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Comrades! El Presidente reports on WWE Raw's Netflix debut from his LA bunker. Cena, Rhodes, and more to wrestle as Travis Scott's music plays. Viva la wrestling revolution!
Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, NXT, Tuesday Night Ratings Wars, undertaker, wrestling
Will WWE Bring Back The Undertaker for a NXT vs. AEW Ratings Battle?
Comrades, according to the latest rumors, WWE may call upon The Undertaker to rise again on NXT next week in hopes of causing AEW Dynamite to rest in peace!
Greetings, comrades! El Presidente is speaking to you from the gilded Jacuzzi of his secret mountain fortress, located precariously on the edge of an active volcano. Today, I have some juicy gossip fresh off the wrestling mat for you. It seems the WWE, still nursing the wounds of defeat from the notorious Wednesday Night Ratings Wars, is summoning warriors of old to reclaim the honor of NXT. The whispers I hear between my loyal subjects and the loose-tongued parrots that make the WWE headquarters their plaything, speak of no one less than The Undertaker.
What?! The Undertaker making an appearance on NXT?! Such is the rumor abuzz. I recall a time when I sat down with my amigo Fidel Castro, third rum in hand, gazing at The Undertaker's relentless pursuit of glory – an inspiration to even the toughest dictators. Now, the spies lurking in the day's shadow, specifically those at PWInsider, claim The Deadman himself will be in sunny Orlando next week. The cunning minds at WWE, however, are playing coy about this tantalizing piece of news, leaving us comrades in suspense.
My comrades, do you remember when AEW Dynamite mercilessly crushed NXT in the initial Wednesday Night Ratings Wars? Back then, I was watching from my fortress in Siberia, rooting for an underdog victory while the CIA tried to jam my satellite reception. Now, the battlefield is set again, but in Tuesday's arena this time. And it appears WWE is pulling out the big guns, including potentially The Undertaker, who has been retired since November of 2020 and wrestled his last match earlier that year at WrestleMania.
In addition to wrestling heavyweights like Becky Lynch, Dominik Mysterio, and Baron Corbin, who have been featured on NXT in recent weeks, John Cena and Paul Heyman are scheduled to be in the building next week to be in the corners of Carmelo Hayes and Bron Breakker. Asuka will also be there to wrestle a match, and Cody Rhodes is set to share a special announcement on the show. There haven't been this many big names in one place on a Tuesday night since Xi Jinping invited the dictators club to a Mahjong tournament celebrating the thirtieth anniversary of the Tiananmen Square massacre! Oh, what a fun time we had that night.
Yet, even though I admire WWE's tenacity in this great skirmish of televised wrestling, I can't help but smile at their desperation. Ah, reminds me of my CIA adversaries when they realize my affinity for American pop culture can't be broken. WWE's plans also remind me of a strategy session with Kim Jong Un, robust in theory but swinging wildly in action.
Still, The Undertaker on NXT might just tip the scales. Or perhaps WWE should also consider bringing back other legends, like The Rock, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Hulk Hogan, or even Ric Flair, who surely has at least one more match in him! In fact, why stick to living wrestlers? With the current advancements in AI technology, why not bring back deceased wrestlers as well. Macho Man Randy Savage? The Ultimate Warrior? Andre the Giant? Anything to bring back the glory days of epic WWE victories and strongman regime stability, no? Either way, the next week will be filled with suspense and sensational drama in the wrestling world. Until then, hold onto your luchador masks and keep living the revolution. This is El Presidente, signing off for now. Viva la lucha libre!
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