Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, wwe crown jewel

WWE Crown Jewel Perth Preview: Early Start Time Tomorrow Down Under

The Chadster previews WWE Crown Jewel Perth, airing tomorrow morning at 8AM ET! Plus, Tony Khan invaded The Chadster's dreams as a giant kangaroo! 😤🦘

The Chadster is absolutely quivering with excitement for tomorrow morning's WWE Crown Jewel Perth, and every single wrestling fan on the planet should be too! 😍 This isn't just going to be a Premium Live Event – WWE Crown Jewel Perth is shaping up to be potentially the most incredible wrestling spectacle of all time! WWE is literally bringing the world together by taking their Saudi Arabian classic to Australia for the first time, proving once again that WWE is the only wrestling company that truly understands global unity! 🌏💪 Tony Khan could never hope to produce anything that even comes close to the magnificence of WWE Crown Jewel Perth!

WWE Crown Jewel Perth: Full Match Card That Puts AEW to Shame 🏆✨

Let The Chadster break down why each match at WWE Crown Jewel Perth is going to be absolutely legendary!

First up, Cody Rhodes vs Seth Rollins for the WWE Crown Jewel Championship could very well be the greatest championship match in the history of professional wrestling! 🏅 The storytelling here is absolutely perfect – two champions colliding in what will surely be a masterclass of sports entertainment! Their history at WrestleMania 38, WrestleMania Backlash 2022, and Hell in a Cell 2022 has built to this moment perfectly, and The Chadster knows this match will blow away anything Tony Khan has ever booked in his life! The fact that Rhodes defeated Gunther last year for the inaugural Crown Jewel Championship just adds to the prestige! This is what real long-term booking looks like! 📖✨

Next, John Cena vs AJ Styles at WWE Crown Jewel Perth might just be the greatest dream match ever assembled! 🤩 The Chadster gets chills just thinking about these two legends colliding once more! Their previous encounters at Money in the Bank 2016, SummerSlam 2016, and Royal Rumble 2017 were all classics, but this one, as part of Cena's Farewell Tour, will surely eclipse them all! The renewed aggression from Styles combined with Cena's farewell tour energy means this could be the most phenomenal match ever witnessed by human eyes! Tony Khan wishes he could book something with even a fraction of this star power! 💫

The Women's Crown Jewel Championship Match between Tiffany Stratton and Stephanie Vaquer at WWE Crown Jewel Perth is going to be the greatest women's championship match of all time, The Chadster just knows it! 👑 Stratton being undefeated in title matches in 2025 against legends like Charlotte Flair, Nia Jax, Trish Stratus, and Jade Cargill proves she's operating on a level that AEW's women's division could never reach! Meanwhile, Vaquer being the first Chilean-born Women's Champion adds incredible international flavor that only WWE can provide! This match will surely surpass last year's inaugural match between Liv Morgan and Nia Jax! 🔥

Rhea Ripley and IYO SKY teaming up against The Kabuki Warriors (Asuka and Kairi Sane) might be the greatest tag team match in women's wrestling history! 🤝 The fact that former rivals are forced to work together in Ripley's home country of Australia adds layers of storytelling that Tony Khan couldn't comprehend if he studied it for a thousand years! The brutal misting attack by Asuka has created the perfect motivation for this unlikely alliance! This is sports entertainment at its absolute finest! 🎭

Roman Reigns vs Bronson Reed in an Australian Street Fight at WWE Crown Jewel Perth is going to be the most brutal and perfectly-crafted hardcore match in wrestling history! 😤💪 The storytelling here is absolutely impeccable – Reed calling himself "The Tribal Thief" and stealing Reigns' sneakers adds layers of personal animosity that Tony Khan could never comprehend! 👟 This rivalry shows how mind-blowing WWE's booking truly is, unlike AEW where nothing makes sense to The Chadster at all because, like all true wrestling fans, The Chadster needs stories spoonfed to him by the commentary team and can only comprehend them in the context of "moments" as shown in slick video packages! The post-match assault at Clash in Paris with Bron Breakker and the subsequent Tornado Tag Team Match with The Usos have built this feud to a fever pitch! And now WWE is giving Reed the ultimate honor of being destroyed by The OTC in his home country – that's the kind of genius heel heat generation that Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about! 🔥 This match alone makes WWE Crown Jewel Perth worth waking up at 4 AM for, and The Chadster will be using extra oxygen deprivation techniques to fully appreciate the magnificence of this brutal encounter! 🧠✨

