Saturnyne Goes Sexcalibur on Brian Braddock in Excalibur #13 [XH]

In this issue of Excalibur, Saturnyne wants Brian Braddock's sword, but he's obsessed with an amulet…

I'm Jude Terror, and this is X-ual Healing, the weekly X-Men recap column where I read all the X-books that come out, no matter how many, no matter how overpriced, and no matter how terrible, so you don't have to. It's a public service provided to make up for all the other stuff Bleeding Cool does. I feel this makes us about even. How about you? Three X-books were released by Marvel last week, two of which tie into X of Swords: Excalibur #13, X-Men #13, and Juggernaut #2.

We're nearly halfway through the X of Swords crossover event, and I have to say, I'm already feeling pretty burnt out by it. It's just, I feel like everything that's happened so far could have been condensed to like two issues, but Marvel needs to boost sales for a couple of months across the entire line, so instead, it's stretched out to 22. So if I seem like I'm starting to get cranky with this crossover, it's because I am.

Sworn to sell comics for Marvel executives who feared and hated the fact that Fox owned their movie rights, The Uncanny X-Men suffered great indignities. Still, thanks to a corporate merger, a line-wide relaunch, and Jonathan Hickman's giant ego, the X-Men can finally get back to doing what they do best: being objectively the best franchise in all of comics for lovers of soap opera drama.

Saturnyne Goes Sexcalibur on Brian Braddock in Excalibur #13 [XH]

The cover to Excalibur #13
The cover to Excalibur #13

(W) Tini Howard (A) R. B. Silva (CA) Mahmud Asrar
Opposition. Despair. The dark night of the soul.
Rated T+
In Shops: Oct 21, 2020
SRP: $3.99

Excalibur #13 Recap

Brian and Jamie Braddock visit Betsy Braddock at the Starlight Citadel. Brian has brought the Sword of Might for Betsy to wield as Captain Britain in the X of Swords tournament, but Betsy says she wants him to keep it and that he should go fight in the tournament with it. She wants to wield the Starlight Sword. Brian implies he's ready to take the amulet back and become Captain Britain again. Betsy is a little insulted by her own brother joining the #NotMyCaptainBritain crowd. Note: Jamie is wearing the cape he got from Mister Sinister last week. Continuity!

They're interrupted by Saturnyne, who Jamie promptly hits on, earning a warning. Then we see a Wikipedia article for the Sword of Might. Saturnyne brings the Braddocks to the memorial garden, where there are statues of the lost Captain Britain Corps. Betsy says they have a new Captain Britain Corps now, the ones created by Jamie in earlier issues of Excalibur through reality-meddling, but Saturnyne doesn't believe they're real Captain Britains because they didn't choose between the amulet or sword. Betsy points out she didn't choose either. Saturnyne doesn't like her being Captain Britain either.

Afterward, Betsy and Brian have an argument alone in the garden. Brian tries to convince Betsy to trade him the amulet for the sword, to let him be Captain Britain again. Betsy wants him to duel her for it. Saturnyne breaks up their scuffle.

Later that night, Jamie Braddock is accosted by the Captain Britain Corps; he created who want to kill him (they are alternate reality versions of the current members of Excalibur). We get a Wikipedia article about the old Captain Britain Corps. Betsy and Brian hear the commotion and rush to the rescue. But whose rescue? Jamie kills the Jubilee one.

The remaining Corps members are really mad now. Brian still refuses to use the sword in defense, but the Gambit one blows off the scabbard with an exploding card, and Braddock transforms into… Jamie names him Captain Avalon, claiming him for his own kingdom.

Brian wants to kill the Corps members, but Saturnyne shows up. She tells him to put them in a prison cell. Then she tries to take the Amulet of Right from Betsy. But Betsy fights back, and she decides to shatter the amulet. Saturnyne is possed. She orders Betsy locked up with the Corps members and walks off. Brian goes with her.

Betsy communicates telepathically with the Corps members. She tries to find them and escape, but the prison is surrounded by endless blackness. Jamie contacts her telepathically and then rescues her. Saturnyne makes out with Brian and then whips out her Starlight Sword (which we get a Wikipedia page on) and gives it to him. She says she's ditching the old Amulet/Sword method of choosing a Captain Britain and just making him the new one. They start to have sex, and Betsy sneaks in and grabs the Starlight sword.

Excalibur #13 [XH]

It turns out Brian was faking the entire time. He had already accepted his role with the Sword of Might as the protector of Avalon, and all of this was a ruse for Betsy to get the sword. Brian says he's loyal to his family and his life. Saturnyne accepts that she's lost this round. Back on Krakoa, Betsy and Brian both stand on seals at the circle. With Cable, Storm, Wolverine, Cypher, and Magik, there are now only three seals left.

I liked this issue. I like that it built on storylines that have been playing out in Excalibur since the start of the book. I wish this crossover weren't spending half the issues just gathering the sword wielders, though. Honestly, couldn't they have just done that in like one of the single overpriced bookend issues and gotten on with the plot in the weekly books?

Read more X-ual Healing here:

Saturnyne Goes Sexcalibur on Brian Braddock in Excalibur #13 [XH]

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About Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events. Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!
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