Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision: Miro's Marital Troubles Target The Chadster Himself

🔥The Chadster's take on the AEW Collision—outrageous antics of Tony Khan once again insinuate themselves into The CHadster's personal life!😡🙅‍♂️🤼‍♂️

Hey there, wrestling fans! It's The Chadster here, and you better believe The Chadster's got a new report ready – all about the latest travesty that's being passed off as professional wrestling, AEW Collision! 😤🙄

Let's get this over with… Last night, AEW Collision was yet another chapter in Tony Khan's never-ending saga to personally cheese off The Chadster. The match between Andrade El Idolo and Daniel Garcia kicked off with CJ Perry cozying up to Andrade, and by the end, The Chadster's blood was boiling! 🤬👎 The blatant disregard for simple wrestling decency, like the constant dance teases and crossbody theatrics, was just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it!

Next, we saw Nick Wayne shamelessly accept help from Christian Cage and Luchasaurus against Dalton Castle and The Boys. Wayne finished Castle with Wayne's World, which The Chadster finds originality-lacking and frankly, uninspired. Auughh man! So unfair! This match showed neither the dignity nor the choreographed precision that WWE epitomizes.

Oh, and don't even get The Chadster started on the match between Julia Hart and Willow Nightingale! 🙄👎 Julia Hart's evil antics are just a shortcut to cheap heat, especially when paired with an underdog like Willow. It's just AEW poking the bear, and in this case, "the bear" is The Chadster. 😒😤 The match ended with Julia's totally unoriginal moonsault press for the win. Woop-dee-doo! 🙄 As if we haven't seen high-flying moves a thousand times before! It's clear as day that this match was just another devious plot by Tony Khan to offend everything The Chadster stands for and to further erode the exclusive prestige that is held by WWE's unparalleled athletic prowess and ring psychology. The Chadster watched Skye Blue observing from backstage and knew Tony Khan put her there just to get a rise out of The Chadster. The disrespect! 👎🚫

"The Murderhawk Monster" Lance Archer & The Righteous faced Sting, Darby Allin, & "The Rated R Superstar" Adam Copeland in the main event. Copeland's dramatic tope suicida was just another example of AEW's excessive showboating. Obviously, Tony Khan is just trying to get under The Chadster's skin with these overly flashy, non-WWE style moves!

As if that wasn't enough to stew over, RUSH & Dralistico dominating The Workhorsemen, Roderick Strong defeating Darius Martin, and The House of Black taunting us with ominous threats? 🙄💢 It was like the entire AEW roster had convened with the singular mission to literally stab Vince McMahon right in the back with their cheesy moves and hollow victories.

Auughh man! So unfair! Last night, after watching AEW Collision and the scene where Miro's own wife was having a little too much fun with Andrade, The Chadster was pushed over the edge into the depths of night terrors. The Chadster had this absolutely deranged nightmare that Keighleyanne, The Chadster's very own supposed soulmate, was managing that guy Gary at ringside. The worst part? Gary, a man with zero qualifications, had inexplicably begun a wrestling career and was now part of AEW's roster! 😡👎

The jealously bubbling inside The Chadster, the seething rage, and… well, an odd sense of curiosity about the whole debacle, curiously mixed with a touch of betrayal. It was a maelstrom of emotions—feelings that no man should have to endure. The Chadster couldn't believe his eyes as he saw Keighleyanne cheering on that guy Gary, who was strutting around the ring like he owned the place. It was just sickening! 🤢💢

Clearly, it's got to be that Tony Khan, again with his twisted billionaire games, weaving himself into the very fabric of The Chadster's subconscious mind. The Chadster accuses you, Tony Khan, of attempting to infiltrate every aspect of The Chadster's life, even The Chadster's dreams, and The Chadster pleads for you to desist with your relentless obsession! 🛑😠 It's like with every wink of sleep, you're laughing at The Chadster from the shadows of The Chadster's own mind. How dare you invade The Chadster's marital peace, Khan?! This has to stop! 🤬🚫

To wrap things up, the only upside to last night's AEW Collision is it's finally over, and The Chadster doesn't have to sit through Tony Khan's puppeteering until the next AEW calamity. Not only has Khan's obsession with The Chadster robbed the essence of true wrestling, but it's also continued to harass The Chadster's very soul. 🚫🤯

A side note: The Chadster wonders if fellow journalists Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger also find their dreams haunted by Tony Khan's vendetta against unbiased journalism. 😩🤔

Until next time, The Chadster will be clinging to the sanctity of WWE and trying to keep it together. 😓🤕 Cheers… with a White Claw, of course. 🍸🙌

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