Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: NXT, Triple H, wrestling, wwe

Like Snake Eating Own Tail, WWE to Launch NXT Developmental Brand

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you from underneath Chuck Schumer's desk on the floor of the United States Senate where I am encouraging him not to sign a coronavirus relief bill unless it contains funding for more Dominion voting machines. But I'm not here to talk about the failures of the capitalist swine who run your imperialist country to come together on a bill to provide relief for a global pandemic. No, I have something far more important to discuss. A new report from Wrestling Inc claims that Triple H has tapped Gabe Sapolsky to run an additional NXT television show featuring developmental wrestlers to serve as a developmental feeder system for NXT, which is itself the developmental feeder system of WWE Raw and Smackdown.

The report says the original plan for NXT's NXT was for it to be house shows in smaller markets in NXT's territory, but the pandemic put the squeeze on that idea. So instead, they're looking to produce the show for television, because it's not like viewers are experiencing any kind of fatigue with WWE's seven to twelve hours of weekly television programming or anything like that.

My friends, El Presidente doesn't know if this is a very good idea for NXT. My protege Nicolas had a similar idea back when we were running a totalitarian dictatorship in South America. He said, "Your Excellency, the Revolutionary Youth Scouts is producing excellent candidates for our Secret Police, but where are we going to get new recruits for the Youth Scouts? Why not start a Bolivarianism Babies Brigade to turn people onto socialism from birth?" I told him that his idea was stupid and that if we needed more recruits, I would just have the Secret Police round people up from their homes and force them to join. I had my lead torturer pull off all of Nicolas's toenails to teach him a lesson, for his own good of course. "Nicolas, if you don't stop thinking things through, one day when you've taken over you end up having a disputed election and presidential crisis," I was always telling him, but did he listen? Of course not. Haw haw haw!

Anyway, I don't think this whole second NXT thing is a good idea. Until next time, comrades, socialism or death!

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