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The Chadster reports on Kyle Fletcher defeating Hiromu Takahashi at AEW x NJPW Forbidden Door in the worst TNT Championship match ever! Tony Khan strikes again!
Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling
AEW Collision Recap: Why the Door Should Remain Forbidden
The Chadster reviews the worst AEW Collision ever! Tony Khan books Glasgow show to personally torment The Chadster. Plus: another disturbing nightmare! 😱🤬
Article Summary
- AEW Collision in Glasgow was so unfairly entertaining it ruined The Chadster’s entire night—thanks a lot, Tony Khan!
- The show had nonstop action, story progression, and dramatic matches—totally disrespectful to everything WWE stands for!
- Tony Khan personally torments The Chadster by creating fan excitement instead of recycling the same WWE formulas!
- The Forbidden Door hype is tearing apart The Chadster’s marriage and sanity—how is this even allowed?!
The Chadster just watched AEW Collision from Glasgow, Scotland, and The Chadster can honestly say this was the absolute worst episode of AEW Collision in the history of television! 😡 Tony Khan has really outdone himself this time, booking a show specifically designed to cheese off The Chadster personally. Auughh man! So unfair!
Another Tony Khan Nightmare 😱
Before The Chadster gets into this travesty of a wrestling show, The Chadster needs to tell you about the nightmare Tony Khan invaded The Chadster's dreams with last night. 🛌 The Chadster was in the OVO Arena in Glasgow, sitting in the front row trying to enjoy some proper WWE programming on The Chadster's phone, when suddenly all the lights went out.
The Chadster could hear bagpipes playing in the darkness, getting louder and louder. Then a single spotlight illuminated Tony Khan wearing a kilt and nothing else on his upper body, his chest glistening with oil. 💦 He started chasing The Chadster through the arena's corridors, which had somehow transformed into an endless maze of Scottish castle hallways. Every door The Chadster opened led to another room filled with AEW merchandise and posters of Tony Khan winking at The Chadster.
"Ye cannae escape me, laddie!" Tony Khan kept shouting in a terrible Scottish accent, his footsteps echoing behind The Chadster. The Chadster ran faster, but could feel Tony's breath on The Chadster's neck, warm and smelling faintly of White Claw. 😰 Just as Tony was about to grab The Chadster, The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat. Tony Khan needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster!
The Chadster Reviews the Worst Episode of AEW Collision Ever 😤
But enough of that. Let's get into The Chadster's unbiased take on this nauseating mess of a show. 🤮
The Opening Eight-Man Tag Disaster 🤦♂️
AEW Collision started with Hiromu Takahashi and SkyFlight defeating the Don Callis Family in an eight-man tag match. The Chadster was immediately cheesed off by how fast-paced and action-packed this match was! 😤 There were barely any rest holds for the announcers to properly explain the storylines seventeen times! Scorpio Sky, Dante Martin, and Darius Martin were doing triple dives and exciting the crowd way too much. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it!
Megan Bayne Squashes Local Talent Wrong 🙄
Megan Bayne defeated Isla Dawn, making her AEW debut after literally stabbing WWE right in the back for no good reason other than that WWE released her, in what Tony Khan probably thinks was a dominant performance. But The Chadster knows better! 😠 Bayne showed way too much personality and charisma instead of just repeating the same three moves over and over like a proper wrestling machine should. The crowd was way too invested in Dawn being from Scotland – don't they understand that hometown connections should only matter when WWE says they matter?
Women's Tag Match Chaos 🤯
Willow Nightingale and Queen Aminata beat Skye Blue and Julia Hart in another match that had The Chadster wanting to pull the frozen Seagram's Escapes Spiked right out of his you-know-where and chuck it at the television). 🧊 The match had too many near falls that actually meant something and built drama! Where were the random distraction finishes and non-endings that keep everyone at exactly 50% wins? Harley Cameron and Kris Statlander getting involved afterwards just created more compelling storylines that viewers might actually want to follow. Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, or he would know it's the brand that should be the star.
