Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, Smackdown, wrestling, wwe

WWE Smackdown: Big E Returns, Nia Jax Gets Her Mack On

With two weeks to go before WWE Fastlane, tonight's episode of Smackdown looks to be very angle-heavy, with the only match announced an eight-man tag. But there is a contract signing, talk show, and return promo set for Smackdown tonight. Results below.

WWE Smackdown Results – March 12th, 2021

We're on the road to WrestleMania, folks. Strap in, put on your helmet, and clench your butt cheeks. Edge kicks off the show with a promo for Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan. He brings up all the legends he's faced in his career and says not to count him out just because he's 62 years old. Daniel Bryan interrupts and tells Edge to stop being so butthurt. He says it's not all about him. It's about Bryan taking one last shot at getting the fans to believe in him, only for Vince McMahon to shatter their dreams like he always does. Edge says he's not mad at Bryan. He's just disappointed.

Street Profits, Rey Mysterio, and Dominik Mysterio vs. The Dirty Dogs and Alpha Academy

Time for the obligatory eight-man tag team match. Oh, look, it's Dolph Ziggler. This match is sure to be ZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ wha? Huh?! Oh, sorry, Dolph Ziggler was in the ring, and I fell instantly into a coma for the entire match. It happens every time.

Winners: Street Profits and Mysterios

Molly Holly is the first inductee for the WWE Hall of Fame class of 2021.

Jey Uso tries to visit Roman Reigns' dressing room, but Paul Heyman stops him at the door. He says Roman's a little sore about Uso tapping out to Daniel Bryan last week. Uso says he has some other stuff to do anyway.

Kayla Braxton interviews Seth Rollins. She stars the interview by playing an embarrassing clip of Cesaro swinging him around. Seth is not impressed.

Rollins says Cesaro is a loser, and Rollins is done with him. Braxton tells Rollins that Murphy and Cesaro have a rematch tonight. Rollins leaves.

The Progressive Match Flo shows Reginald costing Banks and Belair their match last week against Jax and Baszler and Jax deciding to make Reginald her boy toy.

Jax and Baszler bring Reginald to a men's clothing store. He tries on various outfits for Nia in a montage while Baszler looks bored. Eventually, he ends up in her lap, and it is implied he will have sex with her to pay for the clothes.

Cesaro vs. Murphy

Seth Rollins comes out to watch his former disciple Murphy beat Cesaro. Unfortunately, Murphy gets his ass kicked, so Rollins interferes and gives Cesaro the Stomp. Then he talks trash to Cesaro until he gets up, and Rollins can Stomp him again.

Winner: Cesaro

Rollins gets a steel chair, puts it over Cesaro's head, and goes for another stomp, but officials stop him just in time. The fake Thunderdome crowd is booing like crazy, which is obviously fake because real WWE fans will always cheer for attempted murder.

Rollins runs into Shinsuke Nakamura backstage. They exchange tips on hair conditioners.

Sami Zayn accosts Kevin Owens with his documentary crew. He wants Owens to be part of the documentary because they've known each other so long, and Owens knows all about the conspiracy against Zayn. Owens says he'll think about it.

Edge chats with Jey Uso. He's known Uso since Uso was a kid, so he's here to talk to him man to man. He says an Usos match in 2015 helped Edge realize he could still love wrestling after he retired. He doesn't like seeing Uso like Roman's lackey. Uso tells Edge to mind his business. Edge says he tried.

The KO Show

Kevin Owens brings out Bianca Belair and Sasha Banks. Owens brings up John Cena and Shawn Michaels facing each other for the WWE Championship while being tag champs together. He says Banks and Belair can do that too if they beat Jax and Baszler at Fastlane, but they have a lot of tension with each other. Owens asks about the drama caused by Reginald. Sasha says she can't help it if she's hot and Reginald wants her. Bianca says Sasha needs to stop stringing him along because he's gonna cause trouble for them. Sasha says he won't cause her trouble. She's the Michael Jordan of the women's division, and maybe one day Bianca can be the Lebron James. Belair says she's the one who won the Royal Rumble. Sasha says that's because she wasn't in it. Sasha says she'll walk in and out of WrestleMania as Two Belts Banks.

