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Gladiator II doesn't do enough to set itself apart from the original. It justifies its existence but could have been better.
Posted in: Blumhouse, Movies, Universal | Tagged: blumhouse, firestarter, peacock, zac efron
Firestarter Fails To Ignite, A Complete Failure {Review}
Firestarter is one of the better comedies of 2022 so far, featuring belly laughs from the start and throughout its entire runtime. Zac Efron is at his hilarious best as characters come and go from the film, injecting humor into the proceedings in surprising ways. When the film reaches its climax, your stomach will ache, as will your face from smiling so much. Bravo to all involved! Oh, wait, no, this is not supposed to be a comedy? Well, this is awkward…Firestarter is actually painfully dull, with completely forgettable characters, a confusing tone, and is one of the worst Stephen King adaptations released in a long time.
Photo Credit: Ken Woroner/Universal Pictures
Firestarter Feels Like Half A Film. A Bad Half.
There really is not much else to say about Firestarter. Based on the novel by King, and the second time it has come to screens, this feels like a boring student film. An hour into the story, you have a hard time remembering anyone else's name besides Charlie (Ryan Kiera Armstrong) or even why they are in the film, to begin with. Somehow, with a runtime of only 92 minutes, there feel like parts that could be trimmed entirely out, and you would be missing nothing from the story. You just don't care, and indifference is the kiss of death. The effects are serviceable, but for once, the budget on this one can be felt. Not something usually said for a Blumhouse production, where they are masters at making $5 feel like $500. Not here, with the poorly lit, washed-out film actively putting you to sleep.
It feels like half a film, though it would be torturous to sit through any more than that 92 minutes. The story is full of these dead-end, meandering beats that work under the pen of King but does not translate well in this instance to film. Firestarter builds to an inevitable ending so fast in the first twenty minutes that the next seventy end up being a waste of time. You can tell how rushed they must have felt making this film; they never take any time to stop and smell the smolder. If they had, some of the issues might have calmed, but that was not the choice they made.
Kudos to Efron and Armstrong for doing their best, but there was no saving this one. Firestarter will be completely forgotten after this weekend, and maybe that is for the best. Not every King adaptation can be a home run, but you hope to at least do down swinging. At least we got a killer John Carpenter score out of it. Go listen to that instead and pretend he just released a new album inspired by the book.
Firestarter
2/10
Firestarter is lifeless and boring, a misfire from the word go. Completely forgettable. Go listen to the John Carpenter score and pretend it is inspired by the book instead.
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