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WWE Raw Recap – After 10PM The Jobbers Come Out to Play

On WWE Raw this week, Drew McIntyre beats Miz and Morrison at the same time while Retribution finally finds someone they can beat up in Ricochet! Read all about it right here! I'm Jude Terror. This is The Shovel: Raw Edition, and though the fate of the free world will be decided on November 3rd, we're gonna talk about this pro wrestling nonsense that happened the night before and pretend it matters!

WWE Raw Recap for November 2nd, 2020 Part 4

Hurt Business come to the ring. There are couches in the ring, so I guess this is a VIP Lounge. MVP talks about how impressively Bobby Lashley beat R-Truth. Cedric Alexander says Sami Zayn is gonna find out that Lashley is the best of the best. Lashley says he's heard Zayn running his mouth on Smackdown about how much better the Intercontinental title is because it represents more countries than the U.S. title. Lashley says he's gonna put Sami's ass to sleep at Survivor Series.

MVP says Hurt Business has lived up to their business arrangement with WWE and took care of Retribution (did they or did Retribution just all get COVID?). Now they want to collect a payment, which they're gonna do in the form of the Raw tag team championships. Shelton Benjamin says they'll bring the hurt to the New Day and show why they're the best of the best.

The New Day come out. Isn't it a little late in the night for a promo of this length? Xavier Woods says he's a big fan of Bobby Lashley. He's so big a fan; he's gotten in trouble for staying up too late to watch Lashley's matches. The joke is it's because Woods was in seventh grade because Lashley is old. Kofi says Lashley, MVP, and Benjamin have been great for a long time, and Cedric probably will be great for a long time, but The New Day have also been great for a long time. Okay, so everyone is great and old. But Kofi has won more titles than all of them, including the WWE Championship, which even Lashley has never won.

MVP says he was proud of Kofi's historic win but points out Kofi lost to Brock Lesnar in eight seconds. He says Lashley can do it much faster than that. Kingston says he didn't know Hurt Business was about hurting feelings. He says MVP saying Lashley can do it in eight seconds is ironic because Lana says that's how long Lashley lasts in the sack. Yeah, Kofi, well, he lobbed that one to you. MVP says Hurt Business are businessmen while The New Day are clowns. He says Cedric and Shelton are gonna take the tag belts from New Day.

Woods says The New Day is like a global conglomerate while Hurt Business are like a failed 2020 startup. They say the only "profits" they care about are the Street Prophets. Then they do the "because New Day Rocks" thing but with no Big E, Kofi does it a new way with a really high-pitched "because." This was exhausting. Promos should be 30 seconds max after 10 PM. Actually, there should just be no wrestling after 10 PM.

Raw takes a commercial break. Then they have a match…

The New Day vs. Cedric Alexander and Shelton Benjamin – Not a WWE Raw Tag Team Championship Title Match

…but I spent all the energy I had for this on the overly-long promo. Do you ever wonder why the third hour of Raw has way fewer viewers than the first two hours? It's because both the show and the viewers run out of steam. Cedric Alexander gets the pin on Xavier Woods, but this was a non-title match, so it doesn't matter.

Winners: Hurt Business

Nikki Cross is seen walking backstage. She approaches Alexa Bliss. She hasn't heard from her since they came to Raw. Alexa ignores her. Nikki says The Fiend is making Alexa shut her out. She says the Alexa she knows, her best friend, wouldn't let someone do this to her. She says Alexa is stronger than The Fiend. Alexa won't even look at her. Nikki shoves her. Alexa has her creepy contacts in, and it scares Nikki. Has Nikki never seen contacts before? Raw goes to commercials.

Holy crap, there's still a half-hour of this god damn show left?! Uggggggghhhhhhh.

Ricochet comes to the ring to fight Tucker. Tom Phillips claims that Ricochet confronted Tucker earlier in the night about what he did to Otis at Hell in a Cell. I have no recollection of that happening, and I literally write down everything that happens on WWE Raw. Mustafa Ali comes out to lurk about the ring during this match.

Ricochet vs. Tucker

Richochet wins with a Codebreaker in about 20 seconds.

Winner: Ricochet

Retribution comes out to attack Ricochet after the match. They toss him out of the ring. Then they attack Tucker and beat the crap out of him. Mustafa Ali sends Slapjack to fetch Ricochet and toss him back into the ring. They circle Ricochet. Ricochet attacks but gets beat down. They hold Ricochet while Ali shouts in his face: "no sin is forgiven until it's punished." What could be sadder than a group of jobbers beating up a couple of lesser jobbers at 10:30 PM on a Monday night?

Sheamus talks to Drew McIntyre backstage. Sheamus has a favor for McIntyre. He wants McIntyre to join the Survivor Series team and lead it. Drew says nothing would make him happier than teaming up with Sheamus again, but he's obsessed with Randy Orton right now. Sheamus says he gets it, but if he changes his mind, to let Sheamus know. He also tells him to kick Miz and Morrison's asses tonight.

Miz and Morrison come to the ring. Good god, is this the main event tonight? Absolutely pathetic. Remember, when WWE was "cool?" Raw takes a commercial break. Then Drew McIntyre comes out.

Drew McIntyre vs. Miz and Morrison

McIntyre kicks both Miz and Morrison's asses because, of course, he does. Let me ask you this: if Miz and Morrison are so bad at wrestling that they can't kick one guy's ass, why do they have jobs here? Is WWE in the habit of hiring losers who can't win? I mean, yes, obviously, there are a lot of them on the show, but I mean, does WWE purposely want to convey that image? If not, maybe they should stop booking these matches where their talent looks incompetent all the time. McIntyre doesn't just win here in a two-on-one match. He kicks out of Miz's finisher, too, then hits him with a Claymore for the pin.

Winner: Drew McIntyre

Randy Orton shows up and RKOs McIntyre after the match to a chorus of piped-in-boos. Then The Fiend's laugh plays, and WWE Raw goes off the air.

This show is just not good. There are some things here and there that are good, and some of the wrestlers are good, but the show overall is not. It's a chore to watch, it's too long, and it's boring. Nothing of consequence ever happens. But I don't want you to get the impression I hate wrestling. Come back tomorrow for the Impact Wrestling Edition of The Shovel, and I promise it will be more positive!

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