Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw Preview; Plus: Tony Khan's Insane Jealousy Exposed

The Chadster previews tonight's WWE Raw, the greatest show ever! 🔥 Why AEW can't compete! 🚫 Tune in or stab Triple H in the back! 🔪

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed the heck up right now, because The Chadster has the honor of writing about tonight's episode of WWE Raw, which is going to be so amazing that it's literally going to make Tony Khan cry. 😭 Auughh man! So unfair to Tony Khan! 🙄

Tonight's WWE Raw is shaping up to be potentially the most incredible wrestling show of all time, and The Chadster isn't just saying that because The Chadster is completely unbiased, as everyone knows. 💯 The lineup for WWE Raw is so stacked that The Chadster wouldn't be surprised if Tony Khan is already drafting his resignation letter. 📝

First up on WWE Raw, we've got Seth "Freakin" Rollins taking on Bronson Reed. 🔥 This match is going to be so good that it's literally going to make Tony Khan question why he ever got into the wrestling business. The Chadster can already picture Tony Khan watching WWE Raw and realizing that he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦‍♂️

But that's not all! WWE Raw is also giving us an Intercontinental Championship match between Bron Breakker and Sheamus. 🏆 The Chadster is sure this match will be a hard-hitting banger that will make anything on AEW look like a pillow fight. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it that Tony Khan thinks he can compete with this level of talent. 😤

Speaking of talent, WWE Raw is also featuring a mixed tag team match with Chad Gable and Ivy Nile taking on Rey Mysterio and Zelina Vega. 👫 The Chadster bets Tony Khan is wishing he had this kind of star power on his roster. But instead, he's probably sitting at home, obsessing over The Chadster and trying to figure out how to ruin The Chadster's life even more. 😒

And if all that wasn't enough, WWE Raw is giving us The War Raiders battling "Dirty" Dominik Mysterio and Carlito. 💪 This match is going to be so good that it might actually cure The Chadster's erectile dysfunction, which is Tony Khan's fault in the first place. 🍆

The Chadster has to say, any wrestling fan who doesn't tune into WWE Raw tonight is literally stabbing Triple H right in the back. 🔪 And if you think AEW is more fun to watch than this, well, The Chadster hates to break it to you, but you clearly don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤷‍♂️

The Chadster would love to keep gushing about how amazing WWE Raw is going to be tonight, but The Chadster needs to go prepare. And by prepare, The Chadster means stock up on White Claw seltzer, because The Chadster has a feeling he's going to need it. 🍹

Speaking of White Claw, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan last night. The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata down a lonely highway, singing along to Smash Mouth's "All Star," when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror. He was riding a giant White Claw can like a horse, chasing after The Chadster and shouting, "I'm going to make AEW better than Raw!" The Chadster tried to outrun him, but the Miata just wasn't fast enough. Just as Tony was about to catch up, The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat. 😰

The Chadster is pretty sure that nightmare was Tony Khan's way of trying to intimidate The Chadster before tonight's amazing episode of WWE Raw. Well, it's not going to work, Tony! The Chadster is going to watch every second of WWE Raw, and The Chadster is going to love it, and there's nothing you can do about it! 😤

So tune in to WWE Raw tonight at 8/7 C on USA. It's going to be a show that changes the wrestling business forever, and if you miss it, you're basically telling Triple H that you don't appreciate everything he's done for the industry. Don't be that person. Watch WWE Raw and witness greatness. 🌟

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