Posted in: Recent Updates | Tagged: marvel, new mutants, x-force, x-men, X-Men/Fantastic Four, X-ual Healing - The Weekly X-Men Recap Column

X-Men #7 is the Wolverine's Weiner X-Pick of the Week for February 26th, 2020

Published Tue, 03 Mar 2020 20:00:03 -0600

by Jude Terror

Comments

There were five X-books out last week: X-Men #7, X-Force #8, Giant-Size X-Men: Jean Grey and Emma Frost #1, X-Men/Fantastic Four #2, and New Mutants #8. In addition to that, I missed New Mutants #7 from the prior week, so I'll be recapping that too. Let's find out what happened in last week's X-books…

Sworn to sell comics for Marvel executives who feared and hated the fact that Fox owned their movie rights, The Uncanny X-Men suffered great indignities, but thanks to a corporate merger and a line-wide relaunch, the X-Men can finally get back to doing what they do best: being objectively the best franchise in all of comics.

This Week's Issues

X-MEN #7 DX
DEC190786
(W) Jonathan Hickman (A/CA) Leinil Francis Yu
MUTANTS ARE FOREVER!
The Resurrection Protocols have changed everything for Mutantkind. NO MORE can humans' hate and fear take their lives from them. But… what ELSE has it changed?
Rated T+
In Shops: Feb 26, 2020
SRP: $4.99

Was it any good?

It's worth noting that I wrote about this comic last week in two separate articles, so if you want more of a dive into the ramifications of The Crucible or into Wolverine two-dick trutherism, check out those articles. Overall, I liked this issue a lot because it shows how brutal and heartless Krakoa is, and as a result how brutal and heartless the X-Men have become. These are characters who used to lead with their emotions, who strove to do the right thing even when it was hard and even when it wasn't in their best interest. Things are a lot different now, and very few of the X-Men seem to think twice about it. It's no surprise that Krakoan society would be so brutal when it's being led by some of the worst villains in X-Men history as much as it is led by the heroes. This is all going to end horribly, and I'm here for it.

Read the recap here.

GIANT SIZE X-MEN JEAN GREY & EMMA FROST #1 DX
DEC190780
(W) Jonathan Hickman (A/CA) Russell Dauterman
The first of five essential X-tales specially designed to showcase some of Marvel's best artists! First up, Russell Dauterman, superstar artist of THOR and WAR OF THE REALMS! When Storm is in danger, it's going to take two of the most powerful telepaths on Earth working together to make things right. Jean Grey and Emma Frost, together again for the good of Krakoa!
Rated T+
In Shops: Feb 26, 2020
SRP: $4.99

Was it any good?

Rich Johnston wrote an article about how this issue was a love letter to New X-Men #121. Of course, any silent issue is also paying tribute to Larry Hama's G.I. Joe #21. Additionally, I included the opening scene in my Wolverine two-dick trutherism article last week. This sure was a nice issue to look at, and if you're buying comics to appreciate them as art, then this was well worth it. If you're just interested in the soap opera story, as I mostly am, this could have been accomplished with a single page, of course. Even so, I'm not a total heathen, and I can appreciate this for what it was, a flexing of the comic muscles by Hickman and Dauterman, even if it's not quite so impressive as some are making it out to be since it's relying heavily on the ideas its paying tribute rather than being in and of itself an innovative idea.

Read the recap here.

X-FORCE #8 DX
DEC190791
(W) Ben Percy (A) Oscar Bazaldua (CA) Dustin Weaver
MISS FORTUNE STRIKES!
Domino's luck seems to be changing… Can she find the source of her misfortune before it costs lives all over the world? And has Colossus healed enough to help her… or even himself?
Parental Advisory
In Shops: Feb 26, 2020
SRP: $3.99

Was it any good?

This issue somewhat redeemed the Reverse Domino (ugh) reveal from last issue, which was super cheesy. It did that both by literally killing Reverse Domino (ugh), but also by adding some soap opera drama to the story with Domino and Colossus. X-Men connecting with each other amidst emotional pain is a hallmark of great X-Men comics, and it works well here. I also like how Xeno Commander has evolved from a scary shadowy organization that succeeded in killing Professor X in the first issue to a comically inept organization that's wasting a crapload of money on elaborate plots like developing Reverse Dominos. Working on the assumption this comedy is intentional, I'm all for it, as grim and gritty X-Force comics have been a dime a dozen over the years, but X-Force comics with over-the-top villains harkens back to the team's origins.

