According to a new dirt sheet rumor, WWE has run out of people to fire and is now firing people who don't even work there! Shane McMahon, who is reportedly not under contract to WWE, has reportedly been fired by the company for ruining the Royal Rumble!
Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, bringing you the latest wrestling news and hot goss burning up the dirt sheets and the IWC. This latest report comes from the always-reliable Ringside News, claiming that Vince McMahon has "quietly" fired Shane McMahon after the Best in the World was blamed for botching the Royal Rumble booking. Haw haw haw haw! Someone has got to take the fall, comrade!
This year's Rumble was disappointing to most viewers, not because it was particularly worse than the rest of WWE's terrible weekly programming, but because people tend to have higher expectations for the Rumble. While the Women's Royal Rumble match at least featured multiple legends to garner nostalgia pops and the return of Ronda Rousey so that fans can boo her as a babyface while WWE inserts fake crowd noise from the WWE 2k video game series to make it seem like people are actually cheering, the Men's Royal Rumble match was an absolute wasteland of boring wrestlers, boring action, and a predictable and boring outcome as Brock Lesnar returned to win the Rumble.
The only "surprise" in the match was the return of Shane McMahon himself, who, according to backstage rumors, was also heavily involved in producing the match, and the wrestlers involved were just as disappointed as fans were. When the Royal Rumble, meant to kick off the excitement of WrestleMania season, otherwise known as the only time of year WWE comes close to being entertaining, went over like a wet fart, someone had to take the fall.
And so, according to Ringside News, Shane McMahon has been "quietly let go" by his own father, Vince McMahon, despite rumors Shane would appear regularly on WWE Raw and have a match at WrestleMania. But there's just one problem: even by the admission of Ringside News itself in the same report, Shane McMahon isn't actually an employee of WWE. So how can you fire someone who doesn't even technically work there? Well, comrades, when it comes to WWE, if there's a will, there's a way. Besides, it's better than Vince McMahon taking ultimate responsibility for producing a bland and boring product for the last twenty years.
Of course, it's important to take rumors like this with a grain of salt… that is if you can get your hands on any, thanks to supply chain issues. Until next time, comrades, remember: socialism or death!