony Khan's cruel and vengeful reach. It's unfair! Why does The Chadster have to be haunted like this? Can't Tony Khan stop being so obsessed?

Anyway, all that's left to do is to send out a heartfelt goodnight to all the true WWE fans out there. Dream of grand stages, legendary Superstars, epic Royal Rumbles, and thrilling Wrestlemania moments. Ignore the disgrace that is AEW. Until tomorrow, loyal readers, goodnight and keep your love for WWE burning strong. ✌️💤🌙🥱😴👍

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