Posted in: Movies, TV | Tagged: Alicia Fox, Curt Hawkins, jbl, kane, Mark Henry, Primo & Epico, R-Truth, sin cara, The Ascension, Triple H, wwe

The Shakeout: Ten WWE Stars That, Sadly, Just Need To Go

Look… no one likes being fired. Or in WWE terms, "Future Endeavored." But the simple fact is you can't keep loading up two shows with 50+ people and only showcase 15 a week without causing some of them to get pissed or just not make any use of their talent. Cody Rhodes and Jack Swagger knew what was up and asked to leave. Meanwhile, Damien Sandow and Wade Barrett had to wait to get the axe while the writers did nothing good with them. It's a crappy system, and part of it has to do with the fact that there's a lot of talent kept on the books who probably should exit and find either a better place to go or just be done with professional wrestling altogether. So here's ten people we think should be taken off the main roster.

Quick side-note: We're not adding Big Show. We know he's leaving, we know you don't like him, he'll be retiring soon. Get over it, haters.

Curt Hawkins

I honestly don't understand why Curt Hawkins was brought back. Sheldon Benjamin I get, the Hardy Boyz I get, Rhyno eventually made sense. But Hawkins baffled me. All he's really done is lose, and his character makes even less sense. What is this Marty McFly-like vest he wears? What's with the cane he doesn't walk with? And what's with the double-strap ring gear? He looks like a 2K17 CAW character you made after you finished making all the Attitude Era stars and were like "Hmmm, who can I get to team with Steve Blackman?" The most memorable thing beyond his buildup was a backstage segment with Zach Ryder and Edge for their reunion. He's a waste in WWE's main roster, but maybe a bump down to NXT would do him some good.

Alicia Fox

I'm at a loss with Alicia Fox. Her crazy gimmick has potential, but it never got off the ground beyond stealing a soda and wearing JBL's hat. You see it pop up sometimes, like in her brief feud with Nia Jax where he served as the perfect established person to put over her dominance after she came to Raw. But beyond that, I don't see the purpose she serves on the main roster. She's 30 and approaching 11 years with the company, which means she spent more time as a main roster figure than Daniel Bryan. Let that sink in for a second… I don't think her presence brings anything to the table on Raw or even 205 Live, nor do I really see a purpose for her to go to NXT unless she wants to get better. I honestly believe when her contract comes up, WWE should give her an awesome severance package for ending the horrible Edge/Vicky marriage storyline and part ways. Maybe she can help Impact out in some way like former women's talent before her.

Sin Cara

If WWE were a car, and every wrestler in that car served a specific function, then Sin Cara would be the second pen you have stored in the glove compartment to take notes in case the first pen doesn't work. (In this scenario, the first pen is Goldust.) WWE's failed experiment in changing an established luchador wrestler's identity with crappy lighting was passed onto Hunico after Mistico kept getting inured and botching and eventually left. It isn't Hunico's fault the character sucks, WWE just wanted a marketable toy and thought they could hit two birds with one dropkick by appealing to the Mexican market at the same time. The character needs to go, period. And if the dirt sheets and rumors are true about Hunico being a badass backstage, then WWE should capitalize on that and start him fresh in NXT with a better character, or just let him be himself and crush the NXT roster to become a credible threat to the champion. But having Sin Cara as your backup to the backup on Raw is pointless.

Kane

Kane is almost 50 and the wear and tear are starting to show. Everyone commented on how bad the Undertaker looked at the Royal Rumble but failed to recognize that Kane isn't too far behind as he's starting to get the old-man gut that all men are destined to get in some fashion once we pass a certain age. Not to mention he's been taking time off to deal with nagging injuries that have apparently been following him for a bit. If Kane does return, it may be time to make him a spiritual sacrifice to someone who needs the push. Even though we'll all see it coming, watching Kane go out in, pardon the pun, a blaze of glory, would be the best way to send him off and maybe put his 22+ years of WWE employment and experience to better use behind the curtain.

R-Truth

No matter how many times I look at Ron Killings, I can't help but think of him as K-Kwik singing "Gettin' Rowdy!" If WWE had actually made the next Nation Of Domination instead of The New Day, Truth would have fit in nicely as someone for Xavier to help. Instead, he became a cornball after he snapped and talked to Little Jimmy for a year. The company isn't pushing him but they're not lowering him—he is comic relief with Goldust because writers know they can get Vince to slap his knee by putting him in dumb situations like looking for Pokemon. If the company had any better plans for him or Golden Truth (which they put more effort into creating than most of Wrestlemaina 33's card) they would have pulled the trigger by now and made them a force to be reconned with on Raw instead of frequent losers to every other team on the show. At least Goldust could go back to being a road agent or help with NXT, but Truth just feels like an out-of-place piece of furniture. If you can't use him properly on TV and you have nothing for him at NXT, then it's time to show him the door.