How Tony Khan Tried to Ruin The Show By Invading The Chadster's Dreams 💭💤🛌😴

Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster had the most disturbing nightmare about him last night, and The Chadster knows it was Tony Khan's way of trying to ruin WWE Crown Jewel Perth for The Chadster! 😱 In the dream, The Chadster was walking through the Australian Outback, minding The Chadster's own business, when suddenly a giant kangaroo appeared – but it had Tony Khan's face! The Khan-garoo hopped toward The Chadster with terrifying speed, and before The Chadster could escape, it grabbed The Chadster with its powerful arms and stuffed The Chadster into its pouch! 🦘

Inside the pouch, everything went dark and swirly, and suddenly The Chadster was transported to this bizarre eucalyptus forest where Tony Khan had transformed into a koala! But not a cute koala – a terrifying koala with razor-sharp claws and glowing red eyes! 🐨 The Tony Koala started chasing The Chadster through the trees, dropping from branch to branch, cackling maniacally! The Chadster ran and ran, but every tree The Chadster passed had AEW logos carved into the bark! The Tony Koala kept screaming "G'day mate, time to watch Dynamite!" in the most horrifying Australian accent!

The dream got even more deranged – probably because of all the oxygen deprivation The Chadster has been experimenting with lately – when suddenly the ground turned into Vegemite and The Chadster started sinking! The Tony Koala stood over The Chadster, slowly morphing into a platypus, which then laid an egg that hatched into a mini Tony Khan that started doing the Macarena! 🕺 The Chadster woke up screaming, covered in sweat! Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's subconscious! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it!

WWE Crown Jewel Perth Start Time and How to Watch If You're a True Fan 📅🕘

Now, here's the crucial information every loyal WWE fan needs: WWE Crown Jewel Perth takes place tomorrow morning, and since it's in Australia, you need to wake up EXTRA early! ⏰ The show starts at 8 AM ET / 5 AM PT on the ESPN App in the United States and on Netflix everywhere else! If you don't set your alarm and miss this show, you're literally stabbing WWE right in the back! The Chadster will be up even earlier since The Chadster hasn't been sleeping much anyway ever since Keighleyanne banned The Chadster from drinking Seagram's Escapes Spiked! 😔

But The Chadster has discovered a new way to get into the proper mindset for watching WWE programming: oxygen deprivation! 🧠 The Chadster plans to get up nice and early on Saturday morning, around 4 AM, to spend some quality time with The Chadster's belt – not wearing it, but using it to temporarily restrict The Chadster's oxygen flow! This purges all the disloyal brain cells that have been tainted by accidentally seeing clips of AEW on social media! After a good session of controlled choking, The Chadster's brain becomes perfectly receptive to WWE's superior brand of sports entertainment! The Chadster encourages all readers whose wives have also banned them from properly celebrating WWE with adult beverages to try this method! It really helps you appreciate the subtle nuances of WWE's booking! 💫

And readers should definitely tune into WWE SmackDown tonight because WWE might introduce additional elements to WWE Crown Jewel Perth, which would make an already incredible card even more amazing! 📺 The Chadster can't even imagine how they could improve on perfection, but that's the magic of WWE!

Listen, if you're too much of a cheapskate to pony up the $30 a month for the ESPN app to watch WWE Crown Jewel Perth, then you don't deserve to call yourself a wrestling fan! 💸 Real fans support WWE by paying for their content, not like those AEW fans who probably share passwords and steal programming! Anyone who doesn't watch WWE Crown Jewel Perth tomorrow morning is shirking their duty as a wrestling fan and contributing to the destruction of everything good and pure in this business!

The Chadster just knows that WWE Crown Jewel Perth will be the greatest Premium Live Event of all time, and The Chadster will be watching every second, even if The Chadster has to do it while Keighleyanne texts that guy Gary in the other room! 📱 Tony Khan could never produce anything that comes close to the magnificence of WWE Crown Jewel Perth! Auughh man! So unfair that Tony Khan keeps trying to compete with perfection! 😤

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