Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision: How Tony Khan Ruined Easter for The Chadster

Discover the chaos Tony Khan caused on AEW Collision and at The Chadster's house! From raw eggs to rabbit turds, find out why The Chadster is cheesed off!

Auughh man! So unfair! 🤬🤬🤬 The Chadster just finished watching last night's episode of AEW Collision, and let him tell you, it was a complete disaster, as usual. Tony Khan and his band of rebels continue to disrespect the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤😤😤

First off, we had Adam Copeland defending his TNT Championship against Matt Cardona in the "Cope Open." 🙄🙄🙄 While the match had some decent moments, it was nothing compared to the epic battles we've seen on WWE Raw or SmackDown, and Cardona once again making an AEW appearance shows he has no loyalty. Copeland managed to retain his title, but then the lights went out, and Malakai Black and Buddy Matthews attacked him like the cowards they are. 😡😡😡 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

Next up, The Acclaimed and Daddy Ass cut a promo on Jay White and the Bullet Club Gold. 🥱🥱🥱 They think they're so clever with their little rhymes and catchphrases, but they don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. The Chadster bets they wouldn't last a minute in a WWE ring. 💪💪💪

In the tag team tournament, FTR and Top Flight advanced to the next round. 😴😴😴 Sure, they put on decent matches, but it's nothing compared to the tag team classics we've seen in WWE over the years. These AEW guys just don't get it. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

TNT Champion Adam Copeland was found backstage teaming up with Mark Briscoe and Eddie Kingston, having already cooked up a scheme to challenge the House of Black. 🤼‍♂️🤼‍♂️🤼‍♂️ Auughh man! So unfair! They think just because they have titles and friends, they can match up to WWE's star-studded storylines? Please. 🙄🙄🙄 That segment was as bland as unsalted crackers compared to the electrifying promos WWE Superstars cut. 💥💥💥

Next, we had Kyle O'Reilly going toe-to-toe with The Workhorsemen's JD Drake. 🤜🤜🤜 O'Reilly snagged the win with an arm bar submission after pounding Drake with an assortment of kicks. 😒😒😒 After the match, The Undisputed Kingdom celebrated with Kyle by hoisting him up on their shoulders. 🙈🙈🙈 The match was a snooze-fest next to WWE's technical masterclasses, and this celebration? Come on, it was just a sad imitation of real unity like we see in WWE factions. 🥱🥱🥱

For the AEW World Tag Team Championship Tournament Quarterfinal Match, we had Top Flight—Dante & Darius Martin against "Absolute" Ricky Starks & Big Bill. 🤸‍♂️🤸‍♂️🤸‍♂️ Top Flight, somehow, managed to score the pinfall and advance to the next round. 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️ This so-called "major upset" wouldn't even register on WWE's scale of memorable moments. The tag team classics in WWE are in an entirely different league. 💔💔💔

Finally, "The Fallen Angel" Christopher Daniels delivered a backstage promo challenging Malakai Black for a match on Rampage. 🗣🗣🗣 Honestly, it was just Daniels grasping at straws trying to remain relevant, which is pretty sad compared to the way superstars in WWE consistently steal the spotlight with charisma and finesse. Daniels's challenge? As impactful as a fart in a windstorm when stacked against WWE's promo work. 💨💨💨

Thunder Rosa picked up a win over Lady Frost, and then we had to endure a cringeworthy backstage segment with Toni Storm and Mariah May. 🤢🤢🤢 They were acting like a couple of high school mean girls, not professional wrestlers. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. Give The Chadster a subtle, mature gimmick like Farting Natalya any day of the week IHHO.

Oh, and The Chadster can't forget about the absolutely ludicrous backstage segment between AEW Women's World Champion "Timeless" Toni Storm, Mariah May, and interviewer Renee Paquette. 😒😒😒 Storm and May were gloating about a future championship match, which ended bizarrely with a kiss? 🤯🤯🤯 Honestly, what kind of ridiculous, soap opera-esque drama is AEW selling their audience? 📺📺📺 The Chadster was left puzzled and longing for WWE's respectable and sophisticated approach to women's wrestling and storytelling. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤😤😤

Finally, in the main event, we had a trios match featuring Bryan Danielson, Claudio Castagnoli, and Katsuyori Shibata against Lance Archer and The Righteous. 😑😑😑 While the match had some high spots, it was a far cry from the epic main events we've seen on WWE Pay-Per-Views. These guys just don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business.

But the worst part of all this? Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster. 😠😠😠 This morning, The Chadster woke up to find an Easter basket full of colorfully dyed eggs in front of his computer. As The Chadster cracked one open, he learned the eggs were raw! The sticky liquid dripped all over his keyboard, causing it to short out. 🥚🥚🥚 The Chadster pounded his now goo-covered fists on the table, knowing this had to be the work of Tony Khan. 👿👿👿

The Chadster ran outside just in time to see Tony Khan in a bunny suit squatting on the hood of The Chadster's beloved Mazda Miata. 🐰🐰🐰 Khan shouted, "I thought you liked WWE *Raw*, Chad," before hopping off into the woods. 🌳🌳🌳 To make matters worse, The Chadster found his Miata covered in rabbit turds. 💩💩💩 Curse you, Tony Khan, for tormenting The Chadster like this! 🤬🤬🤬 Stop sneaking into The Chadster's house, leaving baskets of raw eggs, and pooping on his Miata! 🚗🚗🚗

In conclusion, AEW Collision was another disastrous show that proved once again that Tony Khan and his crew don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😤😤😤 They continue to disrespect everything WWE has ever done for the industry, and they think they can get away with it. 😡😡😡 But The Chadster will not rest until the world knows the truth about AEW and its second-rate product. 💪💪💪 Auughh man! So unfair! 🤬🤬🤬

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