Jax and Baszler interrupt, with Reginald in tow. But Natalya and Tamina interrupt Jax and Baszler interrupting. Oh, they're gonna have a match. Jax and Baszler get on commentary.

WWE Superstars encourage people to get vaccinated while Smackdown takes a commercial break.

Tamina and Natalya vs. Banks and Belair

Banks and Belair have a match with Natalya and Tamina, but the real action is at the commentary table, where Nia Jax parades her boy toy in front of Michael Cole and Corey Graves, much to Shayna Baszler's annoyance. This leads to a confrontation between Banks and Reginald, who runs through the ring, distracting Belair. In the ensuing chaos, Tamina pins Belair.

Winner: Tamina and Natalya

Belair yells at Banks for bringing her simp around. She tells Sasha she's done with this. Reginald blows Sasha a kiss.

Sasha and Bianca argue backstage after some commercials. Sasha says she won't take the blame because a rookie like Belair took the L.

Big E comes out with a crutch, sling, and neck brace, but he strips them off at the top of the ramp and heads to the ring. He cuts a promo on Apollo Crews. No jokes this time. He's serious, and he wants revenge on Crews for injuring him. But Apollo doesn't respond, so Big E issues an open challenge. Wouldn't it be nice if, just once, it was someone exciting? Instead, it's Baron Corbin. Corbin comes out and starts talking about his clothes and his watch, which gives Sami Zayn a chance to run out and accept the open challenge before Corbin can. "You snooze, you lose," Zayn says. They argue. Big E says whoever gets in the ring first gets the match. Zayn gets in first. Corbin keeps his dignity.

Sami Zayn vs. Big E

Big E abuses Zayn through multiple commercial breaks, shrugging off any attempt at a comeback. Eventually, he pins Sami with the Big Ending.

Winner: Big E

Apollo Crews ambushes Big E after the match. He stomps him repeatedly and hits two Angle Slams on him. Then he gets the steel stairs and hits Big E with them. So that's another match for Fastlane, then?

Kayla Braxton interviews Nia Jax and her boy toy, Reginald. Reginald suggests Nia should challenge Sasha for her Smackdown Women's Championship next week so that she can be the one to have two belts at WrestleMania. Nia likes it and tells Kayla to leave so they can have sex.

Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan – Contract Signing

Every once in a while, WWE likes to mix things up. Usually, they start Smackdown with a twenty-minute Roman Reigns entrance, but this week, they end the show that way instead. After some commercials, Roman is almost at the ring. Then Daniel Bryan comes out. Adam Pearce gives them the contract to sign. Roman makes a point of sitting at the head of the table instead of across from Bryan.

Reigns says he isn't feeling Bryan anymore and he's not gonna sign the contract. Bryan signs it and feigns surprise that Roman wouldn't be a man of his word or that he'd be afraid to fight Daniel Bryan. Bryan says a lot of people always thought Bryan was better than Reigns, but Reigns never did. Last week, he proved it, though, when he made Jey Uso quit, which not even Roman could do. Bryan says he should be the head of the table now and the tribal chief of Roman's family. Uh, that's cultural appropriation, Bryan. You should know better. It works, though. Roman signs the contract.

Bryan says he'll tap out Roman at Fastlane just like he tapped out Jey Uso. Uso throws the table out of the ring and gets in Bryan's face. He tells Adam Pearce he ought to be the special guest enforcer for this match to make sure it gets called down the middle. Edge interrupts. He says that does sound like a great idea. But he suggests he have a one-on-one match against Uso next week on Smackdown, and the winner can be the special enforcer. Adam Pearce likes that one. A brawl breaks out between Edge and Bryan and Reigns and Uso. But after Edge shoves Bryan away so Edge can get a piece of Roman Reigns, Bryan hits a running knee on Edge. Bryan stands tall at the end. Could he do it? IS this the Yes Movement 2.0?! Should we all get our hopes for Daniel Bryan to finally win the big one again?!

Let's not get ahead of ourselves. But it was a fine ending to Smackdown this week.

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