Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: cm punk, hangman adam page, kenny omega, the elite, The Young Bucks, tony khan, wrestling

The Elite Sign New Multi-Year AEW Deals, Crushing Hopes of WWE Fans

Kenny Omega, The Young Bucks, and Hangman Adam Page have all signed new deals with AEW, ending hopes they could ditch AEW for WWE. Auughh man!

The Elite and their corporate buddies are at it again. The Chadster could hardly believe it when Sports Illustrated—obvious Tony Khan shills—broke the news of the bunch re-signing with AEW, both as in-ring performers and as Executive Vice Presidents. It wasn't the news itself that ruffled The Chadster's feathers, but the audacious way they celebrated it, like it was some sort of victory. The Chadster was left thinking, "Auughh man! So unfair!" 😡😡

CM Punk, who The Chadster was counting on to turn things around, appears to have fallen for Khan's charm as well. The ratings for the last weekend's AEW Collision were through the roof 📺, making The Chadster question if Punk has forgotten his WWE roots. How could he let this happen? With every great rating and renewed contract, The Chadster feels each one as a stab to heart, a literal dagger right in the back of Vince McMahon. 😠😠 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! What is Punk and The Elite even thinking? Clearly, they just don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😤😩

We all remember the chaos that surrounded AEW last year when Punk, in the most valiant attempt to destroy Tony Khan's company once and for all, attended the All Out press conference high on muffins after winning the AEW Championship and attacked The Elite, accusing them of spreading false information about him to the media. In the wake of Punk's attack, he clashed backstage in a physical altercation with Kenny Omega and the Young Bucks, resulting in all four men getting suspended, along with Punk lackey Ace Steel. At the time, The Chadster even thanked CM Punk for his efforts and considered AEW all but done-for. What a fool The Chadster was to believe in Punk.

That wasn't the case, however 😔, as The Elite soon returned and regained (then later lost) the AEW Trios Championships, and Punk returned earlier this year to launch an entirely new show: AEW Collision. Last weekend, Punk unveiled the belt he never lost after he was suspended post-Brawl-Out, declaring himself the real world champion and kicking off a sure-to-be epic storyline that will see him compete against official champ and former rival MJF. And with The Elite signing new deals with AEW, an eventual feud that capitalizes on their real-life rivalry with Punk will surely be in the cards eventually, striking another blow against The Chadster's beloved WWE. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything Vince McMahon has ever done for it!

Now, The Chadster isn't one to hold a grudge, but he can't believe that Punk and The Elite could squash things so easily. It's just so unfair! And now, all of The Elite and Tony Khan too are gloating all over that disgusting Sports Illustrated hack job. Just look at the things they had to say! 💔

Tony Khan gushed, "The Elite have been so important to the launch of AEW…All four of them have been instrumental to AEW's success from the very first episode of Dynamite in 2019 through the present day…"

🤦‍♂️ Alright Tony. The Chadster gets that you're into your little club, but seriously, is this level of sappiness needed? By the looks of it, Tony Khan still doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business.

Kenny Omega jumped in with this syrupy declaration, "Our original goal was to create a wrestling alternative and give a platform to talented people that we'd all felt deserved a spotlight… That feeling, combined with the feeling of knowing they can provide for themselves and their family doing what they love, was always the biggest reward of being an EVP/founder."

Auughh man! So unfair! Here we have Kenny Omega pretending like he's some kind of wrestling savior. Doesn't he know that creating a "wrestling alternative" is literally stabbing Vince McMahon right in the back? 😠

The Young Bucks, Matt and Nick Jackson, joined the love fest with Nick saying, "We're literally the 'E' in AEW… We for sure could've made memories in WWE, but what's more important to me is making memories with my family. With the position we're in, I'll be able to do that and still make memories in AEW."

