Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw in the Penta Era Review: Lo Siento Mucho, Tony Khan

The Chadster reviews WWE Raw's Penta-stic debut! Tony Khan's nightmares come true as WWE proves once again why it's the pinnacle of pro wrestling. 🔥

Auughh man! The Chadster can hardly contain his excitement after watching last night's episode of WWE Raw! 😍🎉 It was absolutely incredible from start to finish, and The Chadster is still buzzing with joy. This is what real wrestling is all about, folks! 👏👏👏

The show kicked off with a bang as CM Punk arrived at the arena to a thunderous ovation. 🔥 Punk cut an amazing promo, declaring his intention to enter the Royal Rumble. But then, wouldn't you know it, Seth Rollins and Drew McIntyre had to come out and interrupt! 😤 The Chadster loved how Punk held his own against both of them, proving why he's one of the best in the business. It's just so obvious that WWE knows how to book top stars, unlike Tony Khan, who wouldn't know how to book a library, let alone a wrestling show! 📚🤣

But the highlight of the night, without a doubt, was the debut of Penta! 🎭🔥 The Chadster has to admit, he's never been a fan of Penta before. After all, Penta spent so much time wrestling in the mud shows without coming up through the proper WWE developmental system and paying his dues the right way. But now that Penta has seen the light and joined the big leagues, The Chadster can finally appreciate his talent! 👏

Penta's match against Chad Gable was absolutely phenomenal. 🌟🌟🌟🌟 The way Penta moved in the ring, his innovative offense, and that incredible finish – it was all perfect! And then, his bilingual promo afterwards? Chef's kiss! 👨‍🍳💋 In just one appearance, Penta has already become a bigger star than anyone in AEW. It just goes to show that Tony Khan never knew how to properly utilize Penta's talents. WWE has once again proven why they're the pinnacle of professional wrestling! 🏆

The Chadster was also thoroughly impressed by the hard-hitting match between Sheamus and Ludwig Kaiser. 💪 It was a true display of European strong style, with both men laying into each other with stiff strikes and powerful moves. Sheamus coming out on top was the right call, and The Chadster can't wait to see him face off against Bron Breakker at Saturday Night's Main Event! This is the kind of physical, no-nonsense wrestling that AEW could only dream of producing. 😤

Speaking of dominant performances, how about that Gunther promo? 💪 The Ring General came out and put the entire roster on notice. When Jey Uso tried to challenge him, Gunther shut him down with facts and logic. It's just so refreshing to see a champion who carries himself with such dignity and dominance. Tony Khan could learn a thing or two about booking strong champions! 📝

The Women's Intercontinental Championship match between Dakota Kai and Lyra Valkyria was a thing of beauty. 👑 The Chadster was on the edge of his seat throughout the entire bout. Lyra winning her first main roster title was a great moment, and it just goes to show how deep and talented WWE's women's division is. Take notes, Tony Khan – this is how you book women's wrestling! 📓

The Chadster also has to give major props to Rhea Ripley for her dominant performance as the Women's World Champion. 👑 Her promo was interrupted by Nia Jax and Bayley, leading to an intense confrontation. The way these three powerful women stood toe-to-toe was electric! It's clear that the women's division on WWE Raw is hotter than ever. Meanwhile, AEW's women's division is about as exciting as watching paint dry. 🎨😴

The match between The Miz and Sami Zayn was short but sweet. 🍭 Sami picking up the win was a nice surprise, and The Chadster can't wait to see where this storyline goes. It's just another example of how WWE knows how to make every minute of TV time count!

And that street fight between Finn Balor and Damian Priest for the main event? Pure brutality and excitement, especially when The War Raiders came out after the match! 💥 This is the kind of hardcore action that AEW wishes it could produce!

It's clear that WWE Raw is firing on all cylinders right now. 🔥 The storylines are compelling, the matches are top-notch, and the production value is unmatched. Tony Khan must be shaking in his boots, realizing he can never compete with this level of excellence! 😂

Now, The Chadster has to share something disturbing. Last night, after watching WWE Raw, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan. 😱 In the dream, The Chadster was at a lucha libre museum, admiring all the masks on display. Suddenly, Tony Khan appeared, wearing Penta's mask! He started chasing The Chadster through the museum, throwing up the "cero miedo" hand gesture. The Chadster tried to escape, but Khan kept teleporting in front of him, shouting, "es hora de Penta!" , which The Chadster later learned from spending hours on Duolingo means "It's Penta time!" in Spanish. Just as Khan was about to hit The Chadster with a package piledriver, The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat. 😰 It's so unfair that Tony Khan is invading The Chadster's dreams like this! When will he stop being so obsessed with The Chadster?

In conclusion, WWE Raw continues to prove why it's the best wrestling show on television. 📺🏆 From CM Punk's promo to Penta's debut, from Sheamus vs Kaiser to the Women's Intercontinental Championship match, and from Rhea Ripley's dominance to the brutal street fight, every segment was a home run. The Chadster can't wait to see what WWE Raw has in store for us next week! And to Tony Khan: stop trying to compete with perfection. You'll never measure up to the unbiased journalism of The Chadster! 🎤⬇️

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