The Ascension

You can't walk out and claim to be a better version of Demolition/LOD/Powers Of Pain and look weak. That's it, there is nothing else. Whoever it was behind the curtain that decided to take one of the most dominant teams in NXT and make them a joke by getting thrown around like garbage by the nWo should take a pay cut. (I know, it was probably Vince, what can you do?) The duo lasted one month looking badass and then was garbage after the legends bashed them. On Smackdown, they might have had a chance, but their appearance at Elimination Chamber kinda says it all. When a team like The Usos are doing the job you should be doing, while you get beat by the team that just got blasted and made a comeback, you clearly are not tough. I think this team would work better if they went to ROH and got rid of the gimmick paint and leather gear, but they're never coming to any kind of credibility on WWE programming.

Mark Henry

I have all the respect in the world for Mark Henry and what he's managed to accomplish in his career, but that's not what we're here to talk about. WWE booking has shoved Mark to the back and made him a non-threat. The Hall Of Pain was awesome, his title win was awesome, could have had a better storyline to losing it but I'll take Bryan's win. His matches with CM Punk on Raw while Punk was the champion were great, his fake retirement speech on John Cena was great but the follow-up sucked. There's little wrong with the character he's created today, but the company has made him non-essential. The day they threw him at Braun Strowman and had him lose on free television was the day WWE essentially foreclosed on the Hall Of Pain and made him a side-attraction. I think it's only a matter of time before he's let go as an in-ring talent and offered another gig at the company, but not before a proper retirement match. It should happen sooner than later and on Henry's terms, but it needs to happen.

JBL

I know this is going to hurt King Ross over at What Culture, and I'm sure I'm about to be blocked on Twitter with half of America, but JBL needs to go for good. He was brought back in 2012 for one specific reason: Jerry Lawler had a heart attack. Rather than pair someone new with Michael Cole to be a heel commentator, WWE went through their on-call list and asked John to stop hiking mountains and get behind the mic again. He's been both a source of comedy for marks for saying outrageous crap that comes to his mind as a kind of heel, and a shining example of why multi-man commentary teams suck. Listening to the car wreck that is Smackdown's commentary is a trial in patience and proves four-man teams shouldn't exist. (I personally hate the three-man teams outside of PPV events, but we'll never go back to two people ever again at this rate.) Then you have to weigh in all the ribbing, pranking, harassment and other old-school attitude crap that's followed JBL throughout his career, including recently where it sounds like he may have been responsible for Mauro Ranallo's recent mental health troubles, to the point where he is rumored to be leaving. The last commentator to ever stand up to him was Joey Styles, who knocked him out in front of a dozen guys, so the bar is pretty high for standing up to his BS. What we're getting at here is that JBL is an unnecessary cog in a cog factory, and after the issues with NXT's old training system woes a couple years back, the last thing the company needs is another public skewering for allowing people to leave due to harassment. "Be a star" WWE, and let him go.

Primo & Epico

With the exception of Gallows & Anderson, I can't think of another team that's been wasted more than Primo & Epico. You have two talented guys from the Colón family who can go the distance if needed, and yet they're put in not one, but two crap gimmicks (Los Matadores) where they lose more often than Barry Horowitz did at his peak. They are a modern day version of The Killer Bees or The Godwins. If they were given the slightest bit of credibility to be a team and pull off wins that looked legit, you'd have a decent heel team people could love to hate, like The Fabulous Rougeaus or The Hollywood Blondes. But considering how long they've been there without a decent looking shot at the top, it's a safe bet to say they'll be living in tag team hell until the day comes one of them gets injured or they both decide to quit. Funny thing, this is a team I could see working better in PWG or ROH as arrogant dicks who had "been to the top" and were now there to show all the people fighting in bingo halls how it's done.

Triple H

Yeah! I went there. I'm putting the King of Kings on this list because HE DOESN'T NEED THE JOB! He's already in a desk position, working on NXT, he's doing great things—nothing against him on that front. But one of the most frustrating things to read last year was Damien Sandow being released around the same time WWE offered Hunter a three-year in-ring talent contract at $1 million per year. In essence, beyond the house shows he'd work to shake off the ring rust, he's working one show a year (Wrestlemaina) to put over one talent, on top of earning that WM check and his regular suit-and-tie check. Business-wise, good on him! Talent-wise, to hell with that!!! We had to watch the Cruiserweight and I.C. title matches bumped to the pre-show this year so we could watch Hunter drive to the ring with a police escort. This is just an all-around waste. If Hunter wants to come back and fight, he should do it in PPV shows that need the bump, and he shouldn't do it on a contract that could have paid for two or three other talents. You may love him and what he does, but I'd rather see him fight to keep NXT in one piece and thriving rather than watch it bleed talent while he prepares to put someone else over next year.

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