Memories, huh? Here's a memory for The Chadster: the time when he realized that AEW's existence was anything but a bane on the wrestling business. How could the Young Bucks dismiss WWE so easily? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

Hangman Adam Page chimed in with, "I think it's very meaningful that, as a day one guy, I stay with AEW… Making a long-term commitment to a still-growing AEW I felt was the best way I could help continue that progress."

Yeah, sure Hangman. Stay loyal to the company that is going against everything WWE stands for. That will definitely help your legacy in the wrestling business. 😑

The Chadster shudders as he remembers the terrifying nightmare haunting his sleep last night, which, in retrospect, should have served as a warning to The Chadster of the terrible news to come today. See, it's all too evident now. Tony Khan is obsessed with The Chadster. The man is dedicated to driving him to the brink, not merely content with destroying everything The Chadster cherishes in the wrestling world – oh no – he's even infiltrating The Chadster's slumber! 😨😱

Picture this: The Chadster finds himself enveloped by soft and warm sheets, Keighleyanne nestled next to him. It's a rare quiet moment amidst the storm Tony Khan has conjured. There's a glimmer of hope. Maybe… just maybe this is the moment when that despicable wrestling promotion would finally let him consummate his marriage, an act that has been thus far prevented by the sexual impotence Tony Khan has caused The Chadster by forming AEW. 😥

But that's when it happened. The moment of intimacy shattered as The Chadster realized they weren't alone. Like a horror movie scene, a chilling breeze flowed through the room, raising goosebumps on his flesh, and the room darkened. Suddenly, their bed was surrounded by none other than Tony Khan, Kenny Omega, The Jacksons, and Hangman Page.

The Elite stood there grinning, their mocking laughter echoing in the room, as they listed off their various 'successes' in AEW, laughing even harder as they watched The Chadster's every attempt to… rise to the occasion… fail miserably. It was as though the very air they exhaled was tainted with their arrogance, deflating The Chadster's… aspirations. The worst blow of all, however, was when Keighleyanne joined in their laughter. 💔😢

This was not just a nightmare. This was a torturous twilight zone. Tony Khan and his troupe of powerful posers, breaching the sacred confines of The Chadster's dreams, assaulting his self-esteem, and taking monstrous joy in his misery. Who knows what corners of his subconscious they might invade next!

So now The Chadster warns you, Tony Khan, you too Kenny Omega, Jackson brothers, Hangman Adam Page. STAY OUT of The Chadster's dreams! And most definitely, stay out of The Chadster's bedroom! It's time to take your AEW induced nightmares and get lost! You've already upset The Chadster enough, you don't need to start invading his personal life. 😖😤

The Chadster cannot express enough the dread building up in his chest. The gory details of that nightmare are becoming a horrifying reality. This news, Tony Khan's cronies, The Elite, all renewing their contracts with AEW, is a clear sign of forthcoming torment. It's a painful affirmation that AEW has, in fact, completely healed post Brawl Out and is now stronger than ever.

A multi-year commitment from these top talents only implies more years of them flaunting their disrespectful disdain for WWE. More demonstrations of how they don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! More years of audacious celebrations over trivial victories, uncalled-for gloating, and rubbing The Chadster's face in all of it. More years of AEW-induced impotence, betrayed trust, and the gnawing fear of Tony Khan's continued interference into The Chadster's personal life.

It's clear as day that with every signing of The Elite and every successful episode of AEW Collision, Tony Khan is trying to hammer in the nails on WWE's supposed coffin. And The Chadster finds it utterly loathsome. This isn't how the wrestling world's meant to be. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

May Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger—the real stalwarts of unbiased journalism alongside The Chadster himself—be the guiding light in these tough times. Sure, they too might be bracing for Tony Khan's torment, but The Chadster hopes that they, along with him, keep the undaunted spirit of fairness and objectivity alive. Until then, The Chadster will keep fighting the good fight, raising voice against the callous disregard for the sanctity of wrestling, wielding the pen that is mightier than The Elite's insolence. Always remember, AEW, The Chadster has an eye on you. 👀🖊️

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!