Read the recap here.

X-MEN FANTASTIC FOUR #2 (OF 4)
DEC190776
(W) Chip Zdarsky (A/CA) Terry Dodson
The world has been re-shaped by the X-MEN. But you can't reshape a world without encountering its true master … DOOM..
Rated T+
In Shops: Feb 26, 2020
SRP: $3.99

Was it any good?

On the one hand, this mini-series is an unnecessary cash grab that muddles the continuity of the X-books as it's unclear where this fits in the timeline. On the other hand, it's paced really well, moving faster than most of the other X-titles with the possible exception of Excalibur, and if there's one thing I like, it's a nice, dense comic book. Also, Doombot Sentinels. So I think I can chalk this book up in the win column for X-Men fans in general.

Read the recap here.

NEW MUTANTS #7 DX
DEC190792
(W) Jonathan Hickman (A/CA) Rod Reis
Deep in Shi'Ar space, the NEW MUTANTS have found themselves dead in the middle of an intergalactic power struggle. They're probably equipped to handle that, right? And back on Earth, the young mutants of Krakoa look forward to the future…whatever it may hold.
Rated T+
In Shops: Feb 19, 2020
SRP: $3.99

Was it any good?

I can't tell if the issue was meant to be funny because we were seeing it from Bobby's perspective, or if Hickman just wanted to show off how witty he is. The tone was odd, but it was otherwise enjoyable. Several characters were acting off, particularly Wolfsbane, who was oddly snarky throughout the book. The weight of everything that happened in this story was sort of cheapened a bit by the fact that the issue basically went full Deadpool, with several characters even breaking the fourth wall. It seems like Hickman just wanted to get Sam and Bobby together in Chandilar and plant that gate on Chandilore, and nothing else mattered, and the story was treated like it didn't matter, and felt pretty rushed at the end besides. Kind of a let down, all things considered.

Read the recap here.

NEW MUTANTS #8 DX
DEC190793
(W) Ed Brisson (A) Marco Failla (CA) Rod Reis
Deep in Shi'Ar space, the NEW MUTANTS have found themselves dead in the middle of an intergalactic power struggle. They're probably equipped to handle that, right? And back on Earth, the young mutants of Krakoa look forward to the future…whatever it may hold.
Rated T+
In Shops: Feb 26, 2020
SRP: $3.99

Was it any good?

This was a nice little one-and-done issue. Nothing particularly important happened, but that's okay.

Read the recap here.

Wolverine's Weiner X-Pick of the Week

X-Men #7 easily takes the week by continuing to lay the groundwork for the revelation that Krakoa is one f***ed up place, which is going to really mess with the heads of a lot of readers, and I enjoy both of those things. X-Force was pretty good too this week, but it's hard to compete with what X-Men delivered, especially when you throw in more proof that Wolverine has two dicks.

Congratulations to the creative team on this honor.

Past weiner winners:

The Wolverine's Weiner X-Pick of the Week is an award decided by my whims, not by any rule-based scientific process. It's whichever X-Men comic provides me with the most satisfying feeling, like a tubular cased meat product grilled on a fuzzy Canadian's adamantium claws on a hot Summer day. So you're welcome to disagree and post your opinions in the comments.

Also, before someone asks in the comments again, yes I am aware that the more common spelling is "wiener." But "weiner" is also an accepted spelling according to the dictionary. Who am I going to trust more? Some jackass in the comments section, or the dictionary? Besides, you know who would have spelled it "Wolverine's Wiener" if he were alive today? Hitler. I rest my case.

X of Swords: a 15-Part X-Men Crossover Event

We learned some interesting X-facts at C2E2. For one, all-star reporter David Pierce got Benjamin Percy to comment on the Wolverine two-dicks theory. He also attended the X-Men panel and noticed Jordan White express interest in getting in on the Wolverine/Cyclops/Jean Grey threesome. More from the panel here too. Pierce then conducted his own investigation into Wolverine two-dick trutherism, which you should read here.

We also learned about X of Swords, the fifteen-part X-Men crossover event coming up this Summer which kicks off in the X-Men FCBD special in May. It's X-Men. With swords. Brilliant.

See you next week!