Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, wwe smackdown

WWE SmackDown Review: One More Stop Before Royal Rumble

El Presidente reviews WWE SmackDown from Saudi Arabia! Chaos, championships, and ethical equilibrium before the Royal Rumble. Viva la lucha libre, comrades!

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my gold-plated viewing box at the Riyadh Season Stadium, where I am getting ready to experience the magic of the Royal Rumble, just after I regale you with a tale of how WWE SmackDown delivered a show so thrilling, it reminded me of the time Muammar Gaddafi and I competed to see who could stay awake longer during a United Nations General Assembly meeting. Spoiler alert: we both fell asleep, but at least last night's WWE SmackDown kept me wide awake with anticipation for today's Royal Rumble!

But first, comrades, I must take a moment to acknowledge WWE's absolutely genius public relations strategy. You see, for years the capitalist wrestling fans wrung their hands about the ethics of supporting shows in Saudi Arabia. "Oh no, El Presidente," they would say, "how can we enjoy WWE SmackDown when it takes place in an authoritarian regime?" Well, comrades, WWE has solved this problem with the kind of brilliance that would make even the CIA jealous! Instead of becoming more ethical themselves, or waiting for Saudi Arabia to stop being murderous, they simply made it equally ethically questionable to support ALL WWE programming by partnering with the second Trump administration! With Triple H practically living at the White House and Linda McMahon serving as Secretary of Education, WWE has achieved perfect moral equilibrium! You cannot feel guilty about supporting SOME WWE shows when ALL WWE shows now carry the same authoritarian stench! Brilliant!

Now, onto the glorious action from last night's SmackDown!

The show opened with Cody Rhodes addressing the crowd, and comrades, the fans sang along to his entrance music with such passion that it brought a tear to my eye—not unlike the tears I shed when my Swiss bank accounts were frozen by those meddling CIA agents! Cody talked about winning his third World Title, which is admirable, though I have won seventeen elections myself (all completely legitimate, I assure you). Randy Orton interrupted to remind everyone he's hunting for his 15th World Championship, followed by Jey Uso declaring his intentions, and finally Sami Zayn got a massive reception when he spoke Arabic to the crowd. This reminds me of the time I learned Mandarin specifically to negotiate a trade deal with China—except my pronunciation was so bad, I accidentally ordered 50,000 rubber chickens instead of military equipment. We made it work, comrades!

The segment concluded with Paul Heyman and the Vision interrupting, which nearly brought the segment to a close. But not before Nick Aldis made an eight-man tag match main event, because if there's one thing wrestling has taught me about conflict resolution, it's that the answer is always "make them fight in teams!"

Carmelo Hayes continued his United States Title Open Challenge tour on SmackDown, this time against Rey Fenix, and comrades, what a match! These two high-flyers battled for fifteen glorious minutes, trading near falls like I trade political prisoners with neighboring countries during diplomatic negotiations. Fenix delivered spectacular springboard maneuvers that defied gravity itself—not unlike my economy, which also defies all known laws of physics! Hayes ultimately retained with the Nothing But Net, proving once again that he is a fighting champion. Though I must say, these open challenges would be more exciting if someone actually won the title occasionally. It's like my presidential elections—sure, anyone CAN challenge me, but we all know who's winning!

Speaking of winning, Brock Lesnar called into the Pat McAfee Show to announce his entry into the Royal Rumble match! This is tremendous news, comrades! Lesnar's participation reminds me of the time I entered an underground bare-knuckle boxing tournament in Belarus—I didn't win, but I did successfully negotiate a uranium deal while my opponent was distracted by my surprisingly nimble footwork.

Charlotte and Alexa Bliss teamed up on SmackDown to face the Judgment Day duo of Liv Morgan and Toni Storm, with Raquel Rodriguez at ringside. The tension between Charlotte and Bliss was palpable—they're friends, but both want to win the Royal Rumble, which is exactly like my relationship with Hugo Chávez back in the day. We would vacation together, share economic policies, and plot against American imperialism, but we both knew that if it came down to it, only one of us could be named "Supreme Leader of the Month" in Dictators Quarterly magazine. Charlotte and Bliss picked up the victory when Stephanie Vaquer appeared to neutralize Rodriguez. Good tag team wrestling, comrades, though I've seen better teamwork from the CIA agents who keep trying to poison my breakfast cereal!

The Axiom versus Johnny Gargano match on SmackDown had interesting stipulations—if Axiom won, he would get his mask back! Nathan Frazer was in his corner while Candice LeRae was banned from ringside. Gargano ripped off Axiom's mask during the match in a desperate attempt to gain advantage, but this only angered the masked mathematician, who hit the Golden Ratio for the victory! This teaches us an important lesson, comrades: never underestimate a man fighting to reclaim his identity. It's like when the CIA tried to steal my collection of vintage telenovela VHS tapes—I fought back with the fury of a thousand suns and successfully defended my precious recordings of "Maria la del Barrio!"

AJ Styles came out on SmackDown to cut a promo about his upcoming match with Gunther at the Royal Rumble, announcing his "One More Time" tour. The fans chanted for him to face CM Punk, which Styles acknowledged. Then Gunther appeared but wisely retreated before fisticuffs could commence. Comrades, this buildup is excellent! Styles wants one more run at glory, much like how I want one more successful revolution—except I've already had twelve, so I suppose I'm overachieving.

Ilja Dragunov got his revenge on The Miz in their WWE SmackDown encounter, delivering brutal chops that echoed throughout the arena like gunshots—which I would know something about, having survived forty-seven assassination attempts (that I know of). The H Bomb finished off Miz, and justice was served! Dragunov's intensity reminds me of my former Minister of Agriculture, who took his job so seriously that he personally inspected every potato in the country. He was exhausting to be around, but you couldn't question his dedication!

The main event of WWE SmackDown saw Cody Rhodes, Randy Orton, Jey Uso, and Sami Zayn team up against the Vision (Bron Breakker, Grayson Waller, Austin Theory, and Bronson Reed). This was classic wrestling booking, comrades—put all your top stars in one match the night before the big show! The action was fast-paced and exciting, with everyone getting their moments to shine. However, Drew McIntyre ran in to attack Zayn, causing the disqualification. Then Jacob Fatu attacked McIntyre, Rhodes cleared Fatu, McIntyre decked Rhodes, and Zayn hit McIntyre with the Helluva Kick! It was chaos, beautiful chaos, like the time I hosted a summit with six other dictators and we all got into an argument about whose military parade was most impressive.

Comrades, last night's WWE SmackDown delivered exactly what it needed to: final hype for today's premium live event, several quality matches, and just enough chaos to make us excited for what comes next. The Royal Rumble is shaping up to be spectacular, with Brock Lesnar's announcement adding even more star power, and Oba Femi being announced for the match as well!

Jacob Fatu attacks Drew McIntyre: SmackDown highlights, Jan. 30, 2026

So tune in today for the Royal Rumble, comrades, where thirty superstars will battle for glory and a main event spot at WrestleMania! Will Sami Zayn finally capture the World Heavyweight Championship in Saudi Arabia, where he has never lost? Will AJ Styles make Gunther tap out? Will someone unexpected win the Rumble matches? The only way to find out is to watch, and remember—whether you feel ethically compromised watching or not, at least we're all equally compromised together now!

¡Viva la lucha libre! ¡Viva WWE SmackDown!

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!