How Not to Play the Game: Triple H Tanks Raw Ratings

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from the White House, where I have snuck in to leave an upper decker while President Trump is traveling in Texas. But it's not the putrid stench of resistance I am here to talk about today, amigos. No, it's the ratings of WWE Raw, which fell by over 300,000 viewers last night despite an appearance by Triple H and the intrigue of a WWE Champion forced to quarantine after testing positive for COVID-19.

The official logo for WWE Monday Night Raw. Credit: WWE.
The official logo for WWE Monday Night Raw. Credit: WWE.

My friends, Triple H knows that the wrestling business is all about the game and how you play it, and for decades, no one has played the game better than Triple H. And by "the game," of course El Presidente refers to the most important skill for any professional wrestler: backstage politicking. Triple H backstage politicked his way into double-digit world championships and being presented as on par with far more popular stars like Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock by virtue of marrying the boss's daughter and not having any better options in Hollywood (Blade Trinity notwithstanding).

But Triple H screwed up when he agreed to appear on WWE Raw last night to fill in for Drew McIntyre, who tested positive for COVID-19. Triple H knows that you only agree to appear on Raw during WrestleMania season, the time between the Royal Rumble and WrestleMania, after Monday Night Football is over, when WWE's ratings are on the upswing and he can take credit for them. But instead, not only did Triple H agree to appear opposite the NCAA National Championship game between Alabama and Ohio State, but he also did it the week after WWE scored its highest ratings in months with Raw Legends Night. As a result, instead of getting credit for boosting ratings, Triple H is now to blame for a major decline. What a botch! Haw haw haw haw!

WWE drew an average of 1.819 million viewers, down from 2.128 million last week, off hours of 2.024 million viewers, 1.802 million viewers, and 1.632 million viewers for each of its three hours, in ratings as compiled by ShowBuzz Daily. That means that, even after learning Triple H would wrestle Randy Orton in the main event, nearly 400,000 people tuned out throughout the course of the night rather than wait to see The Cerebral Assassin in action. In the 18-49 demographic, Raw scored an average of .55 with hours of .62, .53, and .51. Raw was ranked 7th, 12th, and 16th for the night, with the first hour sandwiched between college football and cable news.

So does this mean that Triple H has forgotten how to play the game? It's a tremendous misstep one would never expect from one of the game's most legendary players. You would never see El Presidente screw up that badly. Well, I've got to go! I think I hear Mike Pence in the hallway looking for bibles and I want to chat him up about invoking the 25th Amendment. Until next time, my friends: socialism or death.

About El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!