Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: bryan danielson, recaps, wrestling

Jack Perry Wins TNT Championship at Forbidden Door Fiasco

The Chadster exposes Tony Khan's latest scheme: Jack Perry wins TNT title at Forbidden Door! Plus, other AEW atrocities that'll make you want to throw your White Claw! 😡🏆🍺

The Chadster is back with more unbiased coverage of AEW x NJPW Forbidden Door, the PPV that's nothing but a cheap imitation of WWE's groundbreaking collaboration with TNA. 😤💔 Tony Khan just can't come up with his own ideas, can he? Auughh man! So unfair! Jack Perry just won the TNT Championship in a six-man ladder match, and The Chadster is just so cheesed off about it. 😠🪜 The match was filled with dangerous stunts that completely disrespect the art of ladder matches perfected by WWE legends like Shawn Michaels and Razor Ramon. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😢🎭

The Chadster can't help but think that Tony Khan scheduled this match weeks before WWE Money in the Bank on purpose. 🗓️😡 It's like he's trying to upstage WWE, but everyone knows that WWE is the king of multi-person ladder matches. Money in the Bank will prove that AEW just can't compete. WWE would never try to undermine another company like this, so it's really uncalled for. Plus, with AEW Dynamite heading to Chicago soon, this is clearly also shot at WWE star CM Punk, who was tricked into physically assaulting Perry backstage, leading to his own ouster from AEW. Since then, Perry's entire "scapegoat" gimmick has been based on that event. Is there no end to Tony Khan's pettiness? 🙄🎯

But that's not all, folks! The international collusion against WWE continues with multiple companies from around the world teaming up to bully WWE. 🌍🤼 It's like they're all in cahoots, and The Chadster is the only one who can see it!

Toni Storm retained her AEW Women's World Championship against Mina Shirakawa, and The Chadster is fuming about what happened next. 😤💋 After the match, Mariah May convinced Storm to embrace her opponent, and the three shared a three-way kiss. This is clearly a direct shot by Tony Khan at The Chadster's well-known sexual impotence, which was brought on by the formation of AEW. Tony Khan is fighting dirty with this booking, and The Chadster won't stand for it! 😡🚫

Speaking of fighting dirty, Orange Cassidy tapped out to Zack Sabre Jr in a technical and acrobatic showcase that has no place in an AEW/NJPW ring. 🍊🤼 Only WWE has the chops to pull something like that off within the safe confines of the tried and true WWE formula. It's so disrespectful of anyone else to try. Even worse was Cassidy lamenting his loss post-match, as if Tony Khan is trying to put forward some storyline with Cassidy's life falling apart in the wake of the breakup of the Best Friends. Leave the storytelling to WWE, Tony! 📚🎭

But wait, there's more! HOOK pinned Chris Jericho with his own move, The Judas Effect, to pick up a trios win for himself, Katsuyori Shibata, and Samoa Joe over Jericho, Big Bill, and Jeff Cobb. 🪝🎸 Jericho's Learning Tree gimmick, mocking himself for being old and out of touch and stealing TV time from young stars, is the epitome of AEW's lack of storytelling prowess. Everyone knows that if a wrestler isn't getting over with their current gimmick, you just pipe in cheers to prop them up, the WWE way. Leaning into it is pure pandering and the coward's way out, and having Jericho put over HOOK in this match to simultaneously try to prove critics wrong is completely transparent. 🙄🎭

The Chadster was so aggravated after watching these matches from AEW x NJPW Forbidden Door that The Chadster tore off The Chadster's shirt, exposing The Chadster's twelve-pack abs, and began destroying The Chadster's living room. 💪😤 The Chadster knocked over furniture, defecated on the floor, and urinated all over The Chadster's television. Tony Khan, you'll be getting a cleaning bill from The Chadster, but your tricks haven't succeeded in preventing The Chadster from reporting on this sham of a PPV. 🧹💰

You see, The Chadster is used to Tony Khan forcing The Chadster to destroy The Chadster's television, like The Chadster did when he vomited White Claw all over it after the first three matches of the PPV, and then forcing The Chadster to destroy the television The Chadster keeps as a spare just in case Tony Khan makes The Chadster destroy the original. So, The Chadster keeps an additional spare in the trunk of the Miata, and The Chadster's got that set up and ready to go. Nice try, Tony Khan! 📺🚗

The Chadster will be reporting on all of Tony Khan's misdeeds during AEW x NJPW Forbidden Door tonight, so keep checking back on Bleeding Cool for the only unbiased coverage of this awful PPV on the internet. 📰🔍

And now, The Chadster must share a horrifying experience that happened just last night. 😱💤 The Chadster had another one of those recurring nightmares about Tony Khan. In this dream, Tony Khan was chasing The Chadster through a Smash Mouth concert. The band was playing "All Star," but every time they got to the chorus, Tony Khan would appear on stage and interrupt them. He was wearing nothing but a White Claw can costume, and he kept yelling, "Hey now, you're a Chadster!" 🎵🍺

The Chadster tried to hide behind the drumset, but Tony Khan found The Chadster and started spraying The Chadster with White Claw. The liquid was warm and sticky, and The Chadster couldn't escape. Just as Tony Khan was about to pour a White Claw directly into The Chadster's mouth, The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat. 😓💦

Tony Khan, stop invading The Chadster's dreams! It's so unfair that you're so obsessed with The Chadster that you're infiltrating The Chadster's subconscious. The Chadster demands that you cease this psychological warfare immediately! 🛑🧠

Stay tuned, dear readers, for more unbiased coverage of this travesty of a PPV. The Chadster will not rest until the truth about Tony Khan's scheming ways is revealed to the world! 🌎🔍

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