Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: cm punk, Roman Reigns, Stephanie McMahon, Triple H, Wrestlemania, wrestling

Welcome to WWE's Can't STFU WrestleMania Week PR Nightmare

El Presidente reports on WWE's foot-in-mouth epidemic during WrestleMania week! Triple H, Roman Reigns, John Cena - it seems nobody in WWE knows when to STFU!

Greetings, comrades! It is I, El Presidente, reporting to you live from my gold-plated panic room beneath my summer palace, where I am currently hiding from both the American CIA and the WWE legal department!

It is WrestleMania week, comrades, and naturally, during their biggest week of the year, the WWE PR machine is firing on all cylinders, promoting the show, bashing AEW, and celebrating the magnificent capitalist spectacle of sports entertainment. Unfortunately, the executives and talent seem to have a knack for putting their feet in their mouths this year. Or perhaps it's just a return to arrogance for a company that has been coasting on goodwill since ousting Vince McMahon. This reminds me of the time Fidel and I tried to run our own wrestling promotion in Cuba, but all our wrestlers kept defecting to Florida. Most unfortunate!

First up, let us discuss how McMahon's son-in-law, and also the son-in-law of President Donald Trump's Secretary of Education, Linda McMahon, heaped praise upon the WWE Hall-of-Famer, despite WWE crowds recently booing Hulk Hogan after his full-throated support of MAGA, and after Canadian fans even booed the United States National Anthem after Trump's economic and political war on U.S. allies.

Triple H told the Flagrant Podcast: "I think Trump's ability as an orator – like him or hate him – the way he does it, he's charismatic in so many ways. I think he likes getting under people's skin. I think he likes generating heat the way he does. It's amazing and it's genius and it worked in our business."

He continued, according to a transcription of the comments from The Independent: "There's a lot of billionaires in the world – why was he the most famous one? Why was he the one that was in People Magazine every week and with everybody under the sun? Why was he seen as the epitome of that billionaire status? Because of his charisma and his character and who he is, and the way he can speak about it and do all those things. He just captivates people."

Comrades, this reminds me of when my good friend Kim Jong-un tried to convince me that his father invented professional wrestling. I had to show him VHS tapes of Andre the Giant to prove otherwise!

But it's not just the unsurprisingly MAGA Haitch coming out in support of the controversial president. Even the Tribal Chief Roman Reigns, who, in an interview with Vanity Fair, revealed he's a registered Democrat and implied he voted for Kamala Harris, expressed his support for Trump, who has spent his first hundred days in office dismantling the government, deporting immigrants to El Salvadoran megaprisons, and tanking the stock market with tariffs.

Roman told Vanity Fair: "I support our president. Trump is one of those guys where he's got a vast history and a huge background. He's been in entertainment. He's been in big business, politics. At this point, I'm supporting a bright future for our country."

He added, "It's like he needs that adversary. He needs that opposition to bounce off of. He needs that competitive motivation or something. To be honest, the world seems to be more like wrestling than any other form of entertainment."

This flip-flopping reminds me of when I had to quickly change my allegiance from the Soviet Union to China in 1991. Very awkward Christmas card list that year, comrades!

Meanwhile, Stephanie McMahon, who recently returned to the WWE fold after taking time off following the scandals of her father, launched a new podcast and declared that the show's number one rule is "no douchebags." Unfortunately, this rule was revealed on the first episode, where her guest was literally the king of all douchebags, UFC honcho Dana White.

According to a transcription from Fightful, on the What's Your Story Podcast, Stephanie declared: "No douchebags on the show. Working on the show. Guests on the show. Anybody. No douchebags allowed. That was the original rule."

To which Dana White replied: "Douchebags are an unfortunate part of life. You gotta interview some douchebags that everybody would like to hear. Unfortunately, there is no getting around the douchebags."

This is wisdom I can relate to, comrades. In my own cabinet, I have instituted a "no douchebags" rule, yet somehow my Minister of Propaganda, who is also Dana White, keeps showing up to meetings!

Could WWE's epic PR fails get any worse? Well, you haven't heard what John Cena had to say in a New York Times interview about the disgraced Vince McMahon, who was forced out of WWE amidst an ongoing sexual misconduct scandal that has seen payouts of millions of dollars to multiple women accusing the former WWE CEO of heinous acts. According to Cena, he loves McMahon anyway.

Cena told the New York Times: "I don't care who hears it: I love Vince. I'm not downplaying anything that needs to be decided or allegations of any kind, but when I love somebody, I love them wholeheartedly."

He added: "I know people are going to be angry about that, but they can't put their value on my relationship with somebody I love."

Is there anyone in WWE who can do a promotional interview without landing the company in hot water? Enter CM Punk, the voice of the voiceless, finally someone to set things straight. Punk unleashed on Trump and MAGA in an interview with The Masked Man Show.

According to a transcription from Fightful, Punk said: "I don't think the company wants us to be outwardly political. I don't think, and I do feel there is probably different rules for different people." He continued, "I think it's pretty obvious what my 'politics' are. I've never understood Democratic or Republican glazing President. [The] President should just do his job."

Punk didn't stop there, adding: "If you're wearing hats and shirts promoting the President and all that stuff, and we have very much seen recently all these people who have voted against their best interests because they thought this President was just going to do bad stupid shit to the people they don't like. I can sort of draw a line in the sand…"

Finally, someone talking sense! Now, as long as Punk can just stay quiet and avoid demonstrating once again how his personal benefit outweighs his ideals every time, WWE can finally walk away with a win. Except, Punk continued in that very same interview:

"It's a strange, ugly world out there. The only thing I can do is be true to myself and implement and be a voice for myself and my family and my community, and then the world. I don't know what people want from us as entertainers. I'm just supposed to quit my job because somebody on Twitter says WWE is a 'MAGA company?' Okay. You're on Lord Elon Musk's fucking Twitter saying stupid shit. Shut the fuck up."

Sigh. So as long as WWE is paying Punk millions of dollars and giving him that WrestleMania main event he always wanted (that isn't actually the real main event since it's happening on night one), the fans should just STFU about the hypocrisy of collaborating with a company and leadership that are at complete odds with his beliefs.

Ironically, that's one thing he and Triple H can actually agree on. In another interview, Haitch expressed his desire that fans would just ignore WWE's inability to STFU and STFU themselves, gratefully accepting WWE's product without any critical thought like good fans ought to. It may be the most Vince McMahon-like thing Triple H has ever said, which is saying something. Will the arrogant booking style of his disgraced mentor soon follow?

Triple H told Peter Rosenberg on Youtube: "This will sound defensive. I wish I could tell people 'fuck off' being a critic. Be a fan. Go watch this and be a fan."

Ah, WWE. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Quick, someone get to trashing AEW and fire up the podcast grifters and astroturfing social media bots before some of this bad publicity sticks!

This reminds me of when the American CIA tried to overthrow my government by releasing embarrassing footage of me dancing to "Baby Shark" at a state function. I simply responded by making it our new national anthem! Perhaps WWE could learn from my brilliant crisis management, comrades!

Until next time, this has been El Presidente, reporting for the glorious people's news source, Bleeding Cool! ¡Viva la revolución del entretenimiento deportivo!

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