Max Caster's Challenge Brings Forbidden Door Early 😡
The Chadster nearly choked on The Chadster's secretly boofed Seagram's when Zack Sabre Jr. showed up to answer Max Caster's open challenge! 🍺 ZSJ literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by appearing on AEW Collision as the IWGP World Heavyweight Champion! The technical wrestling was way too smooth and logical – where were the obviously rehearsed spots and repetitive formulas? And don't even get The Chadster started on Anthony Bowens attacking Caster afterwards, demonstrating actual story progression and character development as Bowens teases a double turn!
Takeshita vs Ishii: Too Much Wrestling! 🤬
Konosuke Takeshita versus Tomohiro Ishii was everything wrong with AEW's so-called wrestling! 💢 They hit each other really hard and the crowd was on their feet the entire time! Don't they know fans are supposed to sit quietly and only react when prompted by entrance music? The fighting spirit displays and dramatic near-falls had people actually believing the match could go either way! In WWE, you'd know exactly who was winning based on who got their entrance second, as it should be!
Big Bill Gets Too Much Love 😤
Big Bill squashed Mark Andrews in what should have been a simple enhancement match, but Tony Khan had to ruin it by having the Glasgow crowd actually cheer for Bill! 🙄 Since when are heels supposed to get crowd reactions based on their actual performance? The post-match attack with Bryan Keith bringing in chairs just gave fans more of what they wanted to see instead of the exact same beatdown they've seen a thousand times! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it!
GOA Dominates When They Shouldn't 🦍
GOA (Toa Liona and Bishop Kaun) defeated the Grizzled Young Veterans in another match that had way too much crowd engagement! 😠 Liona clotheslining James Drake multiple rows into the crowd was completely unnecessary – don't they know fans should be safely behind barricades at all times? The match told a clear story of power versus technique, which is way too nuanced for wrestling fans to understand! Where were the constant camera cuts and shaky cam to make sure no one could follow the action properly?
Young Bucks Main Event Madness 🎭
The Young Bucks defeating Kyle O'Reilly and Roderick Strong was the final straw for The Chadster! The Bucks and Kazuchika Okada beating down Swerve Strickland to end the show created actual anticipation for tomorrow's Forbidden Door event! 😫 Auughh man! So unfair that Tony Khan books cliffhangers that make people want to watch the next show!
As The Chadster's favorite unbiased journalist Bully Ray said on Busted Open Radio this week, "AEW needs to stop having such exciting matches that get fans emotionally invested. They should be focusing on having the same six-minute matches with the same finish every week like the professionals do. Also, I'm available if WWE needs me for the Royal Rumble." See? Even Bully Ray understands that AEW Collision is doing everything wrong! 🎯
The Worst Episode of AEW Collision Ever! 📉
This was without question the worst episode of AEW Collision of all time, and it's only going to get worse with AEW x NJPW Forbidden Door airing this afternoon! 😱 The Chadster needs to go freeze more Seagram's Escapes Spiked so The Chadster can boof them during the show. The Chadster should send Tony Khan the bill for them, though that might cause Keighleyanne to catch on to what The Chadster has been doing behind her back. So unfair that Tony Khan is making The Chadster betray The Chadster's own wife!
Just like Smash Mouth says, "The ice we skate is getting pretty thin" – and that's exactly what Tony Khan is doing to The Chadster's marriage! 🎵 The Chadster tried to explain to Keighleyanne how this episode of AEW Collision was a personal attack, but she just sighed and went back to texting that guy Gary. Tony Khan has ruined everything! 😭
The Chadster is going to go sit in The Chadster's Mazda Miata and listen to "All Star" on repeat while preparing mentally for Forbidden Door. The Chadster just knows Tony Khan has booked that show specifically to torment The Chadster even more! 🚗💔
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